


Abstract Masquerade

by Muffarino



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Chatting & Messaging, Family, High School, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Secret Identity, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-06
Updated: 2012-11-06
Packaged: 2017-11-18 02:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muffarino/pseuds/Muffarino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak is a socially awkward teenager with a best friend whose real name he doesn't know, whose face he's never seen except under a mask, and who has a massive crush on him...but Cass is already pining over someone else. High school AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm Australian and not at all familiar with the American schooling system, also my school is like…imagine those stereotypical rich schools in tv shows etc. and that's my school. Also there is no bullying here and no formal cliques. I could walk up to one of the popular groups (that accounts for pretty much 3 quarters of the grade) and have a friendly conversation with them. If you're not nice, you're not liked here. The few gay classmates I have are well loved. Our last fight lasted half a minute and ended with the two guys hugging it out. So everything I write about stereotypical schools and bullying etc. is entirely second hand knowledge from pop culture and fanfiction so don't judge me if it's inaccurate. Thank you. :)

D: he sounds like a total douchebag…he doesnt deserve u

C: D, we've talked about this. He's a great guy…deep down. What we see on the surface is all just an act, you won't realise what a wonderful person he is if you only scratch the surface. Give him a chance, at least.

D: …i still dont like him

C: You don't have to like him. I'm the one with the raging crush on him.

D: sure i cant interest u into switchin to me? i wouldnt hurt you like this douchewad

C: You're just saying that because you want to get into my pants.

D: guilty. ;P

C: You're terrible.

Castiel leant back in his chair and fondly reread his conversation with his partner. He let a small, amused smile play at the corners of his lips as his eyes flicked over the words. The front legs of his chair rose off the ground and the enigmatic teen softly rocked back and forth as he waited idly for a reply.

Castiel let out a yawn and scrubbed his eyes with his palms. It had been a long day and he begrudgingly reminded himself for the umpteenth time that evening that he really ought to be finishing his chemistry report that was due tomorrow rather than chatting to his mysterious pen pal (he had already rewritten the report to make improvements three times, he's just very serious when it comes to school). His tired gaze moved to his bedside clock and half lidded eyes attempted to read the glaring red 12:34 between his lashes.

A soft bell chime rung the air, indicating a new response and Castiel instantly threw himself forward. The legs of his chair unstably wobbled a bit at the sudden unexpected jolt of movement and rough return to the ground. He usually sat with his laptop on his bed so he wasn't too familiar with the different seating arrangement.

D: not denying that. wanna set me on the right path. a little tlc might do the trick. if not how bout somethin a little more hardcore? ;)

C: I do not understand.

D: Aww, youre adorable

C: …D, please.

D: yeah yeah. been great talkin to u sexxy but I gotta get my beauty sleep x

C: Good night, D. Sweet dreams.

D: love u 2 ;)

Castiel's eyes passed over the last sentence without a second glance. A while ago he may have blushed or fretted over the simple word but now he paid it no heed. D threw it about so casually it had lost most of its meaning. Mind you, on the odd occasion, usually when talking to or about Castiel, it was spoken with such sincerity that he was taken aback. It was no secret that D had a massive crush on Castiel; he'd admit it almost every time they saw each other.

Another chime was heard and Castiel pulled his attention back to the present.

D: c u friday?

C: I wouldn't miss it for the world.

D: perfect. good night my angel x

Here's the really weird part of Castiel and D's relationship. They'd already met. In fact, they usually met at least once a week but despite this, they still didn't really know who each other were. How many people could say they've met their mysterious pen friend (who you confided everything with) numerous times in person and still not even know their real name? If that's not enough, their first meeting was face to face too…well…sort of…

It was at a 'youth club for antisocial and introverted young people under and including the age of 20 to socialise in a comfortable environment without the pressure of identity.' Or so the flyer one of Castiel's elder brothers, Gabriel, had shoved into his hand had said.

It was a small underground club called 'Introverts Identified' with one main rule: no faces. Yeah, sounds odd but it's quite simple really: the dress code required a mask but most of its patrons took advantage of the anonymity to dress in strange attire. So…basically it was an underground youth masquerade club. Castiel had been sceptical at first but he had grown to love the place like a second home.

It was small and not particular popular. In all the times Castiel had gone there he'd never once seen more than 30 patrons at a time. It was small, quiet, and secluded. Just the way he liked it. The music was never too loud, never too aggressive and never so upbeat it triggered the uncomfortably close proximity required in dancing. Instead was a soft, comfortable genre, albeit a little dark. The cozy, serene décor only helped to further create the perfect atmosphere for people like Castiel to interact. People that were too quiet, too introverted, or too socially retarded to handle normal contact. Castiel, unfortunately, fell into all three of these categories.

This only begged the question: What on earth was a guy like D doing there?

Castiel's first impression of him had not been a good one. Gabriel had ensured him that the club would be quiet and he wouldn't be forced into interacting with others if he didn't want to. Well…he'd been wrong.

Essentially, he was on the right track. The place was perfect for Castiel to relax in an attempt to develop his severely famished social life…D however, was not.

\-- 

He'd barely been there for half an hour and was only just starting to relax when two brothers had burst through the doors. The younger of the two, despite being the taller, looked slightly uncomfortable with his elder brother clinging to his shoulders and moving in confident strides – a way so clearly extroverted that Castiel wondered what the hell he was doing there. He assumed it was like Gabe who definitely needed no assistance in socialising but was there to keep his younger brother company and support him on his trek into real human contact.

Castiel was not about to let his maiden voyage into a healthy social life be ruined by some inconsiderate buffoon so he pointedly ignored the two brothers. After seventeen years of a relatively uneventful life, Castiel had finally come to the realisation that the universe hated him and he would never get what he wished for.

"An angel, huh?" A deep voice sounded from behind where Cass was sitting. He could practically hear the amused smirk in his voice and it send shivers down his spine and set the hairs on the back of his neck on end in a way that was definitely not positive. "Well-

"I swear if you compose a flirtation in the form of some cheesy pickup line about my outfit, I will pour my drink down the front of yours." Castiel shot him down coldly.

The stranger winced in mock hurt. "Oh my dear angel, you have me all wrong…" he paused a moment to wink at Castiel, "but an angel with bite is damn sexy."

Castiel just stared at him with an unamused blankness.

The stranger rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet in contemplation for a short moment before collapsing in the arm chair opposite Castiel's so they were facing one another. They were in a small circle of seats of various styles in the corner of the club, away from everyone else (although most of the patrons were in similar locations).

"Well, my dear angel, may I ask your name?"

Castiel wished he would stop it with the angel stuff; he got enough of that from his brothers who insisted he was their own little angel, their gift from God or something like that. He wasn't at all surprised when Gabriel had thrown together a simple angel outfit for him to wear to this stupid costume club. At least it was tasteful and far from gaudy. His mask was pure white with intricate silver patterns you would only notice close up. On one side of it extended 5 pale feathers in different lengths adorned with a string of fake pearls and tiny white flowers. He also wore what he knew was an incredibly expensive pair of gorgeous white wings. Gabe had at least allowed him to wear a simple black shirt, skinny jeans and his old and battered, tan trench coat rather than the embarrassingly frilly and breezy angelic robe he'd picked out for him. Castiel shivered slightly at the memory of his three brothers cooing over him and taking what seemed like hundreds of photos before he managed to push Gabe out the door, the elder escaped with only a plain black mask. Lucky bastard.

He also didn't like the fact that this new character reminded him so strongly of his crush he pined for, not just in physical appearance but body language.

"…Okaaaaay," D said to himself and Castiel mentally cursed himself for zoning out despite his brothers' warnings. "Well, you can call me D, isn't privacy sort of the point of this place, anyway?" He extended his hand, indicating his desire for a hand shake, Cass carefully noted. See, he was learning this socialising thing.

After what felt like an eternity of awkward silence, Castiel spoke. "If you are insistent on using singular letters for identification than a simple 'C' will suffice." Castiel hesitantly shook Dean's outstretched hand with probably one of the most pathetic grips in the history of handshakes. He snatched his shaking hand back as soon as it was socially acceptable (or at least what he thought was socially acceptable, his brothers were struggling in mentoring him on that particular field). Extended physical contact made him panic.

"C…" D tapped his chin lightly, "what's that short for? Chris? Charlie? Callum? Cameron?"

"Just. C." Castiel growled out.

D tipped his head back and let out a genuine laugh that rung through the air, what was so amusing, however, Castiel was unsure of. "Alright, don't get your panties in a twist, Just C."

Castiel tilted his head to the side. "I do not think you understood my last comment, I apologise. Just C as in the letter and the letter only."

D choked back another laugh at this but seemingly failed if the soft shaking of his shoulders and restrained smile was any indication. "You're one weird dude."

"I…apologise?"

D shook his head lightly. "It's a good thing, don't worry."

"So I should take it as a compliment?"

"Yes. Yes you should."

Castiel actually felt himself warming up to the guy and his lips curled up lightly with bashful hesitation. "So, what are you dressed as?" He gestured to D's outfit, a simple leather jacket, shirt, and jeans combo with a mask.

D, who had been staring at Castiel with what seemed to be slight adoration startled at his comment. "O-oh, right…I'm the devil, I think…or a demon. I really don't know. Ask Sa-…um…S, my brother, he picked it out for me. I've never really been one for dressing up." He pointed to his mask.

D's mask was a deep red, bordering on black and featured four, flat, spike-like horns that ran parallel to his forehead. The ones on the inside were far smaller than the ones on the outside. The red seemed to make his eyes stand out more. Castiel thought they reminded him of fields of windswept grass; he was amused by the image and his desire to roll around and play in a similar scene. He forced himself to maintain conversation, he had a habit of zoning out in the middle of things; a habit his brothers affectionately reprimanded him about.

"You know the devil is actually an angel, right?"

D looked at Castiel like he had just told him the sky was made of cotton candy. "What?! No way! But he's so…so…evil. Angels are supposed to be good, compassionate…in your case: beautiful, right?"

Castiel ignored the last part. "Lucifer is a fallen angel." He coughed into his palm lightly. "And not all angels are nice. Did you know the Archangel Michael once burned a hole into some man's skull so as to force him to build a monastery dedicated to him?"

D whistled appreciatively. "That's wicked."

Castiel nodded enthusiastically. "Yep, angels are warrior of God, soldiers. They're pretty…um…badass." The word was foreign and tasted weird on his tongue. He had blindly groped in his mind for an adjective off the list of commonly used casual words his brothers had written up for him in yet another attempt to help ease him into social competency.

"I'll say." Castiel sighed in relief that his word choice had been suitable. "How'd you learn so much about angels?" D asked with genuine interest.

Castiel shrugged. "My family has always been interested in this sort of thing. We're rather religious. In fact, all my brothers and I are named after angels."

D laughed heartily. "So I'm assuming you're not called Cameron, then?"

"Not Cameron then, it's not very angelic, is it?"

"Hey! Don't diss angel Cameron! He's my favourite!"

Castiel couldn't resist the small grin that commandeered his face.

They'd spent an hour or so after that just chatting before Gabriel came over with the biggest grin on his face and cooed over his younger brother for finally learning to hold a long conversation without having a panic attack or seriously offending someone. D and Castiel split ways with an im address and a promise to meet again next Friday in their pockets. Gabriel had enthusiastically recounted his dear baby brother's progress to his other two older brothers, Michael and Lucifer, who were both card carrying members in the let's-make-Cass-feel-awkward-and-uncomfortable-with-overly-enthusiastic-displays-of-affection club.

\-- 

Castiel awoke with a jolt to the soft knocking on his door. He hadn't even realised he had nodded off after his im conversation with D and berated himself that he had wasted time he could have spent on his assignment. He gave a soft call in the direction of the doorway for whoever was there to enter and sighed at his obviously sleep-rough voice.

Michael poked his head around the doorway. "Hello, Cassie," He said in a soft whisper and nudged the door open with his foot as both his hands were occupied with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and a plate of biscuits, "did you fall asleep at your desk again?" Castiel nodded regretfully and his eldest brother sighed as he placed the snack on the desk next to Cass' whopper chemistry text book.

Michael was the eldest of the Novak brothers at age 27, and was currently working as a lawyer at a small firm in the city. Lucifer was next, he was 25. As the more troubled son he had gone to jail for a short time for some crime or another (Castiel had reason to believe he ran a small but influential gang) but now that he was out he was studying business at a community college while juggling a part time job and, unlike Castiel, his active social life. They weren't bad off, far from it, but Luci just liked having independency and his own money in his pocket. The same couldn't be said for Gabe.

The second youngest son always leeched off his family's seemingly bottomless pockets but ever since the four brothers had begun living together, Michael, the most responsible, had forced Gabriel to work for his board. He worked his dream job at the nearby lolly shop so he couldn't complain. His two eldest brothers certainly did not get along, Michael was the perfect son in every way and a model citizen while Luci…well, Luci wasn't…he loved freedom and hated authority, two things Michael certainly disagreed on. They were at each other's throats whenever the opportunity arose but had an unspoken agreement to stay out of each other's way and not fight for Gabriel and Castiel's sake.

Cass…well, Cass was the socially awkward, mentally unstable, eccentric, nerdy little brother in his senior year in high school. That, in conjunction with his three fiercely overprotective big brothers, was a terrible combination.

"Any chance I could convince you to stop working and get a good night's sleep for once?"

"No." Castiel said simply, it wasn't intentionally cold, he just didn't quite understand what the best thing to say in reply was.

Michael brushed his brother's jet black hair with his hand affectionately, trying to tame his perpetual bedhead to no avail. "Okay, just remember you'll do great and there's no reason to push yourself. Make sure you get some sleep or I'll have to make you." He said the last words teasingly in such an obvious manner that even Castiel would understand.

"Yes, Michael."

After placing a light kiss on Castiel's forehead, short just the way Cass liked it, Michael left the room, exchanging pleasant good night's before he shut the door.

Castiel worked on his report for a while longer and next thing he knew, he was being woken up by his alarm clock. Preparing for school was almost a mindless activity for Castiel now and he had made it downstairs with little memory of his preparations. As per usual Michael had cooked breakfast for them. Pancakes, the youngest had noted with happiness, with extra, extra maple syrup on Gabriel's part. He chomped down the sweet breakfast and watched with little interest as Michael wished both of them a good day and the best safety as per usual before he rushed out the door for work. Gabe had offered Cass a lift to school which he gladly took.

At school, Castiel quickly made his way to his locker, sliding gracefully past the crowds unnoticed and invisible. He ducked his head into his locker and felt his face heat up as a small group walked by lead by Sam and Dean Winchester. It seemed like all other heads in the hallway turned as they walked by. Sam was popular, sure, but it was more due to his association with his brother. Castiel was sure the younger boy would have been just another nerdy kid holed up in the library without him. It was Dean everyone was really looking at, he was the most popular guy in school and his presence alone demanded everyone's attention.

Castiel tried to shrink even further into his locker as the boys got closer and he overheard their conversation.

"So I noticed you were up late again last night, Dean." Sam started, punching his brother's shoulder lightly as he teased him. "Talking with your boyfriend again?" His smirk was obvious in his voice.

"Shut up, Sammy. Keep your nose outta it." Dean pushed his brother's shoulder causing the sasquatch of a 15 year old to lose his balance slightly.

Castiel just wanted to jump into his locker and slam the door closed as he felt Dean pass by him so closely he could almost feel it. The raven haired teen mentally cursed himself. Damn him and his stupid crush on the eldest Winchester brother.

Popular and perfect guys like Dean don't fall for socially retarded, nerdy angel boys like Castiel.


	2. Chapter 2

"Wakey, wakey, sleeping beauty!"

Castiel let out a surprised squeak as he was startled awake by something heavy landing on him. He tugged his covers up a little higher to cover his face as if the thin fabric would protect him from the onslaught he knew was soon to follow.

"C'mooooooon, Cassie! Pay attention to me." The dirty blond whined as he playfully poked at the Castiel-shaped mound in the bed that he was straddling.

Castiel yawned and shuffled the sheet down slightly so only his eyes could peek over the edge. "Good morning, Luc." He mumbled in a half awake drawl.

Lucifer's bright blue eyes sparkled at this. Cass and him had the same colour eyes, they got them from their mother apparently whereas the other two brothers had a hazel green. From what he'd heard, Cass was the splitting image of their mother; he had no memory of her so he relied on the descriptions of others. She had jet black hair that she had given Michael and himself, Gabriel was a brunette like their father and somehow, somewhere along the line, Lucifer had gotten blonde hair.

The second eldest Novak brother lay down on top of Castiel, the covers in between them. "Good morning, little bro." He tried to pinch Castiel's nose but the teen shied away from the touch and attempted to fight him off by blowing a steady stream of cool air that only made Lucifer chuckle. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"Yes, thank you for asking."

Lucifer was usually in charge of the wake-up-Cass-by-any-means-necessary patrol if the youngest of the brothers hadn't woken up already. Castiel was just grateful that this morning's wakeup was relatively peaceful. Often his brother would utilise miniature firecrackers or cooking pans to wake him up. It wasn't like Castiel was a particularly heavy sleeper, his brother just liked annoying him. Lucifer excelled in stopping people from sleeping. The jerk.

"Alright, well it's time to get out of bed, Princess. You have school in twenty minutes."

Castiel's blue eyes widened considerable and he shoved his brother off the bed. The 25 year old rolled to the ground with a thump and a laugh, obviously enjoying his baby brother's torment. "LUC! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!" He was definitely going to be late. It took nearly fifteen minutes to drive to school, much longer to walk and a few minutes to get to his locker. He had wanted to get there early today too.

The older boy propped himself up on his elbows and continued watching him with lazy amusement. "Michael told me to make sure you slept well." He looked at his fingernails with a distinct air of boredom. "Just be late, no one cares."

Castiel growled as he dug through his drawers, pulling clothes out on whim trying to find a clean uniform. He turned and glared at Lucifer hoping the older brother would get the hint and leave. He wasn't going to get changed with an audience there. Despite how close he was to his family, he was definitely not comfortable with showing skin to anyone. Castiel took a precious moment to mentally clap himself on the back for implying something with body language alone. He was getting better at this.

Luci begrudgingly pulled himself up from the ground and left the room, mumbling about getting Cass some toast and a lift to school.

The schedule was tight and Castiel didn't have time for his usual morning shower, a deodorant shower had to suffice. Instead he just pulled on his uniform, scrubbed his teeth with unrivalled ferocity and attempted to tame his hair and make himself look more presentable. When he ran downstairs it was right into Luci's chest. "Woah there, hot stuff." The blond raised his hands and Castiel snatched the two pieces of plain buttered toast from his fingertips and tore a huge chunk out of one between his teeth. "Alright, let's go."

Castiel prayed they would get there before the bell.

\-- 

Fortunately they had gotten there on time but Castiel still had to change his entire scheduld for the day. Cass had not been able to visit the library to get this book before class as he had planned and had to hurry between classes to find it.

Castiel stood on his toes and stretched his body as far as he could reach, but his fingers barely brushed the spine of the hardcover he wanted. He could feel his muscles stretch and his shirt untuck from his dress pants and cursed at the uncomfortable feel of air on his bare stomach usually covered by an immaculately neat uniform. Sighing in defeat, Castiel subtly toed off his shiny, black dress shoes and propped himself up on the shelf, toes clinging to the edge of the first shelf.

"Cass?" The raven haired teen tripped over his own feet as he was startled by the sudden voice and clung to the metal bookshelf for support. He turned his head to the side slowly, bright baby blues peeking out between strands of messy black. Sam Winchester's solid build stood at the opening between two bookshelves, watching Castiel with curious hazel eyes. "Do you need any help?"

Castiel sifted through his mind for any instruction on how to respond to such an offer. He got along with Sam okay; they were both library rats after all and had had quite a few lovely conversations in the past. They had never had enough for Castiel to be too comfortable around him but enough that they might be considered friends.

"Um…yes please, Sam. Your assistance would be very helpful."

The younger boy smiled at that and stepped closer to Cass with a natural hesitance and coyness only Sam could muster. He stood much taller than Castiel despite being two years his junior. It made him feel dwarfed. Insignificant. Cass didn't like it.

"The red hardcover on the top shelf." He systematically responded to Sam's questioning gaze.

Sam nodded and grabbed the book with such ease that Castiel felt rather embarrassed at his failed attempts. "Here you go, Cass." He paused a while and placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder – Cass had to stop himself from shaking it off – before speaking again. "You're my friend, you know you can always call me if you need help, right? So no more monkeying to get things, okay?"

"Yes, Sam. But you looked busy; I did not want to disturb you."

"Cass," Sam shook his head with an amused and hopeless look that made Castiel tilt his head in confusion, trying to comprehend the complex gesture. "I'd feel like shit if you'd hurt yourself."

Castiel ducked his head. "I'm sorry, Sam. I did not mean to worry you."

"It's nothing, just call me next time, kay?" He took a few steps back to his table before he spun around abruptly. "Hey, Cass, can I ask you a favour?"

Another one of Castiel's infamous head tilts appeared at this. "Yes, Sam. What is it?"

The giant of a fifteen year old scratched the back of his neck lightly in a way so distinctly Dean that Castiel felt his cheeks warm up. "Um…you're in physics with my brother, right?"

"Y-yes, but I do not sit near him."

Sam sighed. "Well, um…could you? Sit near him, that is. Please?"

This confused Castiel. He had no idea what the appropriate response was in this situation, and instead opted to remain silent and stock still until Sam continued.

"Well, Dean's really stubborn. He insists on working at our Uncle Bobby's car yard when he leaves school so he can raise a college fund for me but I know for a fact that he really wants to go to college too…"

Castiel nodded slowly, an appropriate action he hoped.

"He's real smart…you wouldn't think it but he's got a good brain and a talent for engineering but the jerk refuses to nurture it! I've been trying for a while now to get him to improve his grades and get into a college but he's just not motivated and I've-"

"Excuse me, Sam…" Cass interrupted, they younger teen was rambling, something he knew was ill advised, "may I ask the purpose of you telling me this?"

"Right…well, I was wondering if you could sit with Dean in class, get him to concentrate, you know?"

Castiel felt his brain melt. What? "I-I…D-Dean and I do not get along."

"Please, Cass. You're a good guy, I'm sure Dean'll appreciate that. Please, can you just do this for me?"

Nibbling at his bottom lip, Castiel contemplated this. On one hand he'd be with Dean and helping Sam out at the same time, on the other this was Dean they were talking about. What if Cass made a total fool of himself, or if Dean hated him, or…

"Okay." The words had escaped Castiel's lips before he could really think about it and it was too late to call them back.

Sam lit up like a firecracker, jumping up and down and praising Cass as much as possible before the librarian berated them both for disturbing the quiet. "Thank you, Cass. Thank you, this means a lot." He whispered before slinking back to his work, leaving a stunted Castiel in his wake.

Oh Cass, what have you gotten yourself into now?

\-- 

Mouth dry, palms sweaty, Castiel decided he was beyond the point of nervousness. He tried to swallow but felt himself choke. He tried to wipe his hands on his trousers discreetly but he was too twitchy and brought attention to them. Here he was, standing in front of his crush and making a complete fool of himself as the latter watched him with an expression that made it clear he thought Castiel was insane.

"Sam…sit…Cass…physics…" Castiel turned away abruptly and took a few trembling gulps of air. "I mean, well you see…um…Sam…sit…college…um…"

Choking, Cass quickly dashed back to his previous desk and dropped his books down. Knuckles turned white as Castiel clutched the side of the desk for support. Suddenly-graceless fingers fumbled in his pencil case for a small bottle and, after a few failures, had knocked out a single pill.

He cursed himself for the horrible timing of his miniature panic attack and he tried to calm himself. He wished D was here; his best friend always had a way of getting him to relax. The pill went down smoothly with one long gulp of water and Castiel stilled himself for a moment to breathe, glad that class had not started yet and most other students were otherwise occupied or too uninterested in him to take notice of his actions.

Breathe. Just. Breathe.

After pumping himself up, Cass returned to Dean with a piece of paper clasped tightly in his hands.

The object of his attraction looked up curiously but it quickly morphed into an expression of utter frustration when he noticed it was Castiel again. "Alright, freak. You obviously don't understand how things work around here so I'll say this simply: I don't care what you're-"

Cass really, really did not want to hear the end of that sentence. He was blissfully content in maintaining the kind-hearted view of Dean he had. So he shut the other up by shoving the piece of paper in front of him.

Ruby, who up until then had been sitting in the chair next to Dean watching the interaction with vague disinterest, perked up at this. "What's this, Dean-o? A love letter?" She quickly snatched the paper from Cass' hands while he was distracted, pointedly ignoring Castiel's meek cry of protest. "Looks like you've got yourself an admirer."

"Castiel squeaked because this wasn't entirely incorrect. He stood there awkwardly, with his shirt crumpled up tightly in his fists. He was unsure whether or not to try and steal the paper back, stand there waiting for their response or run back to his solitary desk at the front.

"Oh," Ruby sighed, "well, that's boring." She scrunched up the paper into a ball and chucked it at Dean who caught it effortlessly. His eyes quickly read the short sentences scrawled on the crumpled sheet. The only indication he was finished was a long sigh.

"So, Sammy wants you to babysit me?"

Cass tilted his head to the side. "N-no." He swallowed, caught his breath and tried to be his usual eloquent self. "Sam requested I make sure you are working. B-besides, you are too old to require a babysitter and I do not have the credentials."

Dean blinked a few times and Cass was enchanted by the way his lashes flickered over his deeb emerald orbs. Castiel was not stranger to silence in conversation so he could tell when the silence stretched between them had gotten unusually wide.

"Um…Dean?" Castiel prompted.

"Y-yeah,…um…Castiel, was it?" Dean paused to chew on his bottom lips lightly. "Sorry, it's just that you remind me of someone." Dean scratched the back of head the same way Sam had a few hours earlier. "I'd usually tell you to fuck off or something but Sam would have my head on a plate if he found out, so…" He nudged Ruby with his elbow. "Rubes, can you go sit with Alastair or Meg or something? My Happy over here's my new lab partner, apparently. Sammy's orders." Castiel vaguely remembered the round, yellow character from the children's books Michael or Gabe used to read to him when he was younger and he wondered why Dean thought Castiel shared similarities with him.

Thankfully all of Dean's friends knew that there was no point in arguing with him when Sam came into the picture so Ruby left the seat with little debate and few swears while Castiel went to pick up his books.

At this time the teacher had finally entered the classroom, he was a short, aging man with horrible hearing and a patient temperament. This combination only made him a push over or door mat and Castiel always felt very guilty whenever he just had to observe his teacher attempt to quiet his class, but he was not jumping into the middle of that. Hesitantly, Castiel sat down next to Dean. He made sure his seat was as far away from the latter as possible and sat with his back straight and shoulders stiff.

"Just so we're clear," Cass turned his head slowly to Dean at the sound of his warning voice, "I couldn't care less about Sam's little crusade here, he'll get over it when he realises it's going nowhere, and the only reason I'm letting you sit here is so that he won't snap at me or something. Don't expect any work from me, alright? And certainly don't assume that just because you're sitting here and buds with Sam now that we're friends, okay?" Dean sharply turned to face the whiteboards.

"I hate freaks like you."

Castiel's breath sped up and he suddenly became very interested with the graffiti on the work bench. He averted his eyes to the smooth plastic surface almost instantly, not before catching Dean biting his lower lip hesitantly out of the corner of his eye.

The rest of the lesson went by mostly uneventful. Castiel tried to refrain from another panic attack, Dean tried to ignore Castiel, and the two only really interacted again when the smaller teen attempted to help Dean on one of the questions they were assigned to do in their work books. The stubborn youth had obviously had no plan to even touch the work book but at least Castiel's nagging had gotten him to do one question. Castiel counted that as a victory.

The moment the bell rung, Castiel had jumped up from his seat and dashed out of the classroom. He was eager to get how and away from Dean to calm his beating heart.

\-- 

If that was going to become a daily occurrence, Castiel would be surprised if he didn't have a heart attack by the end of term.

D: so u got 2 sit next 2 luver boy. isnt that a good thing?

C: Of course it isn't, D! He thinks I'm a freak.

D: well u r a freak

C: Thank you for the kind words, D.

D: was that sarcasm i detected there? ur learning

I never said being a freak was a bad thing

C: You implied it.

D: i didnt imply anythin. u just assumed i meant somethin bad

C: Yes, well...usually when someone calls you a freak it isn't a good thing.

D: i think mayb u just dont want i good thing

ur freakishness makes you you, and that makes u perfect in my books

i love u, c. ur better than this. dont let this guy get 2 u

C: ...you're such an ass sometimes, you know that, right?

D: wat?! wat did i do this time?! D:

C: You're being so wonderful. It's so unfair to you that you're always so concerned about me and I'm hurting you by confiding in you about some stupid crush.

D: u idiot. talking 2 u is the best gift i could ask 4

Castiel has to take a moment to compose himself, letting out a single, breathy little sob at his friend's compassion. He really didn't do anything to deserve this and he always left their conversations with a dangerous mixture of untainted joy and crushing guilt.

Castiel was like a child when it came to emotions. There just was barely enough room in him for more than one emotion at once. When he felt an emotion, he felt it big. Like now, he just wanted to curl up and drown himself in the onslaught of emotions that had piled up throughout the day. It was exhausting. He must have said so because D's next comment was just what Castiel needed.

D: get sum rest, okay? go 2 bed early if you're so tired. i don't want u 2 feel like shit tomorrow. if u don't i swear i will find out where u live and knock u out or something

C: Thank you for the kind offer…I guess?

But I have to study maths, I was out of it in class today and I do not want to be left behind.

D: no. not happening. bed. now. doctor's orders.

…that's kinda kinky. wanna b my sexy nurse?

Castiel rolled his eyes and shook his head lightly at his friend's all too familiar antics.

C: Good night, D. x

D: u wound me bb. good night.

angels r watching over u xo

C: You're such a romantic sook.

D: lol well u love me 4 it ;)

Castiel didn't even bother denying it and logged off for the night. He fell asleep in an instant with a smile on his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

D: So we're not hanging out 2day? Seriously.

Dude, u cant just reject me like this after last night.

C: Yes, I can.

D: If this is what getting dumped feels like i don't ever want to break up with someone again

C: We were never dating; I cannot break up with you.

D: But last night…

C: Was wonderful, but does not classify as a first date or similar.

D: i hope u know uve just shattered my dreams

Last night was amazing, that was true, but Castiel refused to call it as romantic as D described it to be. His best friend had been talking practically nonstop about their (what Cass would strictly deny as totally platonic) night out the previous evening. The night had started normal, just the two of them chatting about school and family, then they'd gotten onto deeper topics, love, trust, and the grand topic of the night: freedom.

\-- 

"Man, explaining freedom to you is a bit like teaching poetry to fish." Dean joked.

Castiel furrowed his brows. "That was not meant as praise. Did you insult me, D?"

"Well…yeah…but I didn't mean it." D had sat up from his longing position to cradle Castiel's cheek. "I'm joking, C, lighten up a bit." He'd played with Castiel's hair in silence for a while. "You've never really experienced freedom before, have you?"

"…no." Castiel had admitted softly.

"You always do everything your brothers say, everything you're asked to." Castiel nodded. "That's lonely."

Blue eyes blinked a few times in sleepy confusion, D's constant playing with his hair was making him so relaxed and prone to dozing off. "I'm with my family, how is that lonely?"

D shook his head hopelessly. "You're not really with them, and they're not really with you… Without freedom you're not really you…if that makes any sense."

Castiel bit his lip. "W-would you show me freedom, D?"

D's large green eyes sparkled at this. "It would be my pleasure."

A large hand grabbed Castiel's much smaller one and had dragged him out of the club under Gabriel's radar before he could realise it. Castiel was being ushered to D's car but had dug his feet into the ground as the larger teen had tried to push him in. "I-I'm not sure about this, D, can you not show me freedom inside?"

To Castiel's surprise, D had just laughed at this. "But that's not really freedom, is it?" D was right, Castiel really had no idea what freedom was. "Just trust me. Give me that at least, C."

Castiel stilled and his heart beat faster as D gently caressed his now rosy red cheeks. "Just you, me, my baby. Give me this night, C. That's all I ask."

Castiel had nodded without thought and was in the passenger seat of the car before he could even realise it. They drove around aimlessly for hours. They had even travelled far out of the city, into the hills of the country side. Rolling around in the soft grass, getting stains on his pale jeans. Shoes and clothes getting soaked as they waded through long, dewy grass as they made their way up to an oak tree. Climbing higher and higher till they felt like their fingers could graze the stars through the leaves.

They'd driven back to the city in comfortable silence, staring in awe as the city lights had moved closer and closer on the horizon till it engulfed them whole. They drove around the empty streets in the suburbs, watching the motionless air, and the busy streets in the inner city, watching the night life and bustle. They had gone through the drive-thru of a white castle over and over, going back for more and more as they gouged on burgers, which Castiel discovered he had an unusually large appetite for, until they felt like their stomachs would explode.

D drove to the middle of an empty car park and they sat surrounded in burger wrappers in the back seat of the car with the radio tuned into a rock station and the volume so ear-shatteringly high they couldn't hear themselves think. Castiel had long since learnt to ignore the constant buzzing in his pocket as his brothers desperately tried to contact him, after a while D had grabbed the phone off him and tossed it in the back, claiming it was hindering Castiel's 'emotional growth'.

At 1am D had bought them a six pack of beer with his fake ID and they drunk themselves into a pleasantly tipsy state, heedless of caution and laughing at everything. Giggling in a mass of limbs as personal space became a thing of the past and all they cared about now was how close they could get to each other.

An elderly lady in a house nearby who had gotten sick of their noise had rapped on the window with her cane angrily, shot them the most venomous look and told them to keep it down. The two teens had laughed nonstop for minutes after she'd left but had eventually changed the radio to a soft rock station and turned the volume down.

The engine had been running the whole time, letting the heater and radio do their job (D had brushed this off; he could fix it if anything went wrong). The confined space and constant warmth made the boys chuck their shirts off, unconcerned of where they might land. Castiel had lain top of Dean, there wasn't much space in the back seat and they'd somehow managed to take up all of it and kept as intertwined as possible.

Calloused fingers mapped Castiel's bare torso with barely-there touches as Castiel played with D's pedant and breathed a wet patch onto the skin on the crook of his neck. Castiel knew he was going well over the line of a healthy friendship but was too content to care. The contact was their lifelines. The heavenly feel of skin on skin made them feel alive.

They'd never taken their masks off and Castiel supposed that had something to do with it. He'd never act so foolishly young without the anonymity. D neither. They both cherished the lack of judgement in this short moment of beautiful peace. Blue eyes curtained in white peered into D's emerald eyes. He was wearing an elegant black mask now, with silver swirls and black feathers framing each side. D had changed to this mask after their first few meetings, claiming that if he was going to dress as the devil he may as well be accurate, so if the devil was actually an angel then he'd be the sexiest angel out there. 'Aside from you, of course, C' he had told him.

The simple eye contact had held so much meaning. They had only a few short months but Castiel would never be able to share this with anyone but D, he knew that in his heart. D was special. D was unique. This whole thing was unique and no one could ever take these cherished memories away from him.

Before he knew it their lips had met, just a soft, vanilla press of lips that they would both hold onto the memory of for the rest of their lives. It was Castiel's first kiss and he wouldn't have wanted it any other way but when they'd separated he had forced himself to make it appear as if it was a mistake.

"We're drunk." Castiel stated.

"Yeah. I guess we are." Dean replied with as much nonchalance as Castiel had. And that was the end of that conversation.

Castiel knew he wasn't, his brothers and him could drink a whole liquor store before they could be classified as drunk. He just needed an excuse for the burning desire that had situated itself in his gut so he could soothe the guilty feeling in his heart. He didn't like D, not like that, no matter what his body was trying to tell him that night. He could lead him on; he owed his best friend more than that.

After that they had laid there in silence, wrapped in each other's arms and listening to the lyrics of song after song as they played softly through the speakers. Castiel felt himself nodding off and he very well might have fallen asleep in his best friend's arms if D hadn't spoken.

"This car was my dad's, you know?" Castiel had hummed noncommittally. "He passed away last year." The raven haired teen had propped himself up at this, hands on either side of D's face and staring straight into each other's eyes again.

"Is that so…?" Castiel didn't really know what to say. He'd seen people in movies say they were sorry after someone's death was mentioned, maybe he should say that. "I'm…sorry?"

D smiled sadly and shook his head. "Don't try to be someone else, C. I'm talking to you about this, not them. Just be yourself because that's what I love you for."

Castiel dropped his head back to D's chest as he started pouring his heart out to him. Castiel had always known D treated the 1967 chevy impala like his own baby, but he'd never known it was because it was his last connection to his dad and his childhood where everything was so much better. When D had looked up to his father like he was the greatest being in the world and his little brother had looked up to him that very same way. Before his father had become a workaholic and never saw his sons. Before S and his father had grown cold. Before D had to take over as a father figure to his little brother and raise him like his own.

It was so like Castiel's own story that he felt himself tear up, dabbing at his moist eyes through the eyeholes in his mask. His father too had neglected his sons for work, and, without a mother, Michael had to raise them all by himself. Lucifer had grown to hate their father out of spite and Michael too who so determinedly protected their father's reputation. Even Gabriel had grown cold for a while, he had run away and lived God knows where for a few months before he had shown up on the brothers' doorstep again one night and he hadn't let Castiel out of his grip all evening.

Castiel wanted to kiss D again but stopped himself.

They drove back to the club in silence where Gabriel was wearing a hole into the pavement outside the door from pacing so much. When he'd seen Castiel he'd wrapped his arms tight around his younger brother's torso and glared daggers at D before he'd returned to his car and drove off into the night.

His brothers hadn't wavered in their attentions to him for the rest of night, smoothing his hair back and telling him how worried they had been and to never ever disappear like that again.

\-- 

Castiel blinked rapidly as he realised he'd zoned out. Drawing his eyes back to the laptop screen he saw that he hadn't replied in nearly fifteen minutes and D had left the conversation. He typed a short apology that D would get when he signed in again and grabbed his maths textbook off the desk to study on his bed.

Soft yapping and scratching at the door drew Castiel's attention away from his text book. Begrudgingly he rolled out of the comfortable groove he had made on the covers and padded over to the door, swinging it open widely. The Jack Russell puppy instantly flew inside the moment the door opened enough for him to squeeze through the gap. The dog jumped and ran around in circles excitedly, releasing ugly noises a mix between a snort and a whine. Castiel chuckled and grabbed a hot pink leash off a side table next to the door and beckoned the little ball of fluffy energy over.

"C'mon boy, let's go for a walk." He'd been working for an hour and could use the break.

Fenrir (1) was Gabriel's dog but Castiel took care of him most of the time. He was as lazy as his owner and as clumsy as Castiel.

He was as round as a balloon; too fat and with too short legs to walk even remotely graceful. He moved with a mix of a gallop and a slide as he bounded over to Castiel.

Gabriel loved his dog and often overfed him with treats but was far too lazy to otherwise take care of him, Michael always spoiled everyone rotten in this messed up little family they had (with the exception of Lucifer) but was too busy to walk the poor thing, and Lucifer hated Fenrir's guts after the puppy decided his bedroom was the perfect toilet on the first week. This, of course, means that Fenrir got far too much food and no one to walk him except for Cass. So despite him being Gabriel's pet, it was Castiel who would walk, wash and take care of the mutt whilst fighting off Luci's sabotage attempts.

The teen clipped the leash onto the loop in his collar and guided him downstairs, calling out to his brothers to say where he went.

They'd been out walking for half an hour when Castiel had been distracted by a group of four bees, gracefully flying around a flowering bush. The petals of which beginning to die out as the weather crept towards autumn and winter, not surprising as it was October already. He sat on the wilting grass, studying the bees buzz around, oblivious to their observer, just as Castiel was oblivious to the figure that came up behind him.

"I was right, it was you, Castiel! You didn't answer so I thought I might have been wrong."

The raven haired teen jumped at the sudden greeting. "D-Dean?"

"Uh, yeah, 'C-Cass'…" The teen teasingly said his name with a smug smirk on his face, or at least he did as far as Castiel could see. Dean was towering over him where he sat and the light shining behind his head casted shadows over his face.

Castiel pulled himself up off the ground so quick Dean stared at him, both surprised and impressed. "What are you doing around here?"

"Um…I live around here. You know that."

Castiel wanted to smash his head against the floor. Of course he did, he always saw Mary Winchester, and recently Sam, at church every Sunday. He'd even gone over for pie with Michael once before. He cursed himself for being so airheaded.

He had obviously been out running. Despite its size the oversized shirt he was wearing was clinging to his chest in a way so pleasantly attractive Castiel had to avert his eyes but there wasn't a single inch of the athletic teen that didn't turn Castiel into a salivating mess. Golden brown hair moistened by sweat and Castiel watched silently as a droplet ran down Dean's neck, lost under his collar, and he had to bite his lip to stop him from squeaking. Perplexed green eyes examined Castiel thoroughly and once again the teen had to cover his mouth to prevent himself from letting out any embarrassing noises.

Castiel felt really self-conscious all of a sudden in his too-tight shirt that he'd grown out years ago that a worn childish 'Felix the Cat' logo and a pair of baggy old sweatpants.

"Cass, you okay man?" Dean reached a hand out with a worried expression

Castiel nodded his head rapidly and shied away from the touch, he didn't think he could handle the contact at that moment.

Dean dropped his hand slowly and furrowed his brows in contemplation. "Look…I know you don't like me but-" Castiel grimaced, it wasn't like that, quite the opposite, "Sammy really wants us to be friends and, hey, I think you're a pretty cool guy too…weird…but cool. You've been really helpful in class, not that I'd ever tell Sammy that…and I don't mind talking to you."

Not really knowing how to react to this, Castiel timidly rubbed his arm and mumbled a "Thank you."

Pale lips perked up in a small but affectionate smile. "I know I don't really have a way with words but I really wanted to explain to you that I don't hate you, it's just…I gotta act that way, you know?"

"I'm afraid I don't…"

Dean rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well…people look up to me, they think I'm cool and want to be like me and…I like that feeling Cass, I really do…and I really don't want to lose that."

"And you'll lose it by being nice to me in public." Castiel stated, it wasn't a question, he knew the reason.

Brows furrowed in what looked like pain. "No! Well…yes, but…"

"I understand, Dean." Castiel willed his voice to be calm, comforting, understanding. "I'm a freak."

Dean gripped Castiel's shoulders with his rough, strong hands. It was one of the few times Dean had ever really touched him and Castiel felt himself startle. "You are not a freak!"

"Yes, I am. I know I am. You do too, you told me the other day."

"I was lying, Cass!" Dean pulled his hand through his cropped hair roughly. "If you're a freak than I'm a lunatic." Castiel furrowed his brows, puzzled by Dean's pronouncement. "You know I believe in monsters?"

Castiel smiled jovially and snickered. "Aren't you a little old for that, Dean?"

"I know, right! Sammy's been teasing me about it for years but I secretly think he's the same." Dean whispered conspiratorially. "It's why I started training."

"Training?"

"Yeah, shooting, martial arts, knife fighting, etcetera." Hand waving in a noncommittal gesture. "My Uncle Bobby has been helping me study lore too. God knows how many books I've read. Vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, ghosts. You name it: I can kill it."

Castiel snorted. "Alright, tough guy, I believe you."

It was very easy to imagine Dean with floppy ears and a rapidly wagging tail at that point. It was so cute and puppy-like that Castiel wanted to coo at him. Then he shivered because it reminded him so much of his brothers around him. Maybe this over-affection thing ran in the family. "You're awesome, Cass! I mean it."

In any usual situation, Castiel would freeze, blush a little, and turn into an illiterate mess on the floor at a compliment like that, especially with someone he was attracted to, but for some reason he could relax around Dean. He actually felt comfortable and relatively normal at this. Hell, he even felt like maybe he could try out some of the flirting techniques Gabriel had been teaching him occasionally ever since he found out about Castiel's little crush.

Of course, nothing ever worked out the way he planned. Fenrir, who had seen caught sight of another dog in the distance, chose this moment to bolt off, pulling Cass with him.

Castiel squeaked in alarm as he was yanked by Fenrir's lead and dragged off away from Dean. He tried to regain control and pull the dog back but Fenrir was too strong and Cass too weak. He stumbled on his clumsy feet and was yanked forward again. This time Castiel couldn't keep his balance and landed hard on the ground, skidding almost a metre on the concrete.

"CASS!" Dean came rushing over. Castiel groaned in embarrassment. He wanted to shove his face into the ground more and be eaten up by the cement. Of course he couldn't have a nice interaction with Dean; of course it was too good to be true. For a moment there Castiel forgot the universe hated him. "Hey, you okay, man? Say something?" Dean's deep voice was clearly worried.

"No, Cass. You can't be normal, Cass. You gotta be humiliated 24/7, Cass. Fuck, I hate my life." Castiel mumbled to himself, forgetting Dean was there. His lips were pressed against the ground and the movement caught dust and pebbles on his lips and he propped himself up to cough in an attempt to blow them away.

He was brought back to reality by the sound of the melodic, cheerful laughter beside him. At the sight of Dean, Cass blushed more and groaned at his misfortune.

Dean propped a hand on Castiel's back as he attempted to reel in his chuckles. "You're one hell of a laugh, Cass." His smile was so sincere, so content, and so bright that Castiel wanted to shield his eyes. "C'mon, let's get you off the ground."

Before Castiel knew it strong hands were pulling him off the ground. He wobbled slightly and leant on Dean for support as the larger teen gently brushed dust off his front. He kept on shaking so Dean subtly hinted for Cass to lean further into him. "Thank you, Dean." Castiel mumbled into Dean's t-shirt.

Dean turned his head slowly towards Castiel. The raven haired teen's face was still tucked into Dean's shoulder but was turned enough so that a single bright blue eye could peek out at the other. Much to Dean's surprise, he felt his face heating up at the innocent gaze and he stuttered his next line out. "H-here, I'll go grab your dog, j-just wait here." Dean propped Cass up against the nearest tree and ran off after the escaped Jack Russell that was terrorising a pair of tween girls. Both boys let out a sigh of relief at an escape from the awkward, strangely attractive situation.

When Dean returned with a flailing dog in his arms, its dirty feet kicking and scratching his tan face, Castiel couldn't help but grin.

And when he invited the awkward teen to join Sam and him in a basketball game an hour later, Castiel, of course, agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Get it…Fenrir…? Cos Gabriel "ran off and joined the pagans" and became Loki, right. In Norse mythology Loki has this one son…child…thing…(more like a small army of weird children) called Fenrir who's a wolf and is destined to kill Odin or something… Yeah, so I thought…why not make Gabriel's Jack Russell Fenrir?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of the angels appearing today so I made up this to hopefully confuse you less.
> 
> The ages of angel family kids are basically this:
> 
> Michael Novak (27), Raphael Novak (26), Lucifer Novak (25), Uriel Novak (25), Gabriel Novak (20), Balthazar Roche (18), Anna Milton (17 - twin), Inias Milton (17 – twin), Castiel Novak (17).
> 
> Not a lot of dialogue and a pretty uneventful chapter but I hope you like it anyway.

D:u wanna meet up soon?

C: D, I've told you this before; I am not going to reveal myself to you.

D: calm down moody. i meant at the ii, theyre open now and we don't always have 2 go at night, you know

C:It's Sunday morning.

D: So?

C: So, I have church.

D: Pfft, who gives a crap. u could be basking in the great pleasure of my company

…

C?

Hey man, you haven't replied in a few minutes

C: The impala is the ugliest thing I have ever laid eyes on.

D: Dude! What the actual fuck?!

C: I sincerely hope you crash it into a ditch and it becomes so beyond repair that I will never have to lay eyes on that piece of junk ever again.

D: You're horrible!

What the hell crawled up ur ass?

C: You did.

D: I wish ;)

C: In a metaphorical sense, you assbutt.

D: I'll take what I can get. If that's metaphorically giving u the time of ur life, so be it.

But seriously, why the impala-slander?

What did my baby ever do to you?

C: It's not your baby that's at fault here, its owner is just the biggest asshole on the planet.

D: Ouch

C: You do not insult my beliefs or I will insult your baby. Are we clear?

D: As a bell. Sorry.

C: Reluctantly forgiven.

One more time and I will knock you unconscious with a bible.

D: Isn't that kinda blasphemous?

C: …

The impala looks like a blind folded four year old's botched up attempt at art.

A mere glimpse of it makes me want to spew.

D: Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!

\-- 

Michael went to church every Sunday. He didn't force his brothers to join him, especially after some old lady had attempted to beat Luci's head in when she had found out what his name was. Castiel would have happily joined Michael if he wasn't so cripplingly shy or if the congregation didn't want to pinch his cheeks, tell him how beautiful his big, angelic, blue eyes were and offer him dry, probably week old biscuits every five seconds. Even so, Michael always put on this helpless puppy dog eyes expression that made Castiel and Gabriel's will crumple and they usually tagged along with him.

Castiel always noted on his brothers' expressive faces and on many occasions he attempted to copy their expressions but he always fell short. Although he thought he'd gotten pretty good at the puppy dog eyes, but he'd only ever tested them on his brothers or D who he thought was a bit of a bias audience.

Castiel probably would have gone to church anyway and forced himself to sit through the undesired social contact, either that or he'd stay at home in quiet worship for a short while. Both he and Gabriel were Christian but it was really only Michael who was seriously religious. Lucifer was far out of the question. The rest of the family made up for their lack of religious vigour. Michael and all his cousins, aunts and uncles, with the exception of Anna and Balthazar, were so strictly religious it actually scared Castiel. They got a bit obsessive at times.

What kind of family names an entire generation of their children after angels?

Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel and Castiel were enough to be considered odd but it just kept going from there. Their father's younger brother had one child, Balthazar, an illegitimate child he had with his old British girlfriend. Balthazar had lived with his mother until he was thirteen and came as a surprise on their uncle's doorstep. The family hadn't been too pleased with that but Balthazar had quickly gotten close to Castiel in the short five years he'd been with them. Castiel's father had an older sister with two twin children: Anna (a nickname for Anael) and Inias. Castiel's other uncle and the eldest of his father's generation was Zachariah who had two adopted children: Raphael and Uriel since he never married but always wanted children of his own. He claimed it was because he was not a romantic type but Gabriel often joked it was because he was so dislikeable no one would stay with him.

Castiel disliked Zachariah's side of the family. Raphael and he hated each other's guts for some reason that they had forgotten a long time ago. Uriel and Cass had been friends all their early life, Uriel was Lucifer's age and the three were almost inseparable, but when Lucifer had started his war against their father, Uriel had sided with the rebellious blond. Castiel had to make a choice between the rest of his family or Luci and Uriel. Let's just say Uriel was less than pleased with his choice.

As Castiel entered the church, staying strictly a few metres behind where Gabriel and Michael were talking animatedly, he was tackled by a flash of red.

"Cassie! It's been so long!" Anna greeted him excitedly. She, Inias and their parents had been overseas for the past month and Castiel had barely talked to them in that time.

He hugged Anna tightly as her twin padded over quietly. "Castiel?" The timid youth smiled contently at Castiel. If either of them were more extroverted they may have hugged too, instead they gave each other a brief nod and a smile and that was more than enough. "You look…happy, Cass. Happier than I've seen you in a long time."

Castiel smiled at this as Anna begun inspecting him, grabbing his chin and manoeuvring his face side to side. "You're right, what happened Cass? Why're you all sunshine today?"

"He's got a booooooyfriend!" Gabriel commented in a sing-song voice as he popped up out of nowhere in typical Novak fashion.

Anna squealed in delight. "That's wonderful, Cass! Who is it? Do I know him?"

"It's not like that, Anna!" In all honesty Castiel didn't know if Gabriel was referring to Dean or D.

"Some Dean guy he goes to school with."

Anna blinked. "Dean? Like…Dean Winchester?"

"Yep, that's the one."

Anna raised her eyebrows and stuck out he lips, caught between shocked, impressed and worried. "Well that's interesting."

Castiel made sure to ask her about it later. Turns out Anna had been dating Dean for a short while last year but had broken up because he had fallen for someone else or something along those lines. She said he was a really nice guy deep down, once you get past all the external bullshit he puts on for show. Anna clicked her tongue and swore she thought he was a straight as they come.

Raphael had roughly interrupted them with a strong nudge of his elbow, gabbing deep into Castiel's ribs. The blow had winded the youngest of all the cousins and had sent him toppling right into Anna's arms. Michael, who had witnessed the interaction, practically ripped Raphael to pieces at that. Raphael was only a year younger than the oldest child but cowered like a baby under Michael's anger.

For some reason Michael always had a certain influence in their family that was rivalled by none. Even their aunts and uncles seemed to bow their heads to Michael. All their cousins looked up to him and followed his orders, with the exception of Anna, Castiel, Lucifer and, on some occasions, Balthazar. Sometimes the adults would refer to these four as the fallen angels due to their more rebellious than usual nature. Castiel had no doubt Lucifer was a huge cause for this.

Castiel kept an eye out for Sam and Mary Winchester, who were frequent church goers, but neither appeared that morning. Gabriel noticed his concern and pointed it out.

"No Winchesters today, huh?" He whispered to Cass during the middle of a hymn as the cerulean eyed angel scanned the hall. Michael glared at his youngest brothers but kept singing.

"Castiel shook his head and let his hand entwine with Gabriel's own. "No, there isn't."

"If you're that worried we could go around later." Gabriel gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "How about we bring some of that cake you and Luci made yesterday?" Castiel nodded.

When they had gotten home Castiel had diligently boxed up the uneaten cake as he listened in on Michael and Lucifer arguing in the living room, their yelling floated through the halls and to reached Castiel's ears in the kitchen with little strain. They didn't exactly have a volume button. Apparently Lucifer hadn't come home last night. Michael was lecturing him about responsibility and Luci was raging at him that he was an adult now and Michael should stop trying to be their mother all the time.

Gabriel and Castiel had snuck out quickly, not too eager to be in the line of fire but Castiel knew the shortest of the brothers would be home soon to make sure the oldest two didn't kill each other.

Last time they'd fought they had smashed the TV among other things. The two youngest shared the horrific memory of coming home to find shattered glass, china, and shards of wood everywhere in the chaotic aftermath of their fight. Michael and Lucifer were rolling on the floor in the living room, trying to bash the other's face in or rip their throats out. It had taken an intercepted right hook gone wrong for them to stop. Gabriel wouldn't stop complaining all week about the black eye he accidentally received from Michael.

Gabriel drove Castiel to the Winchester's home, barely a three minute drive away and had dropped him on the foot path. "Give me a call if you need anything!"

Castiel nodded and waved his brother off enthusiastically before he strolled up the blossoming path to the front door.

\-- 

Sam's POV

Sam prided himself on being very observant. He liked sitting on the sidelines and just watching people. You'd be surprised how much people can give away when they think no one's listening in on their conversations. But it was the unspoken things Sam most loved finding.

He knew the lonely sixty year old with a lazy eye who lived a few doors down snuck out around 1am every Wednesday, spilling people's garbage around their lawns and blaming it on racoons (which hadn't been seen around here for years, mind you). He knew his mother had been seeing another man for the past three weeks. It was nothing serious, Sam knew, she still loved their father too much, she just needed the company and Sam understood that but if it were Dean he would explode so he kept it quiet. He knew the thirteen year old ballet obsessed girl next door had developed on major crush on his brother. He knew the thirteen year old ballet obsessed girl next door had developed on major crush on his brother.

He knew his brother had fallen in love with another guy at the masquerade club Sam had dragged him to barely six months ago and, thanks to his mother's insistence on bringing them to church, he knew the identity of this mystery boy.

Mary Winchester was perfect, or her sons believed so anyway. She was compassionate, generous and hard working. Every Saturday she baked half a dozen of her famous apple pies to give to the homeless shelter downtown. She often volunteered at their local church or retirement home. She always helped her boys whenever they needed anything and was the best role model anyone could ask for. And she did all of this while juggling the two jobs she had gotten ever since their father died and money had become tight.

Mary also dutifully went to church every Sunday. She never tried to force religion down her son's throats to which they were both extremely grateful for, but she did encourage them to join her. One Sunday, about a month or two ago, Sam had caved and gone with her although it was mainly because she had hurt her back at work and he wanted to help out in any way he could.

So when he'd seen Castiel Novak there, wearing the same trench coat C always wore, with the same body language and features C had, and with the name of an angel just like Dean had told him C and his brothers had, Sam knew what he'd stumbled upon.

They had met once or twice before this, just the odd interaction in the library or a polite nod as they passed each other in the halls. He was a nice enough guy and Sam had endeavoured to talk to him more. He liked the guy, he honestly did. He was weird and talking to him made you feel like you were going to grow a hernia but he had one of the most genuinely kind and sincere hearts Sam had ever seen.

And, of course, with such scrutiny of the older teen Sam had found out Cass had feelings for Dean too.

Dean loved Cass, whether he knew it or not, and Sam could tell C held similar feelings, whether he knew it either. He wanted his brother to be happy and if that meant being with Castiel, so be it.

So it was no surprise that Sam decided to become their personal little Cupid.

Sam had no idea how Dean hadn't figured it out yet. You'd think you'd notice if you passed by the love of your life every day, if you sat next to them five days a week. Even Sam's constant hinting hadn't helped.

The youngest Winchester had come home one day to find his older brother had hijacked his laptop and fifteen tabs were open to various websites on angels. Much teasing had followed; they wouldn't be Winchesters without it. After fighting through the bashful hesitation, Dean reluctantly admitted he was looking for C's real name and had asked Sam if he knew anybody who was named after angels.

Sam had blatantly listed the angels for each day of the week and Dean still had no clue towards the identity of his mystery angel. You'd think he would link Cassiel, the angel, to Castiel, the classmate with whom he'd been in the same grade as all of high school.

So Sam had snuck random snippets of information into conversation with Dean. Emphasising any link he made to Cass. He had even once straight up told Dean about the Novak family and alluded to the odd personality of the youngest brother, Castiel, in Dean's grade since forever, c'mon Dean. Still nothing.

He had asked Castiel to sit with Dean in class in the hopes that one of them would realise the other's identity.

He had suggested a new jogging route for Dean that he knew Cass walked along.

Hell, the youngest Novak had even visited the Winchester household when Mary had been too tired to attend church, dressed in attire Sam had previously seen on C and his brother still hadn't made the connection. Sam was beginning to think there was actually something wrong with Dean, nope, turns out his brother could just be an oblivious idiot for selective things.

Sam's long-term girlfriend, Jess, was staying over that day. She practically lived at the Winchester house now. Her mother was a nurse who worked the night shifts and her father was a successful, but perpetually working, businessman. This of course meant that either no one was home or no one was awake at the Moor household. It got lonely, and the Winchesters were the exact cure for loneliness.

She was here so often that Dean even begun to treat her a bit like his own sister. They had a habit of that…accepting unrelated people as family members: Uncle Bobby as their surrogate father, Jess and Jo as sisters, Ellen as their aunt. The list went on.

Dean had even confided the whole C situation to Jess. It seemed like Dean and Castiel were the only idiots around here because Sam and Jess and pretty much anyone who had heard about their relationship knew who each member was. It was only the two members themselves who were oblivious to it.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing, Jess? Not telling Dean straight up."

The pretty blonde smiled and tucked a lock of Sam's long brown locks behind his ear. "Yes," she planted a light kiss on his cheek, "telling him won't help him in the end. He should find out for himself. Giving him a bit of a push is a given though."

"You know it." Sam chuckled and kissed his girlfriend solidly on the lips.

"Ugh, I think I'm going to barf." Dean's voice carried from the open doorway. "Not in the kitchen, please!" He shielded his eyes as if the sight of his younger brother's romantic life would somehow physically harm him.

Sam stuck out his tongue. "Well maybe if you manned up and got together with C, you'd be the one smooching in the kitchen while we over-react and freak out over nothing."

Dean blushed at Sam's suggestion and threw a jelly bean at his brother. "It's more that I'm freaked out over how much hair is in this relationship. Doesn't it get too hot under all that fur?" He stuck his tongue out. "Jess, what happens when Sammy gets fleas?"

Jess giggled cutely at Dean's teasing. "I guess I've always liked giant shag carpets, we've got one in the den."

Her boyfriend stared at her aghast and in mock hurt. "You're going to skin me and turn me into a carpet?"

"Only if you've been bad." Jess cradled Sam's cheeks and nuzzled their noses together.

"Yep, definitely going to spew. Get outta here, you crazy kids."

Sam plucked the jelly bean off of his lap where it had landed and popped it into his mouth. "C'mon Jess," he beckoned between chews, "let's go to where all the civilised people are."

As they were leaving, Sam spun around to tell Dean one last pronouncement. "Oh, an Dean," the oldest turned his head slowly, "Castiel's in the living room." Sam winked at him and Jess giggled more as they slunk away from Dean's blushing, flustered form.

"I-it's not like that!" He yelled after them but still moved swiftly into the living room, eager to see Cass again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the next chapter were originally together but it got too long so I had to chop it. I promise Dean's POV all of next chapter though. Oh, and…I can't believe I'm actually writing this, but…a love triangle between Dean, Cass and Cass. XD Yay for secret identities and how they can lead to really fucked up situations like that.
> 
> I really just want to write an entire chapter dedicated solely to the angel brothers…or maybe an extra side story for drabbles. I dunno, tell me what you think. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV for the first time. There will be much more in later chapters.

Dean crept to the doorway and watched in silence as the gorgeous enigma chatted bashfully to his mother as she cooed at how adorable he was. Sam sat next to Castiel and Jess next to Mary. They were laughing at something said in conversation. Castiel looked frightened as what Dean assumed to be his usually dormant social anxiety flared up again. Cold sweat was dripping down his neck, he was tense and his breaths were too shallow. The fact that Dean could see all this from where he stood metres away wasn't a good sign. He wondered how the hell his family and Jess didn't notice it.

Dean really didn't want to go in there, he had hoped he could ignore them and run up to his room, but now he had to. He sighed; Dean had been avoiding thinking about Castiel since the day before. The way his smaller frame tucked so perfectly against his chest or the way those startlingly blue eyes stared into his soul with a profound innocence had haunted his mind ever since.

He hated this. He knew what it meant and he hated it.

Reluctantly, Dean admitted he was developing a crush of Castiel and it made him feel like shit because…hell, it was C he loved and he wasn't going to betray that because of some new found attraction to Castiel. The only comfort he got was strictly reminding himself it was only because Castiel reminded him so much of C…which was a hell of a lot…

If Dean was completely honest with himself, he would have admitted he liked sharing the odd teen's company ages ago. He wasn't half bad. Castiel was funny in the weird little way only he and C shared; he was adorable and fiercely determined to help Dean through his last year of physics.

Dean calmed his beating heart and slowed his breath. He could do this. He could ignore these feelings, go out there and act normal and eventually they would go away.

When Dean had calmed himself enough to look up he caught his brother smirking at him in that infuriatingly smug way that suggested he knew something Dean didn't. Dean flipped him the bird before he joined them in the living room.

Castiel had only lifted his eyes shortly to look at Dean as he entered the room and had returned his eyes to the untouched slice of cake on his lap. Dean willed his expression not to show just how disappointed this made him. He wanted that cerulean gaze stuck on him. Once again Dean cursed internally; here he was getting possessive over what he didn't even have. Sam had instantly jumped up and shoved his way between Mary and Jess for a seat on the other couch. Dean didn't think it was necessary but was thankful for the opportunity and silent offer to sit next to Cass.

No, no he wasn't. Dammit. He was supposed to be getting over this stupid attraction, not encouraging it. He smacked a fist lightly against his forehead causing the rest of the room to jump.

"Dean, baby, is everything okay?" Mary asked with a voice laced in worry.

Dean nodded his head a little too thoroughly. "Y-yeah, mum, I'm fine."

Mary studied him quizzically. "Well, Dean, we have a guest over." She gestured her hand towards Castiel and raised her eyebrows expectantly, signalling he greet the other teen.

"Yeah…um, hi, Cass."

"Good morning, Dean." Castiel's voice came out too soft and forced as he readjusted the hands in his lap.

Out of the corner of his eye Dean saw Jess jab Sam in the side and smirk, then, as if in a train, his brother jabbed their mother softly. Mary and Sam seemed to have a conversation without words then Mary gave a stunned expression and pointed at Castiel and mouthed the words 'him?' When they saw Dean looking at them with quirked eyebrows in silent question at their odd behaviour they all shrugged their shoulders and gave him clearly guilty, clearly hiding something expressions. Assholes.

Dean utilised the awkward moment of silence to sit down next to Cass and willed himself not to edge closer. The smaller teen shuffled awkwardly on the spot.

They spent the next ten minutes in polite conversation about nothing in particular, gently coaxing short sentences out of Castiel. Mary explained why she was absent at church that morning and Dean finally understood the reason for Castiel's visit. Dean had tried to start a conversation with Castiel about his church, hoping to help the other boy ease up a bit but Castiel seemed almost determinedly stiff. It was only then that Dean realised just how uncomfortable Cass was.

Castiel didn't like this. He didn't like it one bit. He was used to routine. Going to school throughout the week, seeing D on Fridays, going to the church on Sundays and having the Novak family's Sunday dinner. Repeat. This? This wasn't routine. It was unusual and Castiel was being forced into a social situation he did not like nor was prepared for and he would much rather be at home.

He hadn't expected this many people, just Mary and maybe Sam or Dean, so having all four other people in the room with their attention entirely on him was scaring him. He could feel all their eyes on him. It felt like they were judging his every move and he just wanted to crawl up in a ball and block it all out of jump out of his seat and run back home. He hated it.

"Cass, you alright?" Dean rested his hand on Castiel's shoulder, rubbing his thumb along his collarbone in what he had hoped to be a reassuring gesture but had only succeeded in making Castiel shiver and clench up more.

Dean cursed his momentary idiocy. He knew how to handle social anxiety, Sam used to have a mild case when he was younger, so he knew that bringing everyone's attention to just how uncomfortable Castiel was in that moment was not the best option. "Okay, what do you need, Cass?" Castiel was silent; he pulled his knees up to his chest and clenched his face as if in pain, trying to hide his expression under hair and behind knees. "Do you want to come with me to someplace quieter? Somewhere to just talk?"

Castiel nodded and shakily got to his feet. He saw Jess and his mother getting to their feet to help but he shook his head and Sam gestured for them all to leave. Dean took Castiel's shaking hand and led him upstairs to Dean's bedroom.

Dean managed to get Castiel to forgo the will of his stiff knees and sit on the edge of Dean's bed. After a few minutes of short, shallow breaths and shivering, Castiel managed to calm down enough to speak. "I-I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?"

"S-sorry, that was…I…sorry I acted like that. I-I made a big deal out of it and now everyone's uncomfortable." Castiel stuttered out, his usually composed voice laced with panic and worry.

"No, no, don't worry about it, Cass." Dean shook his head lightly and leant against his door, trying to appear as calm and relaxed as possible. The last thing he needed was for his worry to show and magnify Castiel's.

"No, I…that wasn't me…w-well, it was me but…I mean…" Castiel scrubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands. "I-I don't usually act like that…I was getting better…Gabriel told me I was getting better…they all did…" he was getting panicky again and he kept looking at Dean in absolute terror as he feared Dean would mock and ridicule him. Shaky fingers started to tear at raven locks as his panic reared its ugly head. "I-I…Michael's going to be so disappointed and t-they're all going to-"

"Cass, take a breath and say it slowly."

Castiel was tense, shoulders raised and clenched and he was perched at the very edge of his bed as if he was about to spread wings and take flight. "I-I should go."

"Cass." Dean stopped him with a stern voice but smiled gently to try and lessen its intensity. "Don't worry about it, you're doing great. Let's just talk, okay?"

Castiel smiled relatively calmly to which Dean was very grateful for, he could feel a warmth flood his chest that was all too familiar but had yet to be directed at Castiel. Dean cursed himself again, this was probably the most counterproductive action to prevent himself from falling for Castiel.

"I would like that." Castiel's soft voice dragged him back to reality. "Thank you, Dean."

Dean lazily gave Castiel a mock two-fingered salute. "Just doing my sworn duty, officer." He slid to the floor with a thump and leant back against the wall opposite where Castiel was sitting, hoping the new height difference would be less intimidating. "So, what's on your mind?"

"What's on my mind?" Castiel seemed pretty startled by the question and Dean nodded. He was still pretty shaken up but looked a lot calmer now. "Well, what's on my mind is that I just had a full on panic attack in your living room and my brothers' are going to be so disappointed and you probably think I'm even a bigger freak than usual and my cake and your mum's pie are both downstairs and will go off if not refrigerated soon."

Dean's eyes bugged comically. "There was pie?"

Castiel chuckled into his hand. "Your lack of enthusiasm towards my cake does little to cheer me up, Dean."

Dean waved his hand in dismissal. "No offence, Cass. I'm sure your cake's pretty swell and all that but you don't know how I get around pie." He jokingly looked over his shoulders and raised a hand to his mouth conspiratorially, making Castiel smile and his eyes light up. "Cos I'm pretty sure my like for pie could be classified as illegal in at least three different states."

"Should I be scared?"

"You mean you're not already?" Dean stuck his tongue out.

Castiel leant back on the bed, propped up by his arms. "You know, for someone who's trying to calm me down, you sure are doing a good job of giving me more things to be worried about." It was said so casually that Dean knew it was entirely a joke and that Castiel was not, in fact, frightened that Dean would do indecent things to pastries in front of him.

The golden blond tilted his head back to let out a laugh. Damn, this kid was certainly growing on him, and he wasn't sure anymore if it was entirely a bad thing. "Don't worry, I'm not some creepy pie-o-phile…well that's not something you use in a sentence every day."

"Well, I'm not a pie so I assume that I'd be pretty safe if you were." Castiel's eyes moved to his socked feet that had been rubbing together for the past few minutes. He bit his bottom lip, soft pink flesh that was suddenly the centre of Dean's attention caught between pearly whites. Occasionally his eyes fluttered over to Dean under long lashes.

If Dean didn't know that Castiel was an oblivious, absent-minded, socially-awkward dork he'd have thought Castiel was flirting with him. Cass never realised just how seductive he could be just by sitting there…Dean couldn't help it when his mouth went dry and memories of C acting the same way flashed through his mind.

"Yeah…I suppose you would be." Dean replied dumbly. Damn it. So much for appearing really witty and cool. "W-well, I'm sure mum has put them in the fridge, she's real good with things like this."

Castiel smiled and muttered a soft 'that's good'. Dean wanted to scream into the pillow that was a few inches from Castiel's hip at his sudden inability to keep a conversation alive. His social skills were slowly falling to ruin around the other teen in a way they only ever had to C before. Cass was becoming the death of him.

"Hey, Cass?" The teen in question looked up and Dean momentarily lost his train of thought as he peered into those eternal cerulean eyes. "U-um…sorry for blocking you from leaving earlier. I didn't mean to be a total asshat."

"No, no!" Castiel extended his arms and shook hands in front of him as he blushed. "I needed to talk; it would have been detrimental if I just ran away from the situation again."

Dean nodded understandingly; Sam had been like that once too but had learnt to handle it over time. Hell, the brat wanted to become a lawyer now and that was probably the furthest from socially anxious you could get. "Do you want to head back downstairs or-"

"No!" Castiel shut him down instantly. "Sorry, that was rude." He apologised with bright red cheeks. "I meant…I would like to stay up here a while longer…with you."

The sudden jolt of warmth in his chest was so very, very welcome and alluring that Dean stopped questioning whether it was a good thing or not.

He spent the next half hour lying parallel to Castiel on top of his covers, staring at the ceiling and listening to the sound of each other's voices before Castiel got a phone call from his brother and ran off an urgent, panicking mess. Dean stayed put, lying on top of the covers and thought about the warm, deep tone of Castiel's voice and the way it got sort of fuzzy around the edges.

At 2:47 he decided to talk to C about his newfound little crush on Castiel in hopes his angel would rekindle Dean's love for him and burn away what stood in its path.

\-- 

(A/N: I'm lazy, you guys imagine that. Oooor, if I get a lot of reviews I may write it as an extra for next chapter. Pretty please. ;) )

C: It's cold.

D: Sending you all my virtual cuddles right now.

C: Thanks…I guess.

Why do they insist on making hospitals so uncomfortable? It seems pretty harmful in a place where healing is meant to be the main priority.

D: The people who design hospitals are sadists. It's why I'm a heal-at-home kind of guy.

U know what would warm u up right about now?

C: What?

D: Phone sex with urs truly. Gimme a ring.

C: …

Remind me to set wild dogs on you when I get back. Maybe I can borrow Crowley's.

D: We're getting a puppy? Aww, our lil baby.

…wait…does that make u my wife?

C: It makes you dead if you say another word.

D: U menopausal?

C: Why am I even friends with you? This seems totally counterproductive to my emotional growth.

D: Cos u love me.

So when r u getting back?

C: I'm not quite sure. My brothers haven't fought this bad in a long time, we're pretty lucking it wasn't too serious. There was only a broken nose, a broken arm, 2 broken ribs, a concussion, severe bruising and a couple of stab wounds.

D: holy crap. I really don't want to know what your idea of serious fighting is.

C: Yes, they have a tendency to fight intensely. Anyway, my other brother and I are trying to sort out arrangements for now. We also have to try and fix everything at home, the whole bottom floor is a mess. Tomorrow will be quite hectic but I believe most will be sorted by the afternoon.

D: u get to miss a day of school? Lucky!

C: I am not. There will be much work I will have to catch up on and there are exams I need to study for.

D: Of course u r. Home days are always awesome.

I've got double physics tomorrow and ever since my bro hired some nerd to stalk me the lessons have sucked.

…I'm understanding a lot more, though.

…and the little nerd gets quite cute and funny after a while.

And…

C: Yeah?

D: …it's the guy I mentioned earlier.

C: Oh.

The one you've got a mini crush on?

I say go for it. It'll stop you from chasing me around for once.

D: I said I was attracted to him. UR the one I love.

It's only because he reminds me so much of u anyway

C: Doesn't matter. If you're attracted to him you should court him.

D: I'm just going to ignore the fact that u used the word court.

So ur telling me to use some poor guy's feelings to get over u?

C: No, I just want you to be happy.

D: You'd make me happy.

C: We're not doing this now, D.

D: Yeah, yeah :P catch u later. Hope ur life gets back 2 normal soon

\-- 

Dean's Monday morning wasn't nearly as good as he had hoped after such a great weekend. Sam had cornered him in the kitchen as he tried to pour himself some cereal. He had held the box high above his head and Dean cursed his younger brother's unusual growth spurt that, for the first time in their lives, had left Sam taller than Dean.

"I saw the way you were with Cass yesterday, Dean." Sam had stated simply. No bullshit, no buttering up the words, no easing into the conversation. Just straight up accusations.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," Sam nudged Dean and smirked smugly, "no one would be that observant and worried about someone unless they really cared about them."

Dean had shoved his younger brother hard enough in his exposed side to leave a bruise. Sam had dropped the box and Dean tried and failed not to feel guilty for the rest of the day, he hated hurting his brother even if it was because he was being a massive prick.

Castiel hadn't turned up to school that day and Dean reluctantly admitted he missed the little nerd. Class just wasn't the same without that perpetual buzzing in his ear as the smaller teen tried so desperately to fulfil Sam's request. Dean had spent the whole double lesson twirling his pen around in his fingers and nibbling on the tip before it broke in his mouth and he'd been excused early to clean himself up. It had been really embarrassing and Dean was glad Castiel wasn't there to see.

This little crush he was developing on the weirdo was getting a little too strong. He loved C! He continually reminded himself. C liked Dean for who he really was he was sure Castiel only liked Dean for what he appeared to be. No one had ever accepted Dean's twisted up personality except for C and he couldn't trust Castiel to be the same.

But he admitted a threesome between him and the two very similar boys would be damn sexy. He couldn't fight the images of slender hips, gorgeous raven locks, pale as snow skin and bright blue eyes that assaulted his mind all day. The constant mental image of two of the most gorgeous people Dean had ever seen nipping at his skin, going down on him or writhing beneath him was enough to make him leave school a whole period early and take a long shower under cool jets of water as he got himself off.

The dual memory of both boys tucked into him tight in similar ways persistently plagued his mind.

C, ephemeral like a memory under the pale moon that perfect Friday night a few days ago. Bare chested and breathing into the crook of his neck, feathers from his mask tickling Dean's chin. The innocent touches were a million times more pleasurable than sex he'd had in the past had ever been. Emphasised by his emotions, Dean presumed. Dean was just glad C didn't notice the incredibly painful tent Dean had pitched in his pants.

Then there was Castiel, adorable and innocent as he snuggled closer to Dean for support that Saturday afternoon. Hiding his gorgeous face into Dean's skin and staring at him in an unintentionally sexy way that had Dean wanting nothing more than to kiss him.

Yep, Dean felt he might explode at the pure essence these two emitted.

It was driving him insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, guuuuuuys, you're both idiots. Stop trying to make this an unnecessarily complex love square and just fuck already!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got into a drawing mood and had to draw SPN fanart. Check it out on my tumblr art blog - the url is drownled-moonlight, or on my deviantART account - Kiaraz.

It had been a long week and it had barely even started. By the time Tuesday came around Castiel was exhausted. He had spent all of the previous day with Gabriel trying to clean up the aftermath of Michael and Lucifer's fight as well as ordering new items to replace what they couldn't salvage. The two oldest brothers' conflicts were infamous and fairly common but fights that were this intense and that escalated to such chaos didn't occur all too often, maybe two or three times a year. They always ended similarly, with Michael and Luci out of action for a few days and Gabriel and Castiel cleaning up after their mess. This time they needed to find alternate accommodation as well since the kitchen was also out of order and as much as Gabriel thrived on junk food and a sugary diet, Michael refused to let Castiel stay anywhere where he couldn't get three healthy meals a day. Castiel was sleeping in the spare bedroom at Anna and Inias' house and Gabriel was staying with his girlfriend, Kali, and Castiel felt himself smile quite sadistically at the prospect of the fiery woman forcing Gabriel to finally pull his weight.

The three youngest of the 'angels' - as the community so fondly called their family – had driven to school later than Castiel would have hoped but he was under their hospitality and he did not complain. After splitting up with Anna, Inias and Castiel had walked to their lockers together in companionable silence broken occasionally by Inias' quiet suggestions for evening plans. They had always gotten along well and Castiel was excited to spend time with who was probably his favourite cousin.

School passed relatively uneventfully. Cass only saw Dean once in the morning and when he tried to great him he was given a cold shoulder so cold he felt like his joints would freeze. He did, however, see Sam and the younger Winchester certainly gave him a warmer welcome.

"Mornin', Cass!" Sam clapped a hand over his shoulders.

"Good morning, Sam. It's good to see you again." Castiel greeted, dipping his head.

Sam smiled contently. "So…I noticed you weren't here yesterday. Dean noticed too, wouldn't stop asking if I'd seen you all day."

"Sam, I'd appreciate it if you did not lie to me," Castiel idly fingered the spine of one of his textbooks, "he clearly holds no such worry otherwise he would have expressed it earlier. Last time I checked, ignoring someone's greeting is not a caring gesture."

"Shows how much you know."

Icy blue eyes froze over as Cass glared at Sam. "What are you implying, Sam?"

"I'm implying that maybe things aren't always as they seemed on the surface." Sam winked. "Trust me, Dean cares about you a hell of a lot. So much so it's scary."

Castiel was silent for quite some time, not even bothering to appear occupied with something in his locker anymore. "I-I…I cannot let myself entertain such ideas…" His eyes raised to Sam's again and the younger boy was struck by how pure an ethereal they were and he knew instantly why Dean had fallen for these eyes. "…It hurts enough as is."

Sam relaxed against the locker next to Castiel, posture loose and boneless. Hazel green eyes observed Castiel with a mixture of curiosity and affection. "You really like him, don't you?"

They had talked on the odd occasion before about Cass' feelings for Dean and Castiel was beyond glad the younger boy was so accepting and alright with one of his friends having a crush on his brother. It may have only been just for Cass but he was all too happy to accept the kind gesture.

Pearly whites nibbled at Castiel's lower lip. "Yeah," He didn't even bother denying it anymore, "more so than before…"

"How so?" Sam asked sincerely but he honestly didn't sound too curious.

Cerulean eyes returned their focus to Sam. "I think I've fallen even farther for your brother. Before it was a…um…" Castiel stiffly raised his hands and air quoted awkwardly, "'puppy love'. They were feeble feelings, I can see that now, and I think they may have developed more. I just…I think I'm finally starting to understand this concept now…even if it's only a little bit."

Sam had the most shit-eating grin Castiel had even seen plastered on his face. "I'm sure your feelings are more reciprocated than you imagine. Give him a chance, I guarantee he's going to be glad of it."

Sam left quickly after that and Castiel's mind was bothered by his words for the whole day, even following him to when he met up with D that evening.

\-- 

Castiel had lost count of the number of times D had asked to meet for real, without the masks, and Castiel had rejected every single one. D respected Castiel's wishes and never took his mask off for which he was very grateful. If D questioned him as to why he would force himself to act all nervous and reply in his sweetest voice that he wasn't ready for that yet. D always crumbled under this method of attack.

The truth was much uglier.

Castiel was drawn to D from the first night they met. Castiel had taken to the masquerade concept like a bird to flight so as to improve his non-existent social skills and inability to form stable relationships so as to be able to cope with the world. Who knew an extrovert like D was the key? A deep connection had been forged between the two of them quickly. They had both been able to open up to each other in ways they would never be able to with anyone else. While they didn't exactly know each other, they had knowledge of each other no one else had been given access to. All of Castiel's other relationships were external, twisted by titles and appearances, but what he had with D was entirely internal, emotional, a bond between their true selves. However, after four months of meeting every Friday Castiel was beginning to doubt if this really was for the best.

True, he was better able to talk to others now than he had ever been able to in the past but he honestly felt that his relationship with D would ultimately be the ruin of him. D didn't feel real. If Castiel thought about it, he could only just untangle D from the products of his mind. D was a real person with real emotions and yet Castiel had trouble thinking of him as one and he hated himself for thinking it, but he honestly did not want to. Everything is so much simpler, so much more perfect when you hide behind a mask or run away from reality.

It was painful to admit that the one strong relationship that Castiel had been able to form on his own accord was being distorted by rose-tinted glasses. His fear of reality and desire for simplicity were turning D into a dream and it was just going to hurt him in the end.

So whenever D asked for them to take of the masks Castiel always said no all because he didn't want this perfect image he had conceived to shatter leaving him to face the harsh reality. It was cowardly and Castiel hated himself for it.

It was a Tuesday night and Castiel usually wasn't out this late but D had insisted they meet at the II and he had begged Gabriel to take them out. An hour into conversation D had brought up the elephant in the room and asked Castiel again.

"No."

"C, you know I'm not-"

"I said no."

D furrowed his brows and his emerald eyes scanned Castiel's face meticulously for an answer that was not there. "Why not?"

Castiel rubbed his lips together, trying to formulate his lie as a vague reply that would not offend D. "I am happy with what we have, there is no need for more and-"

"For you maybe." His rough voice cut Castiel off. "Somehow you might have missed this, C, but I love you. I don't know how I can explain that clearer. I don't know whether to scream it, or write it, or get it tattooed across my forehead because I don't know what it will take to get you understand just how true those words are." D winced as if in pain at something Castiel didn't know.

Castiel tugged his trench coat closer and adjusted the angel wings strapped to his back for the sake of having an excuse not to look at D because he didn't know if he could cope with the intensity of D's confession number God knows what. "I understand it."

"I don't think you do," D ground his teeth together; "this isn't like the stupid puppy crush you have on your guy."

Castiel blinked rapidly. "What? Don't bring him into the argument, he has nothing to do with-"

"He has everything to do with it! Can't you see that?" D pulled at his golden brown locks in exasperation. He dropped to the couch and rested his head in his hands, palms cupping his mask delicately and shielding his eyes even more. "Why him, C? Why not me? I've heard what you've told me about him so why do you like him if all he does is hurt you?"

Castiel sputtered. "H-he doesn't, D! I mean, sure, sometimes he's can be inconsiderate and mean but it's only because he's expected to act that way and-"

"Then that makes him a bad person, C, can't you-"

"Stop interrupting me!" Castiel snapped, standing up from where he was sitting and towering over D. A few heads turned but for the most part they were ignored.

D was wide eyed and slightly intimidated so when he responded with "sorry, go ahead" it was almost silently.

The introvert was so unfamiliar with the boisterous behaviour that he was uncomfortable, scared even, after his outburst. "He's a good guy, okay. Sure, he's prickly on the outside and tough but on the inside he's really soft." Cass collapsed on the couch next to D, a few inches away for comfort but close enough to convey the message that he wasn't angry at him. "He's only like that because it's all he has ever known and all anyone has ever told him to be. I want to be there for him, to tell him he doesn't have to be that way…but I can't do that. I-If I tried talking to him a year ago I probably would have fainted."

Castiel pulled his knees up to his chest and tucked his head into the gap, sitting on the sofa in a ball of nerves and awkwardness as Dean tried to comfort him by rubbing gentle circles into his back.

"C-"

"Deep down he's really great. He's loyal to a fault. He's compassionate and always protects those he cares about, hell even those he doesn't care about. I…he makes me happy. I…I can't really explain it…I just need you to trust me in my judgement. You're my closest friend, D, and I need you to stand behind me with this."

When Castiel drew his head up it was to a completely different sight than he had been expecting. He had expected an annoyed or jealous D, this was much worse. D just looked so…hopeless. So worn out. So tired. Then he spoke and it was clear just how much D's unrequited feelings were taking their toll on him. It made Cass' heart twist uncomfortably in his chest and he just wanted to hold onto the other boy that had given his life new meaning and kiss away the pain.

"Tell me, C…what has he done for you that I haven't?"

Castiel was absolutely speechless at D's audacity but the more he thought about it, the more he realised D was right.

"You know what I think, C? I think you like him and not me because he has a face." Castiel quirked his head in a confused manner. "Because to you he's real, he's there and I'm not. To you I'm just D, just a mask, just an im name. Not even human."

Castiel shook his head vigorously. "D, it's not like that-" He was lying to himself now.

"Of course it is! You don't see me as human. If you did you'd actually give a shit about me!" Dean scrubbed his eyes frantically and balled his hands into fists. "You don't see our relationship as real, like it's some dream, and this guy's the only reality because you're so willing to accept everything as such. Well, my feelings are real, C, and the pain you're causing me by stomping all over them and ripping them to shreds…well, that's real too." He bit his own lip to prevent himself from going any further.

Castiel felt his eyes growing moist, shaking his head and blinking in an attempt to will the tears away. He hated that D was degrading himself like this. He hated the way that everything he was saying held some truth even if Castiel would still lie to himself afterward. He hated the way it only further emphasised just how ugly and cruel Castiel's own heart was. "What are you saying this, D? Why are you saying all these horrible things?"

"Because someone needs to."

"No, no one does because they're not true!" Castiel tried to grab D's shoulders but the latter shoved him off. "Don't you have any sense of self-worth?"

"It's true, deep down. We both know it so don't insult me by pretending otherwise." Dean's expression morphed into one of pain, reluctance and restraint. "You've got two options here and your mind is making you only see one."

He started to move away from Castiel, towards the door and Castiel knew he had to stop him. "D, please!" He jumped after D but at the sight of his emerald glare he froze to the spot.

"You've been good to me, C. These past few months…I'll cherish them forever but I don't think I can handle any more. I don't think I can be around you any longer without breaking. I hope you find happiness with this crush of yours." His voice was but a whisper and held no menace and that, more than anything, hurt Castiel.

He'd found Gabriel soon after that and with a few timid tugs of his shirt sleeve had managed to silently pull his brother away from the girl he was flirting with and out of the club. He was encircled by his brother's arms the moment they left and the car trip to the home was made in complete silence.

(A/N: I've been requested to cut down on some of the random brotherly bits that are of no importance to the plot, I've tried my best but for the parts I want to keep in I'll give a warning like this. From now to the end is angel brother fluff just to end this chapter on a lighter note. Feel free to ignore it if you wish.)

Both Michael and Lucifer were home now, the injuries weren't too bad and the Novaks were well known for their tendency to heal quickly which only further added to all the rumours they were actually angels. Michael was forced to stay still most of the time, lest he agitate the stab wounds on his torso and Luci was walking around complaining almost constantly about his broken arm and forcing Gabriel to do his chores for him.

When they got home all three older brothers had looked at Cass worriedly and Castiel went straight up to his room and collapsed onto the bed face down. Only ten minutes later Gabriel's voice was heard from the doorway.

"Cassie, you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Do you have a magical friendship glue gun that can fix this colossal bullshit I've found myself in? Or a recipe or pixie dust or something to make me feel better?" he mumbled exasperatedly and overdramatically into the sheets.

"No but I've got Star Wars and a bucket of gummy bears? Will that do?" Gabriel inquired with a playful smirk and an outstretched hand in invitation.

Castiel broke the staring contest he was having with his sheets to look his brother in the eye. "Yeah, that will do nicely." He pushed himself off the bed and took his brother's hand as he was led down the hall.

Gabriel's room was slightly larger than Castiel's but it seemed so much smaller as it was messy, chaotic, crammed with junk and all the walls were plastered with various things – movie posters, pin ups, collages of personal photos of friends or family. Castiel settled down on the ugly plaid loveseat in the corner of the room as Gabriel set up the DVD player.

Lucifer chose this exact moment to pop up out of nowhere, appearing behind Castiel as if out of thin air. For some reason everyone in the Novak family, including all of their cousins, seemed to have the ability to go completely unnoticed if they felt like it, a gift many of them abused. It got them a reputation and many speculated they had a secret ninja village set up in their backyard.

"Oooh, Star Wars." Lucifer exclaimed as he studied one of the boxes. "Scoot over, baby bro."

"Get outta here, Luc!" Gabriel snapped. "This is my alone time with Cassie."

The second oldest rolled his blue disdain filled eyes. "C'mon Gabby, think of it as brotherly bonding time." He spread his arms wide, or as much as he could with the sling on his right arm, and wore the most shit-eating grin Castiel had ever seen. "Here, come give your big brother a hug."

"Neveeer!" Gabriel pegged a gummy bear at the source of his frustration, it bounded off the blond's head and was swallowed up by a black hole of clothing on the ground.

"Why you little…" Lucifer lunged at his brother, knocking the much smaller, directionally challenged male to the ground, proceeding to wrestle him into a grapple hold while dodging Gabriel's flailing limbs. Gabriel had to reel himself back a bit so as to not hurt Lucifer's already injured arm.

Somewhere amidst the yelping, playful insults and laughter, Castiel heard Gabriel cry "Cassie! Cassie, help me! Together we can bring this douchenozzle down!"

Cass grinned as he snuck closer and jabbed his brother in the side with his socked toes. "Oh no you don't!" Luci had captured him in a headlock before he could get the jump on him; he was sitting on Gabriel so he couldn't help either, how he could take them both down without his dominant arm was a mystery, but then again, Lucifer was a mystery in himself. "You gonna let your kind, loving brother join the movie night now?" Lucifer threatened without even a hint of menace.

Castiel laughed as Gabriel begun some overly dramatic re-enactment of a dying soldier. "Cass…Cass…c-come closer…closer," Gabriel mock wheezed, "tell…Luci…he's a great big bag of dicks." He spat out the last part and ended with a flourish, lying dead still on the floor.

"What on Earth are you three doing?'

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "It's called enjoying ourselves, Michael. You've probably never heard of it, what with that stick shoved so far up your ass and all."

Michael glared daggers and Castiel knocked the blond over the head. "That was mean." Castiel reprimanded, albeit shyly. Instead of shooting him a guilty look or laughing at him, he just pulled the youngest into a hug and cooed in a sickeningly sweet manner that made Cass gag.

"I gotta say, guys," Michael started, "a family movie night without inviting me? I'm hurt."

"You're not invited and neither is Luc!" Gabriel mumbled around a mouthful of gummy bears. Michael's don't-you-dare look made him swallow before he continued. "It's supposed to be just me and Cass."

"I would very much life for Lucifer to remain here…" Castiel interjected.

Lucifer gave the sweet-tooth a smug little smirk. "Yeah, you tell hi-"

"as my footrest." Castiel interrupted to finish his sentence with a smirk.

Lucifer gave him a mock hurt look and pretended to wipe tears from his cheeks and Michael sauntered over, slinging an arm around Castiel's shoulders proudly and dropping onto the sofa.

"Which episode have we decided on?" Michael asked, looking at the box set.

"Well, Cassie and I were going to watch episode six. I woke up this morning with a craving for watching ewoks be badass and adorable." Gabriel replied.

"Kinky." Lucifer smirked, leaning against the arm rest and his palm from where he sat on the sofa.

The second oldest got a glare from all three other members of the odd little party. "Lucifer, if you do not shut your mouth I will shove one of Gabriel's dirty socks so far down your throat you will be coughing it up next year." Castiel teasingly threatened to which both Michael and Gabriel had given him a hi five and Luci had mumbled about it being pick-on-Lucifer day.

"I want to watch episode two, it's my favourite." Michael stated simply and all three of his brothers stared at him like he was a contagious disease or mouth-frothing insane. "What?"

"You're not my brother anymore. No way am I related to you." Lucifer shook his head.

"Nope. Nooope. This is not okay. I'm not listeniiiing." Gabriel covered his ears and sung show tunes to block everything out.

"Michael, even I know that's the worst one." Castiel had patiently explained.

Gabriel stuck a finger up to Michael's face. "Old trilogy is best. Two words: Harrison. Ford." Castiel nodded approvingly and Gabriel smiled at his only other brother with an attraction to men. Gabriel was bisexual and Cass didn't really know what he was, he liked Dean though so I guess that meant he wasn't straight. He had all his brothers' support and that was all that mattered.

After that incident, the oldest had ducked his head and avoided commenting to prevent any more awkward interventions. All four had snuggled up in a tight fit on the sofa, stuffing their faces with popcorn and gummy bears and washing it all down with soft drink and beer. When Lucifer had offered Gabriel a beer Michael had snapped at the blond and snatched the bottle away from him.

"You can't, Lucifer! He's underage!"

"By like…two months…what's the big deal? It's not like we all haven't had a few drinks every now and then. Hell, I started when I was fourteen." Lucifer shrugged nonchalantly.

Michael's mouth opened and closed dumbly. "E-even Cassie?" He had looked at his miniature hopefully but when the teen had nodded he slumped back into his chair. He looked upset and disappointed in himself like he had personally failed them and caused a horrible crime by not making his younger siblings model citizens like himself. But Michael wasn't quiet for long.

The night had raged on in a sleep-deprived, sugar-high delirium until they had all crashed and nodded off on each other's shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael has no taste in movies. 'Nuff said. (I based that part on a conversation I had with my older brother the other day when I asked him what his favourite Star Wars movie was. I forgave him on the basis that he didn't really remember what each movie was but I still can't believe I'm related to that lunatic) …I like writing the angel brothers scenes more than the Destiel parts…shoot me. :P Lotsa Destiel coming up soon.
> 
> I have a feeling you'll all hate Cass a bit after this, but not to worry, you'll hate Dean soon too! I'm such a lovely person.
> 
> P.S. I know the whole 'holy shit, why do they not realise D is Dean and C is Cass yet?!" thing is starting to get really painful for 99.9% of you buuuuuuuuuuuut, that will change reeeeeeeally soon. Further emphasis on the 'really'. ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter was really long so I split it into two and will post the 2nd part tomorrow. It's huge but considering the next few instalments will be much smaller than usual it's pre-emptive compensation…but here's the chapter you've all been waiting for…well…this one and next one

Castiel awoke to a crunching sound and the unpleasant feeling of something tiny dusting over his face. He blinked a few times and scrunched his nose up, fighting back the urge to sneeze. After a few moments of sleepy unawareness Castiel realised his head was lying in the lap of on Gabriel Novak who had been happily munching away on a piece of toast, not caring that his crumbs had fallen all over Castiel’s face. The younger male grimaced and shivered slightly in minor revulsion before shuffling further away from the path of his brother’s mess.

“Mornin’, sunshine.” Gabriel spoke through a mouthful of toast, spattering more crumbs into Castiel’s face.

Castiel shuddered. “You’re repulsive.”

Gabriel didn’t reply, just leant down to place a big slobbery kiss on Castiel’s forehead to which the younger boy swiftly rubbed off. “Eww, Gaaaabe! Ugh, I’m out of here.” Castiel quickly ran off to prepare for the day.

“Hey, Cassie! We don’t have any food in the kitchen, Michael left you some money to buy some.” Great, Castiel thought dismally, foul cafeteria food as icing to this perfect last 24 hours.

\--

Castiel winced as he felt a backpack slam into him roughly, followed closely by another and another as Dean’s usual gang passed by with snide smirks on their faces and chuckling lowly at Castiel’s misfortune of being the closest ‘nerd’ to the entrance to the senior locker area. The constant stream of intentional blows almost every day of the school year was beginning to frustrate him. Just as he began contemplating the preposterous idea of standing up for himself and snapping at the next person, he caught sight of a familiar face in the corner of his eye. Dean. He was casually greeting and lazily flirting with a group of junior girls with no real intent other than a way to ease his boredom.

Castiel nearly dove back to hid in the protective barrier of his locker but stopped himself. After their interactions on the weekend Castiel had begun to consider them friends even after Dean pointedly ignored him yesterday (which Cass refused to think of as anything but a misunderstanding for the sake of his own feelings) and he only wished Dean would share the sentiment. Breathing in shaky breaths, Castiel forced himself to slowly turn around. He could do this. No big deal. Just smile, wave, and greet him…easier said than done.

He honestly did not believe that could have gone much worse.

First of all he hit his hand on his open locker door as it flew up in an awkward and hasty wave. He winced and shook the limb wildly as if the agitated movement would somehow both heal the would-be bruise and remove all pain. As he did this he took a few steps back and tripped on a backpack his locker neighbour had left of the ground, falling over with all the grace of a lame rhinoceros. As Castiel had stated before, this universe hated him and this fact was reiterated now as he ended up falling back and knocking a slurpie out of the hand of the person behind him, splashing to frozen liquid all over his torso, soaking his jumper and uniform shirt.

The ridicule and laughter filled Castiel’s ears a second later. He stayed lying on the ground a while longer, breathing and trying to block out the sound in a failing attempt to fight off the panic. When he opened his eyes they flicked directly over to Dean who stood exactly where Cass had last seen him, not moving an inch to help Cass even if he did appear to be at war with himself about it. Castiel felt his eyes getting itchy and his throat uncomfortably tight.

So they weren’t friends then. It was all Castiel’s desire making things up.

Dean seemed to have made up his mind and had clearly decided to join in the ridicule. Laughing at Cass albeit in an entirely forced way. People acted so differently when they knew they weren’t going to be judged for it, Castiel noted.

He felt a hand on his arm and a calming voice cutting through the tormenting laughter.

“C’mon, Cassie, let’s get you out of here.”

Castiel wasn’t in the right mind to argue or even make an effort to recognise the voice but it was welcoming and Castiel needed the guidance it offered. He nodded, was helped to his feet by two steady sets of hands and guided silently to an empty classroom. His vision didn’t seem to want to cooperate with his and all he could really see was blurred shapes but he managed to stumble around the desks.

“Cass. Cassie?” The voice was getting clearer.

“Anna?”

“Yeah, it’s me, honey.” He was starting to see better now and the bright red blur was beginning to gain shape.

“And Sam!” An enthusiastic voice added from somewhere to Castiel’s left.

He was a lot calmer now and thanked his two friends for their assistance. The sigh that escaped his lips was so blue it actually depressed Sam and Anna by hearing it alone. “Thank you very much for your help.” Castiel rubbed at his eyes vigorously. “And here I thought I could get through just one semester without making a complete fool of myself in front of the whole school.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” Anna comforted.

Castiel smiled lazily. “No, it was worse. Perhaps I should have taken Michael’s offer to get home schooling.”

Anna’s eyes widened comically and she shook her head, ruby locks flying every which way. “Don’t you dare say that, Mikey is not taking away what little we see of you already.”

“Anna, you see me every day of the week, there’s almost always a family member in sight. I’d say you see more than enough of me.”

“Still, Mikey’s a douche and a control freak and I am therefore required to be completely against him at all times. It’s part of the job description.” Anna playfully grinned and the friendly and casual gesture comforted him more.

“Of course, we are the fallen angels after all.”

Before Anna could reply, the door was slammed open and Dean Winchester poked his head around the doorframe. “Sam, Cass?” He stepped in. “Oh…and Anna.”

Anna smirked smugly and Castiel flushed as he realised she was probably remembering Gabriel’s false announcement from Sunday that Cass and Dean were dating. “See you later, Cassie. Chuck and I are going out after school but I’ll be back before dinner.” She whispered before skipping past Dean. Sam also petted Castiel on the shoulder, whispered a promise to talk later and left, leaving only Cass and Dean in the room.

It was completely silent for a long while as the two stood awkwardly and distant from each other. Castiel rubbed his temples and started to walk towards the door but Dean stopped him with only an outstretched hand in his path and no words.

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Look, Dean. You clearly don’t want to be here with me and I really don’t need to deal with your false act of actually caring about me right now so—“

“Cass, shut up.” Dean reached out, pressing a palm flatly across Castiel’s mouth. “How could you think that, Cass? Of course I care about you.”

Dean’s grip wasn’t too tight and Castiel easily pried his hand away. “Obviously not. You were laughing at me too.”

Dean’s hand didn’t wander far, landing gently in the crook of Castiel’s neck and he felt even more conscious of the heat in his cheeks and the chilling wet spot covering almost the entirety of his torso. “Cass, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be making excuses but it’s just…” his voice trailed off.

“Who you are expected to be.” Castiel finished for him with a resigned sigh. “I understand, don’t worry.” He didn’t sympathise with it, in fact he loathed the idea of conforming to be something other than yourself for someone else’s benefit.

“Yeah…”

Dean’s voice was breathless and but a whisper. It was only when the cool air of Dean’s exhaled breath flush over his skin did Castiel realise how close they were. Their eyes were staring deeply into each other’s, a familiarity lying inside their bright depths and Castiel could have sworn that Dean was about to kiss him in that moment but whatever actions were to follow were interrupted by the sharp ringing of the bell.

“Shit. I didn’t realise it had gotten this late.” Dean pulled his phone from his pocket, checking the time. Next he checked Castiel’s jumper and saw it was wet all the way through to the uniform shirt underneath. He peeled the damp clothes back to assess the damage and revealed Castiel’s stomach and slender hips to which Dean had to lick his suddenly-dry lips and avert his eyes. “C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.”

“But class-“ Castiel prioded himself on his attendance record and he had even had an argument with Gabriel and Michael the day before in which the two had ganged up on him to convince him to stay at home. The youngest brother had won, obviously.

Dean’s hand was on Castiel’s collarbone again like it belonged there and Cass didn’t oppose this idea for a second. The way Dean’s thumb subconsciously rubbed his bare skin was tantalising. “Don’t worry, Cass, let’s just get you a new shirt and you head to class. I’ll clean this up.”

“Dean-“

“Shhh, just let me do this, okay? As an apology for being such a huge ass before.”

Castiel felt a lazy smile tug on his lips as he nodded.

“Good, do you have a spare shirt?” Dean inquired.

“No, just this one.”

Dean cursed. “Damn, well I have a spare but…” Castiel wasn’t the type to rush someone’s thoughts. He always patiently waiting for them to collect their stray ideas on their own, “it’s a tank top and I don’t have another jumper and considering how cold its getting you’ll freeze in class and I can’t have that on my conscience.” He rubbed his own neck awkwardly in the typical Winchester way. He begun to remove his own jumper and offered it to Cass.

The jumper Cass had ruined was just enough warmth for the day. A tank top would be uncomfortable. It was certainly getting colder and Castiel had starting carrying his trench coat around everywhere. He told Dean this and he had sighed in relief and put his jumper back on.

They went back to Castiel’s locker and he got his trench coat out of his bag. Dean’s eyes narrowed considerably at the sight of it and Castiel pointed this out. Dean shrugged it off casually but had kept his eyes interrogatively on Castiel, observing his every action with such sharp eyes it was almost scary.

“D-Dean…is something wrong?”

“No, just checking something. Sorry, I’ve been really out of it since something last night.” Castiel furrowed his brows but said no more. Dean only broke his one-sided staring contest when they got to his locker and he’d given Castiel the shirt. “You can just get changed here, the hall’s empty and we’re both guys.”

Castiel swallowed, eyes widened and he shook his head. “I-I really don’t-“

“Cass.” This forceful Dean was scaring Castiel and he felt his throat constricting and his breaths getting shallower. With shaky hands and uncooperative fingers he tried to pull the hem of his shirt up but hadn’t got far before Dean placed his much larger hand on his. “Sorry, Cass. You shouldn’t do it if you don’t want to. I don’t know what came over me.” He apologised.

Castiel sighed in relief and wandered off to the nearest empty room with Dean close behind, silent as a mouse. He had gotten changed with Dean outside the door. He knew he was being far too ridiculous about this but he hated showing skin. Always had.

When Castiel left the room, now clad in Dean’s shirt and his own trench coat the taller boy sucked in a sharp breath and his eyes glued to Castiel. Before he could say anything, Dean snatched Castiel’s soiled shirt and jumper and walked bristly down the hall without another word, leaving Castiel bewildered in his wake.

After a few short moments to compose himself Castiel brought the too-long sleeves up to his face (they drooped over his fingers) and breathed in the scent. Castiel had a few belongings that had tremendous sentimental value that most people would consider junk.

There was a pez dispenser in the shape of Scooby Doo that Gabriel had given him when he was eight. At this time Gabe was eleven and beyond selfish with his things (he broke Luci’s nose when the older boy used his toy fire truck without permission. A scar remains there to this day) Castiel kept it in his bag if he went out. Another was an old bookmark him and Lucifer had made one Sunday morning at Sunday school when he was five, back when Lucifer still attended church. It was laminated and bright blue, featured the artistic attempts of a five year old drawing a lob-sided angel, and enough glitter to make a fairy cringe. He always used it when he was reading. There was also a teddy bear Cass kept on his bed. It wore a t-shirt that said ‘I *heart* Cassie’ that Michael had given him. His eldest brother had been sixteen and his girlfriend of the time had taken him to some weird teddy-bear making stall expecting him to make one for her. When instead he made one for his baby brother she broke up with him in an instant. He remembered Michael coming home, planting a kiss on his forehead mumbling that, after dad, Cass was the most important person in his life and that girls were weird.

By far his most important belonging was the old tan trench coat that belonged to their father. He was never around so Castiel treasured it even more. He almost always wore it whenever the weather warranted its use without the threat of heat stroke. That’s why, despite his fight with D and Dean’s sudden attitude, Castiel couldn’t help but feel calm in what felt like his father’s embrace.

\--

C: Cafeteria pizza tastes like badly flavoured cardboard. I hate stale junk food.

D…?

Please can you reply?

Please, for me?

Okay, I get it. I can’t just push this aside like it’s nothing but I just miss you, D.

You’re special to me, D, and I want to share my whole world with you…all of it…I just need time.

I need to talk to you. I need you to be with me. I need you by my side. I just need you, D.

I am sorry. I am so sorry, D.

I know I really don’t have the right to ask for your forgiveness or your friendship anymore, but I need it.

How can I make it up to you?

…please.

¬--

Ever since Castiel had woken up that morning, D had been on his thoughts. He’d tried texting, messaging, even calling his best friend but had only received one reply for his efforts. When Castiel read the message in class he had to be excused and spent the rest of the period curled up with his knees to his chest on top of a closed toilet seat in the boys bathroom.

D: I can’t do this anymore and I know that if we don’t separate now it will end up destroying us both. I wish you the best of luck with your little crush; I have decided to act on mine as well although it is miniscule in comparison to my feelings for you. I love you, C. Don’t forget that.

It hurt. Not just the blatant finality of it, but also the realisation that someday, not any time soon but someday, D will have moved on from him.

He hated to admit it but D’s little crush on this new guy was sending little waves of jealousy and possessiveness throughout Castiel’s body and he hated how guilty it made him feel. He tried to trick his mind into ignoring whatever growing feelings that he had been developing for D. He like Dean and D could have his stupid little crush on this new guy especially if it meant he wouldn’t be on Castiel’s tail forever. He tried to dispose of any malevolent wishes or jealous malice he had for the new boy. This was not like him and he had no reason to adopt such ugly emotions.

But he was jealous that D’s affections were focussed elsewhere, that he could not hide. It had barely been twelve hours and Castiel was already missing D. Waking up knowing there would be no sweet ‘good morning’ message awaiting him on his phone was almost unbearable and sent waves of pain throughout Castiel’s body. He had subconsciously checked his phone every five minutes. His brothers had tried to cheer him up and Castiel had absorbed all their affection like a sponge and only demanded more.

Sighing, he pocketed his phone and returned to his disgusting meal, focus entirely on the flavoured cardboard in front of him and only deviating at the arrival of someone who made Castiel’s heart pound like a bongo drum visited their table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahaha, I know I said the realisation would come soon but you'll just have to wait a liiiiittle longer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so second part of chapter 7 which would have been 7300 words all together. Hope you like it.

“C’mooooon, open up and talk, you giant walking soap-box! Jo droned and rapidly poked Dean’s bicep in a way that would have been annoying if it wasn’t so affectionate and playful or if it wasn’t Jo doing it.

“Don’t worry about it.” Dean repeated for the umpteenth time.

Jo slapped a flat palm across Dean’s back, jerking him forward and causing his try to ratter precariously on the table. “Alright, Dean-o, since you’ve decided to be a tight-lipped prude today, I’m gonna pop over to see Charlie. You can sit on your miserable, but damn fine¸ ass brooding for all I care.” She slid out of her seat, making sure to bump Dean in the head with her bag as she passed.

“Hey, Jo!” Sam called out and the blonde turned around slowly, raising a thin eyebrow as she peered at Sam over her shoulder. “You should still take Dean with you, might help him cheer up and stop sulking.” Sam smirked and Jo seemed to understand he was planning something and she was smart enough to know to never ever interfere with a Winchester whenever that happened.

“What? N-no, Sammy!” Dean’s hesitance sealed the deal.

“Just go, Dean. Don’t make me force you.” Sam’s brows lowered in what would have been a menacing expression if it didn’t look so out of place and cute with his adorable baby chipmunk face.

Jo pulled Dean up from his seat and he half-heartedly fought her off. “So much for brothers look out for each other.” He heard Sam yell a snide ‘have fun!’ from behind him and Dean made sure to flip him the bird with as much spite as he could muster. Jo’s arm was wound tightly around Dean’s own to prevent his escape even if he had resigned himself to his fate and reluctantly followed. 

They strutted out of the cafeteria, Dean made sure to revert back to his usual confident strides, people were looking, heads turning to catch a glimpse of them walk by. Chilly autumn air greeted them as they burst through the door into the courtyard outside and Dean clenched his jacket tighter around his chest. Jo immediately headed for a small cluster of tables on the other side.

This was where most of the outcasts hung out at lunch, occasionally migrating inside to the cafeteria whenever the weather necessitated it. Otherwise the odd bundle of contrasting social cliques stayed outside. They were all very different but united in their weirdness and general dislike or indifference for the more popular groups. Sure you had your goths, scene kids, hipsters and artists, and geeks, you know…all the usual stereotypes, but for some strange reason they all seemed to cooperate and some even mingled with other groups. Such as Charlie’s group, a pleasant mix of geeks, hipsters and dorks with the occasional goth if they felt like socialising.

Jo sped up to a jog and quickly gained on the table in the corner. “Charlie!” The red head perked up at the sound of her favourite voice calling her name and jumped up, a comical grin plastered over her glossy lips. Jo pulled her girlfriend’s form closer and wrapped her arms around her tight. Everyone in the vicinity ignored what was now a common occurrence. Dean shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and hummed Zep’s ‘Black Dog’ to himself idly.

Their school’s LGBT community had gathered a lot of support, especially in recent years, and with most of the student body on their side they had managed to dispel most of the homophobic bullying. Dean and many others were very grateful for this,

Jo and Charlie were one of the poster couples for the school too, further adding to the support. They had been dating for only a little over a year but had managed to steal the hearts of almost the entire student populace in that time. Dean admitted they were one adorable couple. Not too lovey-dovey but still proud enough of their relationship to show it off with no shame whatsoever.

It had been Sam that had introduced the two. The Harvelles had been like an extended family to the Winchesters for years and when Jo had come out to Sam and Dean with teary eyes when she was fourteen, a big shock to them who knew for a fact Jo had previously had a massive crush on Dean for years, the boys had promised to stand by her through it. Jo had returned that favour when Dean came out to her as bisexual not a year later. After a few months, Sam had endeavoured to help Jo get her first ever girlfriend and, after a half dozen unsuccessful candidates, had reluctantly introduced Charlie, another bookworm friend, to Jo with little expectations due to how different the two girls were. How wrong he had been.

Sure, they were very, very different, but that didn’t mean they weren’t perfect for each other. Jo was, quite frankly, a badass, she was cool and charismatic. Charlie was the opposite, cute, geeky, absent-minded and awkward. Despite their differences they had quickly become each other’s everything. Jo gave up so much to help Charlie, almost all of her paychecks from working at the Roadhouse went to a fund for encouraging Charlie’s geeky obsessions and Charlie was all too happy to return the favour or express just how grateful she was. They were adorable and not in a vomiting rainbows, sickly sweet, shove the love down your throat kind of way.

Dean wasn’t entirely open with his sexuality but he wasn’t exactly hiding it either. He liked his reputation for being a lady’s man, thank you very much, but he was anything but ashamed of his bisexuality. Dean liked girls, a lot, but occasionally someone of the male gender would come along and knock him off his feet. C just happened to be one of those people except it didn’t feel like being knocked off your feet, more like having the ground crumple beneath you, sending you flying into a pleasant abyss or like falling down a rabbit hole and into Wonderland.

Dean shook his head vigorously and reminded himself not to think of C. He had to force himself past this initial stage, no matter how painful it is, if he was ever going to move on. A pair of very familiar cerulean eyes caught this sudden movement.

“Dean?” A disbelieving voice murmured. 

Perking up instantly at this, Dean met Castiel’s curious, albeit wary, gaze. “Cass!” Dean exclaimed breathlessly with a little too much enthusiasm to be a platonic greeting. Of course, he caught Jo smiling with smug understanding at this out of the corner of his eye. She had the nerve to try and hide it by burying her face in Charlie’s bright hair. Dean stuck his tongue out at her and she returned the gesture fervently.

“U-um…what are you doing here?”

Dean forced himself to remain calm and smooth. “Just keeping Jo company.”

“Oh.” Cass mumbled and slumped further in his seat, dismally picking pieces of who-knows-how-old onion off a slice of disgusting cafeteria pizza. He looked uncomfortable and now that Dean realised it, he notice most of the table’s occupants were in similar condition.

Chuck Shurley opposite Cass with Anna by his side. He look stunned and nervous at the appearance of such a popular figure, he was leaning backwards with his weight almost entirely on his girlfriend for support as he could hardly hold himself up. Anna giggle and rubbed Chuck’s shoulders and affectionately berated him over his behaviour. They looked good together, she always was the strong, fiercely independent type and Dean was glad she had someone to counterbalance her, keep her calm and grounded. Next to them was Garth…Fitzgerald, Dean remembered the name from all the posters hanging around the school, Garth was running for vice-president of the student council but had so far only received two or three votes. The scrawny boy looked simultaneously about to explode from excitement or faint from nervousness. Dean could almost feel the awe radiating off of him in waves. 

Opposite, some boy sat next to Cass. With childish features and his form balled up on his seat he looked too young to be in high school. Dean noticed the way his and Cass’s hands were held together and he narrowed his eyes. So much for sucking it up and walking away if his jealousy decided to flare up like this.

“So…Cass, you get into any trouble ‘bout not being in uniform? The school’s laundry is out of order so I’ll clean your clothes up at home.” Dean forced himself in between Cass and the twig like boy next to him earning an annoyed grumble from the boy and a blush and a whispered ‘sorry Inias’ from Cass in reply.

“N-no. Well…once, but it was just a warning, they said that they ‘trusted me enough to believe me and do the right thing next time’.”

Dean laughed and flung his arm around Castiel’s shoulders. Hell, it was time to stop worrying about C and find someone else. Even if Castiel still reminded him too much of his love and the new Cass-is-C conspiracy that had developed in his head since this morning didn’t help one bit. “Benefits of being a teacher’s pet, huh?”

Castiel blinked a few times, dark lashes fluttering over flushed cheeks and causing Dean’s breath to hitch, but Cass still puffed his chest up defiantly. “Am not.”

“Course you aren’t.” Dean drawled sarcastically. “Bet you give teachers shiny red apples and ask them about their weekends.”

Surprisingly Cass choked at this. Eyes widening, shoulders rolling upwards, lower lip biting, shift eyes – the works. “M-Michael said it would be a good idea.” He stuttered out.

Dean had no idea who Michael was but he honestly didn’t care right then with Castiel the centre of his mind for the first time since last night. He doubled over as laughter tumbled out over his lips and filling the air. “I can’t believe you would actually do that! I thought that only happened in children’s cartoons and storybooks.” He exclaimed through his laughter.

“S-shut up.”

Despite his demand, Cass smiled shyly up at Dean and Dean thought it was one of the sweetest smiles he’d ever seen. Cautiously he brushed his hand over Castiel’s underneath the table and couldn’t help but grin when, after a few moments of awkward stillness, he felt Castiel’s fingers entwine with his own.

“I didn’t know you were friends with Charlie.” Dean prompted, desperate for small talk not only for conversation but to ensure Castiel’s focus was entirely on him.

“Really? Sam’s here all the time, I thought if he knew then you would too.”

Dean shook his head in silent surprise. Sam only sometimes sat with Dean for lunch but he thought he would be at the library or with other friends his age when he wasn’t. Maybe Sam just forgot to tell Dean. Then he realised that maybe his brother was up to something, making Dean go with Jo if he knew Cass would be here.

Dean had told Sam of his fight with C the previous night, maybe his little brother knew of Dean’s pseudo-crush on Cass and was trying to help him get over C. Or maybe…no. Dean refused to entertain the conspiracy that had determinedly wrapped itself tight around his mind. C and Castiel…no…it was too perfect, too dreamlike and Dean’s life was far too fucked up for happy endings and fairytales.

Since Dean didn’t reply for a while and had busied himself with playing with a flimsy set of plastic cutlery in front of him, Castiel had taken out his phone. His case was some odd, blue television box from some tv show Sammy was obsessed with and C had mentioned a few times in conversation. He was enjoying silently watching Cass’ body language and only spoke up when Castiel made a pained expression that hurt to even look at.

“What’s wrong?” Dean prompted with concern and squeezed Cass’ hand. 

Castiel’s free hand plucked at Dean’s fingers with a shy coyness that was still beautifully open and it fit him so perfectly Dean wanted to smile. “I had a fight with my best friend yesterday…I-I just want to make things up but haven’t had the chance to. I can’t handle him being angry with me.”

Dean furrowed his brows. Okay, these similarities were getting too creepy now. Just as he was about to question more their conversation was interrupted.

“Hey, Dean, did you know Chuck’s a huge fan of you. Like…he’s pretty obsessed.” It seemed Garth joked with only a hint of his previous awkward nervousness.

Chuck sputtered. “G-Garth! You can’t just…” he trailed off.

“He’s making a book about you and everything. Huge gay crush if you ask me.”

Chuck began denying it fervently. Dean was slightly annoyed that they interrupted him and Castiel but he wanted to make a good impression on Cass and he doubted snapping at his friends would help with that so he forced himself to be civil. “Oh really?”

“Yeah, you and yer brother are the main characters. Ghost hunters or somethin’.”

“And demons, and monsters and…err…” Chuck trailed off again. “You probably don’t want to hear about that…sorry.”

Despite being creeped out, Dean was grateful he at least had some common ground to work with and gladly kept the conversation going. Hey, if he was trying to look good for Cass he might as well try and make it interesting. “Actually I love that sort of stuff. I’m a bit of a geek when it comes to supernatural things.”

Garth cheered. “See, Chuck! I told you you were psychic or somethin’!”

A sparkle found it’s home in Chuck’s eyes. “R-really? …and you’re not upset I’m writing characters inspired by you?” When Dean shook his head Chuck hastily fumbled for a notebook and pen in his messy backpack. “What do you think about poltergeists…no, wait, even better…I wanted to start something about angels, how do you feel about that topic?”

Dean chuckled and thought back to all the times he’d met C at the I.I. Dressed in that pure white mask and soft, probably crazy expensive, silk wings that looked so real Dean expected him to fly away half the time. Dean shook his head lightly. He didn’t think he could handle it if C actually had wings.

To Dean, C was a real life angel. Magnificent, beautiful, and out of his reach. Teasing and dancing and flaunting his brilliance on the tips of Dean’s fingers and watching him crumble beneath his radiance.

Dean looked straight into Chuck’s eyes with steely honesty. “I think they’re dicks with wings.”

\--

Since last night with D, Castiel decided he needed something to take his mind of the situation, at least until it didn’t feel so raw to think about. In first period Castiel had elected to entertain his hobby to pass the time. 

Castiel had a strange hobby. Some days he loved to just choose a random person and follow them around, learning everything he could about that person in the space of a few hours. It made him feel in control, something he rarely experienced and cherished whenever he did. It had started as just being for his brothers, or cousins, or neighbours who had all just brushed it off as Cass being odd and adorable. When he was fourteen he started following other people around but he found out they didn’t like it or were not okay with it like his family was pretty quickly.

One time he had chosen a 29 year old smoking addict with a severe cold sore, a limp in his right leg and a perpetual scowl on his face. He’d been caught by the angry man when he wasn’t careful and after the confrontation had silently limped home with two broken ribs, a fractured wrist and a dislocated shoulder. Cass was very quiet during his brothers’ fussing over him, watching them rile themselves up over the whole ordeal. That was one of the few times Michael had ever sworn in front of his brothers. Lucifer had disappeared that night and when he had come back he was covered in blood without a single scratch on him. Surprisingly Michael had said nothing about it and instead shooed the blond upstairs and wished him good night – something he hadn’t told Lucifer in years.

Today Castiel had picked Becky Rosen. He wasn’t particularly interested in her, he was never really interested in anyone or anything, but she was a new student and one of the first people to pop to his mind. She was often in the library and shared two classes with Castiel so it wasn’t too difficult to observe her without her knowledge or going out of his way. A simple target and just what Castiel needed to relax. He didn’t, however, expect to be caught by someone else.

Castiel had been concentrating so hard on watching Becky through a gap in the bookshelf in the library after school that day, confident he was hidden and alone, that he hadn’t noticed when someone had approached him until they laid a hand on his shoulder. The quiet teen was startled and flinched at the touch. Fortunately, the hand retracted with a confused hesitance and Cass let his gaze wander higher…much higher.

Sam stood next to him, far too close for Castiel’s comfort, with Dean in tow behind him. Castiel did relax when he realised he wasn’t going to get punished by Sam but he awkwardly forced his eyes back to Becky so they wouldn’t stray to Dean.

“What are you doing, Cass?” Sam asked with genuine curiosity and careful tone like he was talking to a child or an elderly person and was wary of upsetting them.

Castiel didn’t hesitate to answer. “Watching.”

The younger boy shuffled his weight between his feet. “Who are you watching today?” He knew of Castiel’s hobby and didn’t question it anymore.

“Becky Rosen. 17. Recently moved here from Delaware. Very excitable. Lives by herself with an allowance from her parents. Straight a student in all subjects but gym. Enjoys reading novels in the romance or supernatural genre. Has a male tabby cat called Mar-Delok. (1)” Castiel listed in a monotone and nondescript voice.

Dean looked at Cass with wide eyed incredulity whereas his brother took his friend’s oddity in stride, nodding in fake interest. “Is that so?”

“It is what I have gathered from today alone but the accuracy is indeterminable at the present time. I initially thought her to have feelings for Chuck despite his being in a relationship with Anna but it is clear now she is interested in you instead, Sam.”

Sam nodded slowly before he snapped back to Cass in shock and sudden recognition of his words. “Wait-what?!”

Blue eyes widened slightly, startled and intimidated by the outburst but Cass dutifully recounted his findings. “10:26 am: she was found watching you from afar in the cafeteria. She was writing this:” Castiel grabbed his phone from his pocket and shoved it into Sam’s face, a picture of Becky drawing a page of love hearts and various phrases such as ‘Sam and Becky 5ever’. It was taken from very close, practically over her shoulder and the Winchester boys had to wonder how the hell Castiel managed to get so close without her noticing.

Sam snatched the phone from Castiel’s hand and studied the picture with wide eyed horror and his mouth hung ajar. Meanwhile Dean leant further against the bookshelf and studied Castiel.

“Gotta hand it to you, Cass. You may be a total creep but you’re damn good at it. Must be a ninja or something.” Dean praised with a condescending smirk and underlying rudeness that made it far less flattering than Castiel would have liked. He tried to glare but it came out like a pout so he schooled his features back to normal.

“Oi! Dean, don’t be such a dick.” Sam jabbed his brother in the ribs with an elbow.

“He doesn’t mind, right Cass?” Dean reached a hand out to affectionately ruffle Castiel’s hair. It was an action Cass knew he would never do in front of his friends for fear of how it might affect his reputation, even their hand holding at lunch today was secretive and under the table, it caught Castiel off guard. He could have sworn he saw Sam smirking out of the corner of his eye.

“Sam,” Castiel interjected into the brothers’ argument, “may I ask why your brother is here? I do not mean to offend but he does not seem like the type to visit a library in his spare time.”

Dean gave Castiel a lazy smile that once again caught Castiel’s breath. “Got that right.”

“Right, well it’s actually this watching…things we’re here about. We’ve got a friend called Bela, she’s a bitch most of the time but a good girl at heart. We’re just a bit worried for her, she’s been disappearing a lot lately and we just want to make sure she’s not getting herself into trouble.” Castiel nodded politely.

Dean cut his brother off with an impatient huff. “Do you think you could do your whole stalker thing and find out what the hell she’s been up to?”

“Bela Talbot?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“She is currently five shelves over, engaged in quite the heated kiss with my cousin, Balthazar.” Castiel answered their queries with such simplicity he caught both boys off guard.

Sam’s hazel eyes bulged and he dashed off to see for himself. Dean remain behind looking rather impressed.

“You’re good.”

Castiel’s mind was suddenly filled with only thoughts that he and Dean were alone for the first time since Dean’s room and he stuttered and blushed accordingly. “Y-yes, well…I always stay informed on my family’s actions.”

The larger teen nodded with only minimal interest now and ran his fingers down a few spines of the books on a shelf at his hip. “Balthazar, huh? That British guy who always hangs around with Anna Milton, right? The one will all the…how do I put this…gay?”

“My cousin is bisexual with a preference for women if that is what you are referencing.”

Dean let out a snort of laughter. “Coulda fooled me,” he regarded Castiel with a smile, “he’s always with Anna, who’s smoking hot by the way, but never once made a move on her. Everyone thought he was a strictly dick kind of guy.”

“Anna is my cousin too. Her and Balthazar are related, of course there would be nothing romantic between them.”

Dean raised his eyebrows in sincere interest. “I didn’t know that…attractive gene pool,” he choked and startled as he realised what he had just said and tried to cover it up, “wow, that came out a lot more gay than I expected.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side as if the new angle would provide him with some sort of understanding of the odd situation. “I think it sounded perfectly friendly.”

Green eyes sparkled and lips curled up at that. Castiel took the chance to study Dean close up for the first time and he hadn’t noticed just how vividly green his eyes were before.

Dean spun around so he was leaning against the bookshelf next to Castiel, their shoulders brushing in the close proximity. It was another gesture to which Castiel realised he had no clue how to even begin to react. He chose to lean against the bookshelf too and tried to exude a relaxed vibe. For some reason, when Dean wasn’t acting like an ass for the sake of maintaining his reputation, he reminded Castiel a lot of D and it helped calm his beating heart. For this Castiel was thankful, he really didn’t want to make a fool of himself all over again.

“Anna, huh? And here I thought all your family had weird names.” Dean prompted conversationally.

“Anna is short for Anael.”

Much to Castiel’s surprise, Dean let out a bark of a laugh at this. “Should’ve known! No way you guys could have a normal name.”

Castiel’s bottom lip stuck out and his eyebrows furrowed. “I like my name…and they’re not all that weird.”

Green eyes held a silent message of ‘oh really now?’ and a challenge.

“Two of my brothers’ names are Michael and Gabriel. They’re common enough, right?”

This did not garner the response Castiel had expected. Dean’s smile had dropped instantly and he had pushed himself off the bookshelf to regard Castiel with his full attention. “Michael and Gabriel?” Castiel nodded slowly, unsure where this was going. “Like the archangels?”

“Yes, that is correct.” Voice inclined at the end in an unspoken question like his brothers had taught him.

Dean shuffled around awkwardly, suddenly finding it hard to look at Castiel. One arm crossed his chest and was clutching the other in a partially defensive, partially self-comforting pose. “I-is Castiel an angel too?”

“I am named after the angel of Thursday. I have three brothers and the final one is called Lucifer. Anael or Haniel is the angel of compassion and joy. I have many other cousins with names like Raphael, Inias or Uriel…I’m not quite sure was Balthazar means but I can look it up for you if you wish.” Castiel listed he could feel himself slipping into another rant so stopped himself quickly. “I hope you do not consider me a ‘dick with wings’ now.” He said cutely and pretended to tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear in a feeble flirting attempt.

Dean looked like he was about to shut down and it worried Castiel immensely. His eyes were wide and glued to Castiel’s face, unblinking and unwavering in their intensity. His teeth worried his bottom lip subconsciously, occasionally opening and closing like a fish. It would be quite the hilarious sight if it hadn’t been Dean who was doing it, he was always so composed. “N-no, it’s okay…I’m…I gotta go.”

Before Castiel knew it, Dean had disappeared from the library leaving Castiel in utter confusion. Oddly enough it was at this exact moment when Sam came back with a satisfied smile that looked so out of place considering his brother had just run off.

“I think he likes you.”

Castiel sent him the most venomous glare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there it is! Sorry, I know it's not what you were expecting but I promise to have lots of the realisation aftermath next chapter.
> 
> 1) Apparently that's the name of the demon in Becky's canon Wincest fanfic.
> 
> Oh, if you loved me you would check out my tumblr art blog, the url is drowned-moonlight :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write since it has a lot of Sam in it and I'm still so pissed at him after the season gr8 premiere.

Dean’s fist made harsh contact with the cupboard door next to Sam’s head, cracking the wood around a small indent of his fist. It would hurt like a bitch and bruise later, he knew that, but for now he couldn’t care less. Sam squeaked in fright.

“You knew all along, right?” Dean growled. He was close. Right in Sam’s face and he could feel his breath in every pore.

“A-about what?”

“About Cass!” Dean’s raised voice made Sam flinch and his eyes kept flicking worriedly to the way he balled his fists up even more, the knuckles going white.

Sam stilled. “Oh.”

Dean’s expression was one of hurt but his brother had always been good at hiding his emotions and pushing people away. He sarcastically repeated Sam’s “oh” with spite. Both his face and fists clenched up painfully tight and he knocked the plate out of Sam’s hands. It smashed on the floor, china shattered and shards sprayed everywhere. “You didn’t think that maybe, maybe it would be a good idea to tell me?!” Dean threw his hands up and reluctantly stepped away. He fidgeted and paced just to do something to make sure he kept his hands off his brother.

Sam backed up into a corner and held his hands up defensively. He really didn’t want to step in front of his brother when he was angry. The Winchester rage was legendary and there was little you could do to calm them down. He remembered a few months back when Dean had caught him trying to make friends through skipping class and getting into alcohol and Sam, blinded by absolute rage and a buzz of alcohol, had clawed at his big brother’s neck trying to rip his throat out. As pansy as it was, they’d managed to hug it out and Dean hadn’t spoken a word of it since.

“Fuck, Sam!” He tore at his hair in frustration. “Why the hell would you keep this from me?”

Sam bit his lip. “You had to figure it out for yourself or you’d feel even worse.”

Dean dug the palms of his hands into his eye sockets and voicelessly mouthed a wide spectrum of swears. “Do you realise how stupid I feel right now?”

Sam was never good at the whole ‘don’t taunt the angry dog’ thing, or whatever the analogy was, and answered back. “Not stupid enough, obviously. It took you this long?”

Rough hands grabbed the front of Sam’s shirt and slammed him back further into the bench. Pain shot up his lower back where he had been smashed against the counter. Yep, angering Dean had certainly not been a good idea. “You…” Dean growled out.

He stepped away from Sam and ducked his head. “Get out of here.”

“Dean…”

“Now!” Piercing emerald eyes glared at Sam. “Look, I know you’re just trying to help but right now I…” Dean bounced his fist in mid-air, a gesture he usually used whenever he was thinking and didn’t know how to word something. “I don’t want to hurt you, Sammy, but if you don’t get out now I swear…”

Sam knew how much his brother hated hurting him, physical or emotional, but he also knew that the threat was very much real. Needless to say, Sam fled instantly.

A short while later Sam heard the impala start and Dean drive away. After that he didn’t see or hear Dean again for another two hours before the elder brother shuffled into Sam’s room and collapsed face down on his bed. He was sweaty and dirty and exhausted and Sam didn’t have the heart to tell him to get off, even if it would ruin the sheets.

“Bobby’s?” Sam questioned. He knew all too well Dean’s usual way to deal with his anger.

“Yeah. Piece of junk though, I don’t think Bobby will notice nor care it’s got a few more dents in it than when it came in.”

Sam sighed. Some people dealt with their anger through sports or writing angry letters or something…Dean smashed cars. It was significantly more badass but it was still very much odd and far too destructive for Sam’s taste.

“He was there all along.” Dean mumbled dismally into the covers. Voice barely audible.

Not knowing what to say, Sam simply replied. “Yeah.”

“How could I not-“ Dean balled his fists, clenching the sheets tight for a short few seconds before releasing. It was a relaxation technique he had learned a few years back after Mary realised both her sons had an unusually high amount of anger bubbling beneath their skins and didn’t know how to deal with it. She wasn’t too happy with Dean’s car smashing technique either but it didn’t hurt anyone and seemed the best method of release for him so she didn’t complain.

“I just feel like such a fucking idiot.” Dean turned his face to look at Sam where he was sitting by his desk. His face was totally downtrodden and weary from the intense storm of emotions raging within his body. It was the first signs of battle scars of emotional warfare.

“Love makes people dumb. So you didn’t realise instantly, so what?” Sam stood up and lay down next to Dean on the covers. “Emotions cloud your judgement. In emotions like this, an outsider would be more perceptive.”

“But he was right there! I…” Dean clenched his jaw tight and Sam could hear his teeth grating together. “Do I not love him enough? Was that…” Dean buried his face back into the sheets. “I told myself I loved him so much but I still couldn’t recognise him. Was I just lying to myself or-“

Sam grabbed Dean’s shoulder tightly and stared intensely into the viridian green sea of his eyes. “No. That’s not the case. You love Castiel. I know you do, I can see that.”

Dean’s not an affectionate guy. He’s closed off. A steaming pot of boiling water with its lid sealed tightly on. Castiel was the one who finally lifted that lid, releasing all the dormant compassion and affection and all the crap in between in one intense burst like no one had ever done before. That’s why Sam knows that when Dean says he loves Castiel, it’s the honest to God truth.

Castiel was just what Dean always needed. Despite the irony of it, Castiel was both Dean’s rock to stand on and the key to his bird cage. He grounded Dean and offered him a shoulder to lean on. He freed Dean and gave him what the eldest Winchester had always denied himself.

Dean would object and argue that Sam and their mother were the greatest part of his life but Sam knew that Castiel was Dean’s everything. He was the breath in his lungs. The blood in his veins. Cass completed Dean in a way Sam could never ever offer and he knew the feeling was returned.

They fit together like puzzle pieces. Different yet perfectly cut for each other. Sam and Dean just didn’t have that. They were always trying to force their pieces to fit together and it was getting them nowhere except closer to frustration. So when Cass came along, the perfect fit to Dean, offering everything Dean ever needed in a life companion, everything Sam could never, the youngest was all too willing to pass over and let Castiel ride shotgun in the seat of the most important person in Dean’s life. Castiel deserved that. He was made for that role. Sam was glad they finally found each other.

No matter what Dean said, what he argued or denied, Sam knew he would always love Castiel.

“I’ve seen the way you’ve changed in the past few months since you met him, Dean. He’s brought out the best in you and I know that’s all because of just how damn much you love him. So don’t you dare say you don’t and don’t you dare doubt yourself on that.”

“Then why-“

“Strong emotions like that…they make you narrow-minded, blind.” Sam worried his lip, cautious of how to word his next line in case he brought up bad memories or feelings that were all too raw. “You told me you and C had a fight because he saw your relationship as separate from his real life. Well, this is exactly the same thing. Your relationship with C was in this perfect little world both of you had created, of course you wouldn’t translate that into reality.”

Emerald eyes glazed over in thought before they looked back to Sam’s. “But I was searching for him all this time…”

“You were always looking for him but never saw him.” Sam smiled lazily. This was like talking to a child and, not for the first time, Sam felt like the older sibling gently guiding the younger through the twists and turns on the road of life. “It just proves the whole ‘blinded and dumb by love’ thing.” They both sighed simultaneously and had to stop themselves from smiling at that. “Besides, it’s a relatively large city and the club’s right in the centre. Essentially you two could have gone to any of the numerous high schools within the city boundaries. Of course you would assume you would never cross paths with C outside of the club by coincidence. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Dean rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling as if the blank surface would hold all the answers. “I’m still pissed at you for not telling me.”

Sam kicked at Dean’s form wildly, not caring where the blow hit. “Oi! I was just trying to help!”

In retaliation Dean playfully elbowed Sam. It was soft enough not to hurt. “Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

They were silent for ages, both just staring at the ceiling and giving it much more attention that the plain surface warranted. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

Sam raised an eyebrow incredulously. “Well, you may have been too stupid to recognise C was Cass but please don’t tell me you didn’t realise Cass has a crush on you too.”

“Oh, right. I knew that at least, he’s not all that good at hiding it.” He grinned, remembering that finally, finally his feelings were actually mutual.

Sam kicked him again. “Stop that! It’s creepy!”

“Screw you, Sammy.” Dean flung an arm sideways in a careless manner yet clearly deliberately aimed to hit Sam in the chest.

They laid in silence for a few minutes, occasionally exchanging soft kicks to the other’s legs to keep the awkwardness at bay. Dean’s expression darkened far too quickly to be a good sign.

“What’s wrong?”

Dean stilled completely. “There’s never any happy endings in my story, Sam.”

“You don’t know that. You’re still young.”

Dean gazed back at Sam with world-weary eyes too old for his age before returning them to the ceiling. It worried Sam immensely. 

“What are you planning on doing?” Sam furrowed his brows and asked cautiously, not liking this at all.

Dean smirked and looked back at Sam, his eyes so cold they made Sam shiver. “I’ve got something in mind.” It was unsettling and Sam was scared for both himself, Dean and Castiel.

“Dean, what-“

“Hey, do you know Cass’ locker combination?”

\--

Thursday, October 18 Castiel did something he never would have expected. He fell asleep in class. Physics no less. The one class he had promised a friend he would work extra hard in so as to help said friend’s brother who also just so happened to be his crush. 

Dean hadn’t come to school with Sam that morning and Castiel was starting to get a bit worried. His knee bounced up and down uncontrollably and he often scratched his wrist leaving angry red nail marks on the fair skin, both nervous tics of his. It seemed the constant worry combined with his late night study session had taken its toll on him, causing the youngest Novak to be completely exhausted by the time of period four unable to keep his eyes open any longer and hence, falling asleep in class for the first time ever. History in the making right there.

One of his classmates clearly had pity on him because he was startled awake before the end of class. To Castiel’s surprise the hand that had shook his shoulder awake was familiar and he had to stop himself from giving the owner and sleepy hug in the middle of class. Dean was probably one of the few people Castiel would ever voluntarily engage in physical contact with and seeing him back after having no word of him for half the day was a relief.

“Late one last night, Cass?”

“Dean! I…” Castiel quickly hushed himself, thankfully only the table directly to their front and side paid any heed to his loud exclamation. “I had not heard any news of you or information about your whereabouts all day, I was getting worried.” Dean’s focus was solely on Cass; his expression lax and dreamy and he looked as though he was lost in Castiel’s eyes. Cass shook himself, he couldn’t think such things. 

“Yeah, sorry man. I was travelling to get something and just got back, don’t tell the teacher, he thinks I was in bed sick.” He raised a finger to his lips and Castiel followed the motion eagerly, eyes lingered longer than necessary on Dean’s mouth.

Castiel forced his eyes back to his work and started packing up, the bell would ring any second. “I’ll stay quiet, do not worry.”

Dean shifted his weight across his feet. He hadn’t sat down nor did he have his books for the lesson, no point since he would only be there for a few minutes. Cass wondered why he had come to the lesson anyway and not just gone to lunch early. “Hey, Cass. Sammy’s been looking for you, I think you should go to him the moment we get let out.”

“He has? But I saw him earlier.”

“Yeah, well he needs you now. Go straight there, okay?” Dean said clearly, unnecessary emphasis on the last part.

“O…kay…?”

Castiel’s curiosity abated when Dean’s eyes sparkled, bringing life and light to the hundreds of green shades, it blew all thoughts out of Castiel’s mind. “Great, see you later, Cass.” He dashed from the classroom a moment later, his voice just beat the bell.

Castiel gathered his many books, pressing their heavy forms tight against his chest before awkwardly shuffling out of the room to the sophomore section of the lockers. He hated carrying his books around and wanted to stop by his own locker to drop them off but Dean had said it was urgent and he didn’t want to hold one of his few friends up.

Sam was digging around in his own locker when Castiel arrived, slightly out of breath from lugging his gear up the stairs. He really needed to work out more often. “Sam!”

The way Sam’s long hair flopped around his face as he moved his head in the direction of Cass’ voice was rather humorous and Castiel wanted to giggle and pat Sam on the head but restrained himself as a) that would surely be considered as too-girly to warrant a positive response and b) Sam was far too tall for Cass to reach the top of his head to pat. 

“Cass, what are you doing here?”

Cue infamous Castiel head tilt here. “Did you not urgently require me?”

“Um…no…who told you that?”

“Dean.” Castiel answered promptly.

Sam worried his bottom lip and looked cautiously at Castiel. “Look, Cass…Dean’s up to something…I don’t know what but…just look out for yourself, man. Dean can be pretty self-destructive and sometimes those tendencies have a habit of hurting others too. Just…take care of yourself and him.” Sam warned.

Castiel was simultaneously curious and frightened by this, he cared about Sam and Dean and didn’t want to see either of them in trouble or hurt. “Yes, of course.” They said goodbye soon after that and Castiel wandered back to the senior lockers.

Unlocking his locker was a task Castiel could do mindlessly after years of practise, however opening his locker to find a gift was not something he had ever encountered before. Lying on the middle shelf was a pure white carnation, tenderly placed on the surface. Beneath it lay a soft blue envelope. Castiel could hear a few whispers start up from the neighbouring locker mates and he cursed the sudden interest in him as he gently picked up the blossom and held it close. Castiel always liked flowers, they were so beautiful, so graceful and strong. One of his father’s many blessings. He thought as he held it within his fingers, close to his chest now that he had deposited his books. 

Before Castiel picked up the card too he noticed something else placed inside his locker and he nearly squealed and danced at the sight of it. A box of carefully wrapped honey chocolate pieces from a small honey farm a few hours’ drive out of the city. 

Castiel remembered childhood Summers where he and his brothers would drive out to their cottage in the country, desiring simplicity over the elaborate international holidays they could easily afford. He remembered pulling his shoes on in the morning and walking off into the rising sun, exploring every little detail of the world around him and not coming back until the sun was setting. He remembered Michael waiting by the door for him with a steaming mug of tea every day when he would return, ready to patch up any wounds Cass had gotten from playing adventurer and an ear open and ready to hear his stories. He remembered the kindly old couple and their young son and their bee farm and the mouth-wateringly sweet golden honey chocolate that was their specialty. 

He loved that chocolate. It was chocolate and honey, what more could he say. But it was more than that. It tasted like memories and it filled Castiel with such warmth that nothing else mattered. He couldn’t resist ripping the package open and taking a bite of one, sighing into the familiar taste.

While he was licking chocolate off his fingers and chewing on the sweet he opened the envelope with his clean hand and read the message. It simply said ‘Room H8’. Castiel was curious as to who would know about the chocolate since he had only really told a few people, certainly not Michael or Lucifer who he knew would be making trips out there every week just for Cass if they knew. 

He locked his locker quickly and hastily made his way to the target room. The door was locked but stuck to the wood was another message. ‘Turn left. Down the hall. Turn right. Second door along.’ Castiel followed the instructions and again found another note leading him to another room. Finally he was lead to a room with no note on the door and Castiel wondered if he had made a mistake, he reread the last note to assure himself he hadn’t. This time however, he could hear gentle music playing from within and the door opened easily under his hand.

Hesitantly he stepped inside, taking a few more silent steps forward, surveying the empty room. All the desks were pushed to the side and an iPod speaker sat on the teacher’s desk, playing a familiar tune. Before Castiel could investigate any further the door slammed shut and he found himself being spun around and around under someone’s grip.

He let out a squeal that may not have been as masculine as he had hoped but he couldn’t see and his legs had flown out from beneath him and he was confused and shocked and suddenly he stopped. Arms were bracing his back, one across his shoulders and one wrapped tight around his waist. He was leaning back so far he could nearly touch the floor but the strong arms were holding him stable and upright. A bright grin and sparkling emerald eyes filled Castiel’s vision.

“Dean!” Castiel exclaimed breathlessly, eyes wide.

“You look cute like this, you know, Cass?” Castiel blinked a few times in misunderstanding and shock. “Flushed, messy hair, in my arms.” Dean smiled sated and genuine and Castiel felt his heart skip. “Why do you have to be so cute and gorgeous? It’s impossible to ignore you.”

“I…” Castiel was speechless. Was it Dean that lead him there? Was it Dean that left those gifts in his locker? Why?

Dean thankfully let Castiel back up, the smaller teen struggled to find his feet and not entirely because of the sudden twirling but because Dean was there, embracing him and smiling at him and it was just too much to handle.

“Thank you for playing along with me, Cass. I wanted to have a bit of fun.”

Castiel held a hand to his chest to catch his breath. “D-Dean…why are you-“

“Come on, Cass. I put this on for you.” Cass was suddenly dragged out by Dean’s eager grip to the middle of the floor. Before he knew it Dean’s hand was on his waist and the other was entwining his fingers with Castiel’s.

“Dean, what…” To say Castiel was confused was an understatement. His brain was processing everything too slow, he was breathless and lax and let Dean lead his body as they clumsily danced together. At least Cass’ body was keeping up, he feared if it didn’t he might be closer to becoming the literal representation of goo in the palm of Dean’s hand. After a few minutes of trying to pull his brain back to a functioning state and at least stop himself from tripping over nothing Castiel finally starting thinking again and promptly ignored all thoughts.

He was dancing with Dean. He was dancing with Dean. This was real. Before it was something that had only happened in his dreams and now it was real. Dean was here, breathing and alive and real beneath his fingertips and willing to dance with him in a mindless bliss and Cass was all too willing to join him. He knew the song, it was a classical composer, one Castiel liked a lot and once again wondered how Dean knew but in all honesty in that moment he didn’t care. He was grinning and being spun around and around again by Dean’s gentle hands and he was in heaven.

The music stopped and Castiel stilled. Breathing heavily and staring up at Dean, cerulean and emerald eyes full of life and laughter and joy and it was all so overwhelming Castiel felt his knees buckle again but Dean caught him and lead him to a desk to sit down on.

After a few minutes of silence, Castiel spoke. “What is all of this Dean? Why are you doing this?”

Dean smiled closed-mouthed and bright. “It’s for you Cass.”

“But why?”

Dean jumped off the table he was sitting at and stood directly in front of Castiel, taking Castiel’s hands in his and watching him with the most affection filled eyes Cass had seen since…well…since D.

“Because I like you, Cass. I like you a lot.” Castiel’s breath caught in his throat. “You make me feel happier than I have in a long, long time. I like you and I don’t just mean I find you attractive…well I do but…I just…” Dean scratched his neck nervously but his eyes never once left Castiel’s. “Everything about you…the way you talk, laugh. The way you fly off to your own little world in the middle of a conversation. The way you smile at the simplest of things because they’re beautiful in a way no one ever sees but you. The way you see the light in everyone even when they’re so swamped in darkness. Everything about you, Cass, you’re…you’re so wonderful.” 

Dean looked down at their interlocked hands for a while, catching his breath and retrieving his thoughts. When he looked up at Castiel again he had tears in his eyes but was smiling so bright through it all that Cass knew they were of joy. “I just can’t believe I can stand here in front of you, that I can dance with you, smile with you, laugh with you, when I really don’t deserve it. You’re so amazing and it’s just so much more than I ever hoped for.”

Castiel searched Dean’s eyes in disbelief but all he found was honesty. Pure, simple, sincere honesty. It was too much for Cass to handle and he was rendered completely mute.

“I really like you, Cass, and I would be honoured if you would even just consider having me as your boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean. DEAN STAHP. What are you doing, Dean?! Why aren't you telling Cass you're D? Dean, stahp! …hey, it's plot and will lead up to the major conflict of this story. Deal with it.


	10. Chapter 10

Day 64. Junior Year.

Current figures:  
Times beaten up or attacked: 11  
Times stolen from: 26  
Times bag taken and thrown it dumpster: 17…no, 18 now.  
Times I was thrown in dumpster with it: 6

…there was a new experience today.

Times saved: 1

Dean Winchester.

Dean

\--

Flashback:

More than one person’s fist was connecting with Castiel’s body. He could tell that much at least. He’d stopped paying much attention three minutes ago. Perhaps if he stayed still and tried to ignore the pain it’d disappear? …it didn’t. Worth a shot anyway. The blows were becoming fewer and far between, perhaps his attackers were getting bored? Exhausted maybe? It was only morning and they may have made themselves tired for the first few periods of the day, especially since Castiel knew they had all been out late at Lisa Braeden’s birthday party the previous night. They may not be able to pay much attention during class.

What an odd thought. Here he was getting pummelled and he was pondering the effect it would have on the energy and productivity levels of his attackers.

Oh, he’s moving now. Strong hands forced themselves under Castiel’s armpits, pulling him off the ground and dragging him somewhere to the left. His feet scraped along the ground in his wake. 

He noticed the smell first. Castiel likened it to somewhere between a sewer and sweaty socks. Ah, it was one of those days. He heard the lid open and the smell increased in intensity tenfold, attacking his nostrils and it felt like his nose hair was being singed. Cruel laughter filled the air; dripping with so much malice it was palpable. His eyes were still tightly shut, half because he did not want to see the wicked sneers on the faces of his attackers, and half because he was sure that if he opened them he would have lost the last barrier he held against uncontrollably teary eyes.

He was being lifted up now, feet left the ground as he rose higher and higher. Then he felt the forceful hands leave his body and he fell the short distance until he was swallowed up by decaying matter and broken waste and whatever it was that was creating the distinct smell of death. Blue eyes flew open at the sudden impact and the light flooded his eyes, blinding him for the briefest of moments before his vision was engulfed in complete darkness. They had shut the lid. The malevolent voices and laughter continued, now muffled by the wall of metal and garbage separating them from Castiel.

Days like these sucked because the bullying extended long after the culprits had left. No matter how hard he tried, Castiel would not be able to rid the smell of garbage off him without returning home and he did not have the time for such endeavours. Additionally he’d be walking around all day looking like he had gotten into a fight with a brick, which wasn’t all too far from the truth. The result was that he both looked and smelt like shit for an entire school day and his already crippled self-esteem withered under the inevitable fate of being teased for it.

He would wait until the bullies were gone before climbing out of the dumpster. He’d use a nearby tap to wash the majority of the grime and sludge and ick off his hair and skin. Then he’d wait until the bell rung and the hallways would be emptier so he could get to the spare change of clothes in his locker without much embarrassment. 

Today was different for more reasons than one.

It seemed his attackers had decided to up their game today. He heard a rattle of metal and a sharp click and Castiel knew they had found a lock and sealed the dumpster shut. A gap under the lid was the only source of light and air.

“Aww, don’t worry, freak,” The senior cooed in mocking affection, “the janitor will be here in a few hours…maybe.”

“Enjoy your stay with your only friends, reject. You have a lot in common!” 

Cruel, cruel laughter erupted again and Castiel sighed, sitting up in the bed of garbage and listening to the sounds of their retreating footsteps before groping blindly for his bag and the phone in its front pocket. On any other day he would wait things like this out, hating to bother anyone, specifically his family, with his problems despite their insistence that they wanted to help, but today Castiel had an exam in second period he couldn’t miss. His actions ceased when he heard an unfamiliar voice.

“Hey asswipes, I think you’re the ones better suited to make this your new home or are you too attached to the shithouses you currently live in?”

The voice was warm and smooth like honey and comforting like pumpkin soup in autumn and Castiel just wanted to wrap himself up in the sound alone. He didn’t hear much of it after that, just the occasional grunt or swear from the gang of bullies or the sound of fists meeting skin and feet running away before it went silent.

Castiel perked up, worried about the outcome of the fight and the fate of his saviour. He moved to the crack and tried to peer through but jumped back the moment he heard a loud, sharp bang. The noise continued repeatedly and rhythmically and Castiel realised he was trying to smash the lock off. Moment later the lid was reopened and Castiel could see again.

The bright sunlight felt like stepping into heaven after the darkness and it was all too fitting that the first sight Castiel was met with was a pair of heavenly, gorgeous green eyes with so many shades and flecks of hazel it felt like a whole world was trapped within the confines of his irises. Castiel was so lost in them he barely recognised that his saviour was helping him step out of the dumpster or that he was picking stray pieces of garbage off Castiel’s clothes or out of his hair or that he was silently guiding him over to the tap. Castiel washed himself dutifully before returning his full attention to the beautiful man in front of him.

“T-thank you very much.” He muttered dumbly.

Castiel didn’t believe this man could produce a more lovely sound than his voice however he realised just how wrong he’d been when the man laughed brightly. “No worries, those guys needed a good beat down.” His nose crinkled up adorably as he smiled and laughed, his many freckles followed the movement and Castiel wanted nothing more than to sit down and count them all. “I’m Dean.” He extended his hand.

“C-Castiel.” He hesitantly took it, shaking with next to no grip at all. “D-do you think they’ll be back?”

Dean’s smile dropped. “Yeah, probably. Maybe not today but they will be back.” Castiel looked down, forlorn and Dean jumped to cheer him back up. “Hey, blue eyes, don’t worry. I’ll stay with you. They won’t bother you if I’m here. I’ll protect you.” Castiel smiled at the thought, even though he knew the pseudo promise would never be filled out. It only happened once and the bullying resumed a few days later without Dean’s protection but it was the thought that counted.

It was the first time anyone outside of Castiel’s family had actually given a shit about him. It was the first time Castiel met Dean Winchester and it was the start of the world’s most pathetic love story.

(A/N: Woot! Chapter 10 and I’m only just now telling the story of how Cass and Dean met, this was supposed to happen in chapter 4. Damn I suck.)

\--

Castiel kept a journal on Michael’s request. Apparently psychologists thought it would be beneficial for him to write out his thoughts and feelings to better understand them and learn to convey them in a healthy manner. Little good it had done. Castiel likened it to an easy access sneak peek into just how disturbed he really was.

The entries were pretty much all the same. An almost scientific recount of an even from an outsiders perspective even if it pertained to him. A short sentence or two about D or Dean or his family that usually came out too cold and detached despite his attempts at an affectionate tone (he could only write emotionally if it was fiction or not about himself). Some twisted view of an aspect of the world that really shouldn’t ever be seen by such a perspective. Sometimes there were pages upon pages detailing some random fact because he was prone to rambling and talking about something odd and completely irrelevant to the situation. There was even a spread of eight pages on birds’ wings including a meticulously drawn fold-out diagram. 

On occasion he would let his brothers read one of two pages. He was certain his brothers had been expecting something wonderful and insightful. Instead it was like going on a glass bottom boat trip over a swamp or a polluted stream. Castiel was sure they were disappointed by the realisation of just how fucked up he was. Their reactions were always the same. Castiel was observant; he picked things up but never quite understood them. He always noted a blend of affection and enthusiasm mixed with awkward despair and confusion in his brothers’ expressions at what he wrote. ‘60% enthusiasm. 40% despair.’ Castiel scientifically noted in the corner of one page about earthworms.

Castiel let out a yawn and nibbled his lower lip absently until he tasted a tang of iron on his tongue. He brought a clean hand to his lips and had removed it with two fingers smeared in blood. He sighed and lapped at the wound with his tongue.

Castiel had been attempting to write about Dean asking him out earlier that day but was stumbling over the words. The thought of dating Dean was always a dream but now that it was within his reach it felt terrifying. Oddly enough, one of his greatest hesitancies to saying yes (since Dean had given him time to think about his answer) was that he felt guilty…like he was betraying D and he honestly had no idea why. In an attempt to ease himself into writing the entry or at least entertain himself for a while he flicked through the pages of his journal, idly rereading certain paragraphs about Dean that caught his eye. It wasn’t particularly entertaining or helpful but it’d do.

His gaze moved to the window and he watched droplets of water smack against the glass and drip slowly downwards, creating patterns of the paths they took. Little things like this interested Castiel so he slowly rose from where he was lying on his bed and he padded barefoot across the room and nestled himself up on the window ledge, knees to his chest and cheek resting on the glass. Who know how long he spent there but it was probably close to half an hour before he heard a knock on his door and Lucifer’s head peeked around it. He knew something was wrong. Luci was the only one out of his brothers that never knocked (Michael said it was a privacy thing, Gabriel because he personally hated people walking in on him), Luci always just barged in, so if he was being cautious now then there was a problem.

“Michael told me to call you downstairs.” Lucifer said with a confused tone so Castiel knew he didn’t have a clue to what the problem was but he asked anyway. “Dunno, but Michael…he looks pretty serious…I wouldn’t hold him up too long…okay, maybe I would but you shouldn’t.”

Slowly pulling himself away from the peaceful patter of rain on his window, Castiel hesitantly moved downstairs. He pulled on a cream knit sweater to fight the chill before leaving.

Michael was sitting at the small breakfast table in the kitchen. He was completely silent and still. When he noticed Castiel’s quiet entry he didn’t stand up and hug Castiel like the youngest had expected. “Cass, sit down.” Michael’s voice was grave and the tone was so uncommon that Castiel abided quickly. “How was school?”

This was the beginning of Michael’s usually roundabout method of getting Cass to calm down. It never worked.

“Fine.” 

Michael had expected that short answer but it didn’t discourage him. “Any trouble with your studies?”

“None.” 

Playing with his lower lip, Michael continued “Made any new friends?”

“No.”

Michael had at least given up now, to which Castiel was grateful. He hated chats like that. “Anna called yesterday.” The statement was simple and betrayed no emotion.

“Oh.”

Michael worried his lip, a distinctly Novak trait. “And Mary Winchester called on Sunday.”

Castiel knew where this was going. “Michael, I-“

“Cass, you should have told us if you were still having so much trouble. If you’re having panic attacks this regularly then we need to-“

Raven hair danced wildly as Castiel shook his head with vigour. “Michael, they were very minor. There’s really nothing to be worried about.”

One of Michael’s large hands found purchase on the back of Cass’ neck, fingers toying the shortest hairs there. “Cass, please, we just want to help.” He tore his hand back and moved them to an awkwardly stiff position by his sides. “I called dad.”

“No.” Castiel mumbled instantly, cursing internally. If this got to dad then the charge was certainly worse.

“He thinks we should take you out of school. We’ll set up a-“

“No.” His tone was firm this time.

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at Cass helplessly. “He’s got a point here. Please just think about it, Cass. We’re just trying to help.”

“No. I’m not letting you do this to me. Not now. I have friends there, for the first time in my life I have friends. I have a support network that I won’t be able to rebuild. I’m fine there, really, I’ve just had an eventful week and it’s a bit hard to deal with.” Castiel tried to explain in a calm, composed voice but he knew it was coming out rushed and panicky and wouldn’t help his argument at all.

Michael looked so regretful and upset that it made Castiel worry. “Just listen to yourself, Cassie. If you’re having difficulty dealing with such a lifestyle we need to help you, get you someplace quieter and take baby steps.”

“I said no. I’m in my senior year, Michael! You can’t do this to me now. And it’s really not that bad, I promise.” Castiel’s breath was short and shallow and he knew Michael noticed it too. Dammit, that was the last thing he wanted to happen in this argument.

After sighing and rubbing his temples more, Michael stood up and took a step forward and wrapped an arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “Please, Cassie. Don’t fight me on this, we’re just doing what’s best for-“

He was cut short by the fist that made contact with his gut. Hard. Knocking the air out of his chest and causing him to double over, letting go of the grip on Castiel that the youngest had begun to think of as a restraint rather than an affectionate gesture.

“No, you’re not! You’re being selfish and inconsiderate. Dad can’t help me. He doesn’t know me, you have to actually be a part of my life to know me. And You and Gabe and Luc…it’s always like this! It’s always babying me left right and centre and I’m sick of it! I’m sick of feeling like a child around you. Like I’m inadequate and fragile. I’m seventeen now, Michael, I can make my own choices and I do not need you there, mapping out my life for me.”

“Cassie-“

“You think you’re being helpful but you’re not!” Castiel had never gotten this angry with one of his brothers before and he couldn’t tell whether he liked it or not. The excitement rushed through him, fire pleasantly running through his veins. “Tell dad that neither of you have any right to control me like this.”

Castiel stomped on Michael’s foot for good measure and he wondered when he had gotten so confident as he walked off. He begrudgingly hi-fived Lucifer where he stood on the steps, impressed by what he had overheard and Cass finally showing some spine…and also probably because it was Michael getting hurt as a result.

\--

Lucifer’s POV

Lucifer looked up from the papers he was bent over, an assignment he was working on for college that was due in soon and he was never fond of pulling all-nighters, tired eyes made out Castiel’s form in the dark. His small frame lingering in the hallway and Lucifer felt a pang of affection in his chest that he only ever held for his two younger brothers.

“Luc?” Castiel’s voice was rough, raw and it set alarms off in Lucifer’s head.

The blond jumped out of his chair instantaneously, crossing the large room in just three strides and grasping his brother’s shoulders in his hands. “Cassie, what’s wrong? Is this about your fight with Michael? Do I need to beat his head in again, cos I’d be more than happy to.”

Castiel shook his head. “Nothing…just…I’m dealing with a lot right now, you know?” He answered dismally with eyes cold and downcast. 

Lucifer enveloped Castiel’s shorter frame and rubbed soothing circles between his shoulder blades. “It’ll pass, anything I can do for now?”

Castiel sunk into the embrace and that’s when Lucifer really knew something was wrong. Castiel always hated physical contact and he hadn’t expected anything more than a brief, comforting caress. “I just need someone with me. My best friend’s abandoned me and…” He trailed off, butting his head against Lucifer’s chest a few times as if to clear it. “Luci, would you stay with me for a while?”

“Hmm.” 

Slender hands wrapped themselves around Lucifer’s waist and grasped the fabric of his shirt tight. “I don’t want to be alone right now. I hate it.”

Lucifer chuckled. “Of course.” He pulled back slightly but didn’t break the embrace. “It can’t just be Michael…what’s gotten you so down in the dumps that you’re actually being sociable? Is it this friend of yours?” Castiel didn’t answer so he dropped it. “Okay, what do you want to do?”

“Can we take Fenrir for a walk?”

Lucifer blanched. “The filthy mutt?”

“Gabe’ll strangle you if he hears you say that.” Castiel shone him a gummy grin. “C’mon, he’s been dying to see you.”

The littlest Novak bent down and heaved the fat pooch off the ground. It waved it’s flailing body in Lucifer’s face, saliva flying everywhere as it flapped and slobbered excitedly. He groaned, sometimes he was just too nice to his younger brothers. “It’s like…eight o’clock, Cass…you sure?”

Castiel nodded enthusiastically as he clipped on the dog’s leash. They snuck past the kitchen where Michael was sitting , nursing a glass of whiskey in his hands, obviously distraught from his earlier fight with Cass since he was always too prudish just to drink for the hell of it. They slid out the front doorway and into the chilly night air. Castiel seemed utterly enthralled by the stars that scattered the sky now that the rainclouds had gone. It took a whole minute for Lucifer to get him to look away and continue their journey onwards.

They walked around idly for about twenty minutes in complete silence, enjoying the night air, fresh after the rain and the way the water droplets seemed to make everything sparkle. Lucifer kept quiet, waiting for Castiel to speak first as he knew that the purpose of this was to comfort Cass and provide companionship, rather than to chitchat. 

“Have you ever had a crush on someone?” Castiel’s voice was so soft it seemed to float off in the light breeze, lost as it sailed towards the heavens and Lucifer had to strain to hear it.

“Yeah, I suppose. Mostly just the wow-I-find-you-attractive crushes but there were a few more serious ones.”

Castiel passed Fenrir’s leash in between his hands a few times purely for something to do before speaking again. “There’s someone I really like.”

After seventeen years of knowing his youngest brother, Lucifer couldn’t help the grin that claimed his lips. “Really? Our little Cassie’s got his first crush? Aww.”

“No babying!”

Lucifer tried to hide his smile and failed. “Where’s this coming from though? We were sure you were asexual or something for a while.”

Castiel blinked up at Lucifer and the blond felt his smile grow almost painfully wide. He loved Cass’ eyes because, as much as his expression and body language tended to hide his emotions, his eyes always spoke the truth with such intensity you could be blown away. “I-I…I may be, I don’t know yet. I haven’t ever really had…well…you know.”

“Oh.” Lucifer scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Well, you could be one of those romantic orientations I’ve heard about. You should talk to Michael; he’s been studying that stuff for a while because of you.” Castiel grimaced at the suggestion and Luci laughed. “I understand completely. No talking to Michael then.”

They walked on again in companionable silence. “I really, really like him.”

“Him? So it’s a guy. Someone I know?”

“Luci!” He punched his elder brother’s arm playfully. “Well, I’ve liked him for a while now and…” Lucifer had to hold back from rushing Cass, he knew that would have detrimental effects but the almost minute-long silence was frustrating. “H-he asked me out.” Voice once again almost inaudible.

“Really? Well, Casanova, good job! So when’s your first date?”

“No, you don’t understand! I-I…I can’t.” Castiel looked down and kicked at a stone by his foot, Fenrir pawed at it when it rolled over to him. “He’s perfect. He’s gorgeous and popular and compassionate and well-loved and…I’m none of that! We live in different worlds, Luci! We can’t…we just can’t…” Castiel’s lower lip quivered.

“Cassie…I hate to sound rude but…” Lucifer stared at Castiel intensely and he withered under the gaze, “who cares? None of that crap matters. Trust me, indulge yourself with this or you’ll regret it. Cease the moment, carpe diem, yadda yadda. Fuck, Cassie, you’re acting like you’re in a day time soapie. You like this boy. He likes you. Go get him!”

Castiel looked like someone had just given him the key to his shackles and he gave Luci one of his rare, genuinely happy smiles before throwing Fenrir’s leash at him and darting off. Lucifer followed close behind. After a few minutes of running they stopped in front of a small, one story house. Lucifer was panting but Cass looked much worse for wear, he didn’t exercise nearly as much as any of his older brothers.

Castiel ran up to the front door, fist pummelling on the peeling blue wood. It was opened wide by a giant teenage who, at sight of Cass’ questioning expression and temporal lack of ability to talk, pointed at the stairs and Castiel darted off in the direction. A woman appeared next to the teen, she had beautiful flowing blonde hair and she looked like she had just come out of a beauty commercial despite obviously being about to go to bed.

“Sam?” The teen turned his head in her direction. “Was that Castiel?” she questioned.

“Y-yeah.” 

“Oh,” she muttered at the sight of Lucifer. “Um…hello, I’m Mary Winchester. Sorry about my appearance, I didn’t think we were having guests over.”

“Lucifer Novak.”

Mary smiled. “Ah, so I finally get to meet the final Novak boy. It’s a pleasure.” Lucifer nodded politely.

“Like the devil?” Sam questioned.

Lucifer hated this question and yet it was always asked upon meeting. He glared at Sam. “Yes, like the devil.”

Sam seemed to get that he didn’t want to talk about his unfortunate name and changed topic. “What’s Cass doing here?” He demanded. “What has my brother done this time?”

“You’re probably one step ahead of me in this little mystery, Sammy.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Seems we’ve both got name issues, right Sammy?”

“Shut up.”

\--

Dean’s POV

It took Dean approximately four hours and eighteen minutes for the realisation that he had actually asked Castiel out to dawn on him.

The thought of what he did today both excited and terrified him. Dean’s whole world (or at least most of it if you include Sam and Mary) had been standing right in front of him as he asked the question he had been dying to ask properly for months since he first fell hard for those cerulean orbs and awkwardly adorable charm. Luckily he didn’t lose his cool and ruin his whole plan.

He wasn’t at all proud of it but it was for the best. He had reason for not telling Cass straight up that he was D. Dean had to do it. He knew it would hurt Cass and he hated himself for that. In the short term it would be Dean’s best dreams come true, in the long term it would be another lesson for Cass to learn (something he needed to learn) and for Dean to iron out. It needed to happen and no matter how crap it made him feel, Dean was determined to do it.

Castiel had looked hesitant and worried when Dean had asked and the nervous part of his brain had told him that he was wrong, that Castiel didn’t actually like Dean and he was imagining the whole thing. The more rational part of his brain had told him it was just in Castiel’s personality and he needed to give him time to think. So Dean had left Castiel to ponder his proposal and get back to him the next day.

Dean was laying spread out on his bed, remembering the way Cass had done the same a few days before, or the way Castiel’s skin felt under his fingertips, or the way C’s lips felt pressed against his own. He was so close to realising his dreams come true and it was driving him mad. He jumped when he heard an impatient knock at the door, startling him out of his fantasies for Cass. He threw open the door, ready to tear Sam a new one for annoying him but was met with the sight of the dishevelled love-of-his-life.

“Cass?” He managed to force out breathlessly.

Dean suddenly got an armful of Cass as the smaller boy practically jumped him. His slender arms wrapped around Dean, resting on his shoulders and Castiel tucked his head into the crook of Dean’s neck. Caught between confusion and affection, Dean slowly wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist and pulled him closer. They stayed like that for a while, sharing body heat and breathing into each other’s skin, Dean taking in the dizzyingly addictive scent of Castiel and the softness of his fluffy sweater and trenchcoat before Castiel whispered something inaudible.

“What was that, Cass?”

Castiel turned his head, still leaning on Dean but enough so that his sparkling, bright blue eyes could look into Dean’s. Dean was caught between focusing on Castiel’s beautiful eyes of the way his soft, pink, totally kissable, lips moved as they formed the word ‘yes’.

“Yes?” Dean repeated in question.

Castiell grinned in the way that always made Dean’s heart stop for a second. “Yes.” He pulled away slightly and rested his forehead against Dean’s own. “Yes, I would love to be your boyfriend.”

Dean felt all the breath vacate his lungs and swore his heart had stopped beating. He had been waiting for this moment but that didn’t mean he was at all prepared for it. Not knowing what else to do, Dean pressed his lips against Castiel’s. It was soft and vanilla and heavenly. Dean couldn’t help but smile into the kiss and felt Cass do the same. Dammit, Cass was perfect and Dean didn’t think he could love him anymore but here he was, being proven wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! So they're finally an official couple! Oh, and guess what…D comes back next chapter! It's been a while.
> 
> I've been developing some ideas for 2 Destiel oneshots (one fluff, one smut) and am entertaining the idea of a Supernatural and Warehouse 13 crossover. Thoughts?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, purely fluffy chapter today.

Castiel felt himself become giddy with happiness in the blink of an eye and gave himself a mental pat on the back for having to courage to come say yes to Dean without freaking out. They had spent the next hour or so alternating between chatting and cuddling like a gooey, cringe-worthy couple but they honestly couldn’t care less. Being in each other’s presence felt too amazing to care. Lucifer had given them that much time to be together before he insisted they leave. Castiel said goodbye to Dean with promises to sit with his friends the following day at lunch since Dean had done the same the day prior. 

When Castiel returned home he collapsed onto his bed and grinned into his bed, the euphoria of the knowledge that he was not officially dating Dean Winchester still bubbled inside him, igniting him as it sent tingles all the way through his body and down to his toes. Blindly groping to his right Castiel reached for his journal and flipped it open to the latest and half-written entry and finished it with enthusiasm. When he was finished he rolled onto his back, tucking the book to his chest and staring at the ceiling. His mind was still catching up with him. He couldn’t believe he was actually dating Dean Winchester. It took quite a while for him to steady his breath and calm his heart which was greatly affected purely by the mere thought of his new relationship status and new boyfriend. He had no idea how he’d survive when they actually went on a date. Of course, the thought of a proper date triggered it all over again.

The sound of a clear bell chime resonated through the room, bouncing off the walls and filling Castiel’s ears. He sat up abruptly, journal falling to the ground at the movement. Cass blinked a few times, sure it was in his imagination but there it was again. He jumped up instantly and practically threw himself over to his desk. Castiel hadn’t heard that sound since Tuesday and despite it only being absent for a few days, he regarded it as a precious gift.

D: Evening  
How was your day?

C: D?  
You’re talking to me again!

D: Of course I am

C: But on Tuesday you said you did not want to speak to me ever again.

D: Yeah, well…I miss you too.

C: D, please tell me I’m not dreaming?

D: Do you usually dream about me? You think about me in bed? Wow, I’m flattered.

C: That’s my D. I missed you.

D: It was only 2 days

C: It felt like forever.

D: Lol yeah it did

C: I thought you weren’t going to talk to me ever again.  
I was scared.  
I never realised how huge a part of my life you are until you left  
Please don’t do it again. It hurt.

D: …  
Wow, C.  
Okay, screw sleeping. We’re meeting up. Now.

C: I thought you would never ask.

As soon as he got all the details Castiel jumped out of his chair and chucked on his trenchcoat faster than he thought was humanly possible. He had to stop himself as he reached for his bedroom door. His brothers would never let him out this late to go meet up with someone who was (technically) a stranger in a private location. Turning slowly, Castiel faced his window and sighed. He prayed his brothers were asleep by now or at least thought that Cass was before turning off his lights, stuffing pillows under his covers to make it appear like he was in there sleeping, and climbed out the window.

\--

Dean was starting to think calling Cass out had been a bad idea but at the same time he needed this. It was still pretty hard not to separate C and Cass despite them just being two sides of the same person. He needed to see C, to solidify the fact that this wasn’t actually a dream. 

He sighed, rubbing his finger over a scratch on the hood of the impala for the umpteenth time that night and made a mental note to buff it out that weekend. Dean shuffled backwards on the hood so he could now fully recline against the windscreen. He had recently polished his baby so now she reflected the hundreds of visible stars in the sky across her sleek black frame. Dean felt his body relax and all his stress and worries seep out of his skin as he star gazed.

He was startled out of his reverie at the sound of feet and crunching leaves and a faint light. He twisted around just in time to watch Castiel clumsily pad his way towards Dean and trip over his own feet, nearly falling to the ground.

“Ddddd!” Castiel whined adorably. “I can’t even see my feet, how do you expect me to navigate my way over to you?”

Dean chuckled. “Sorry, here you go.” He quickly leant over, reaching into the car and stretching as far as he could to flick the headlights on and illuminate the path to Cass.

“Thanks, it’s not like I needed that a while ago or anything.” He drawled sarcastically and held his hands up. They were grazed and slightly bloodied, obviously from bracing himself when he fell.

Without moving from the hood, Dean beckoned Cass over and took his hands silently. Gently and affectionately he brushed the gravel and dirt from his palms and placed sweet kisses on the skin. Castiel’s light blush was illuminated by subtle moonlight. 

“Sorry.” Dean whispered into Castiel’s palms as they locked eyes. He meant more than just about Cass’ injury.

“S’okay.” Castiel replied dumbly with a sated little smile, obviously he was more affected by Dean’s display of affection than he realised.

Dean’s lips upturned and he pressed them once more against Castiel’s hands for good measure. “C’mon.” He flicked his head to the side as he jumped off the hood. Swiftly he stopped the engine and took the keys, his hand never leaving Castiel’s as he did so. His cheeks ached as he grinned widely when he felt Castiel’s hand move so his fingers could entwine with Dean’s. He gave Cass a consoling squeeze, knowing it was a gesture more of longing and reassurance that Dean was really there and he wouldn’t leave again rather than a romantic gesture. 

Dean pocketed his keys and his spare hand fumbled around in the inner pocket of his leather jacket before pulling out a small torch and taking off into the trees in determined strides.

“D! Where are we-?”

“Shh…” He pressed a finger to Castiel’s soft lips, allowing himself a few short moments to relish in the feeling. He leant in close so his breath would wash over Castiel’s face. “Just follow me, okay?” Dean absolutely adored the way Castiel’s face would be covered in a dusting of pink whenever he did something like this. He resented that he could only see the delicious blush on his ears due to the angel mask still firmly covering half of Castiel’s face but he knew it was still there and it made his heart soar.

“O-okay.” This was obviously making Castiel swoon, Dean thought smugly.

Dean had to use every ounce of strength not to either kiss or laugh at Castiel at that moment. They were already dating – even if Castiel didn’t fully know it – and here he was flirting with Cass like the horny teen he was like the first few times they met. At the memory that yes, he was dating Castiel, it felt like Dean’s heart had migrated to his throat. He leant his forehead against Castiel’s and just stared into his questioning cerulean depths through their masks.

“Uh…D? Is there a problem?”

Dean jumped back. Right. He was D and not Dean at the moment and of course Cass wouldn’t react too positively to things like this.

“Oh, right.” Dean decidedly stopped his flirting and affectionate gestures for now, however he still allowed himself to hold Castiel’s hand. He wouldn’t give up the small, electric touch so easily. “What’s the time, C?”

“Approximately 11:07. Why?”

“When do your brothers expect you back?” Dean asked, looking over his shoulder at Cass.

Blue eyes glinted mischievously as Cass smirked. “They don’t.”

Dean wolf-whistled. “Getting rebellious now, are you, C? Sneaking out…what’s next? A tattoo?”

“Yeah, it’ll read ‘shut up and keep walking, D.’”

Dean laughed heartily. He’d missed this. This playful bickering he’d come to love. It seemed like Castiel had the same thought at that moment because the next thing the smaller boy said was “I missed you.”

Fuck restraint because there was no way Dean would have been able to stop himself hugging Cass in that moment. “I know.” He placed more kisses to the top of Cass’ head, breathing in the flowery scent wafting from his silky locks. “I know. It won’t happen again.”

Castiel sniffed and rubbed at his nose and Dean wondered when he’d started crying but he could hear the smile in Castiel’s voice when he spoke. “You better not, or I’d smite you.”

Dean playfully knocked Cass on the back of his head. “You do realise that you’re not actually an angel, right?”

“That you know of.” Castiel smiled smugly up at him and to hell if that wasn’t intentional flirting because Dean honestly felt his entire body heat up purely by the sight of it. There was poor lighting and Castiel’s face was half-covered too! He so badly wanted to see all of these little expressions fully and noted to make that happen at a later date when he was alone with his boyfriend…and perhaps a few new expressions too.

“More like an imp at the moment.” Dean teased.

They continued slipping through the trees like water until they reached a clearing. Dean didn’t usually come here since it required some off-road driving the impala wasn’t entirely suited for. The woods themselves were about a twenty minute walk from Castiel’s house and the clearing was in the centre. He’d found it last year. Sam, his father and him often practised shooting in these woods and after his death Dean had frequently run away from home and come here to think and in his wandering he had found this place. It quickly became his favourite place to clear his mind and relax. It was a personal place, his own special zone just for him and now he wanted to share it with Castiel.

“D, this is amazing!”

Dean crossed his arms and smirked. “It’s nothing in the middle of a sea of trees. Seems pretty un-amazing to me or are you just one of those ‘simple pleasures – simple mind’ kind of guys?” 

Castiel attempted to stomp on Dean’s feet but the latter knew him too well and predicted his movement, moving out of the way before he even came close. Castiel stomped off in mock-hurt. He stared at the stars for a few minutes; pure, unadulterated happiness flooded his expression. “It’s beautiful, D.”

“Sure, it’s pretty but it’s really just a place for me to think.”

Castiel looked at him hopelessly, like Dean was a child who couldn’t understand his ABCs or the most simple of concepts. “You are not a deep thinker, are you, D? Do you not see?”

“See what? I just brought you here ‘cause I wanted to be alone with you. There isn’t anything here.”

“Exactly!” Castiel exclaimed.

Dean furrowed his brows. “You’re crazy.”

Castiel giggled. “The best people always are.”

Well, that was something. If this was Cass at school he’d get all embarrassed and nervous and hurt but here, with what he believed to be anonymity, he embraced his oddness. Shows how much a simple mask could affect someone. Castiel rocked on his heels and fidgeted restlessly. He looked grounded. Too grounded. He was holding back for Dean’s sake but Castiel needed to be free, to spread his wings, and Dean wanted nothing more than to give him that and witness the beauty of Cass wild personality which he’d only seen a handful of times before.

“So, are you going to explain it to me or are you just going to stand there, giggling cutely?” Dean prompted and watched in awe as Castiel’s eyes glinted with life.

Castiel spread his arms out and raised his head to the sky. “You’re right, there is nothing here…but that’s what makes it special.” Dean wanted him to elaborate more but he had learnt the hard way not to rush an introvert’s thoughts so he waited patiently while Castiel’s mind raced. He flicked his cerulean eyes back to Dean so quickly he could hardly see the movement. “What is currently occurring back home, back at civilisation?”

Dean was a little shocked by the question but answered through his confusion. “Um…I don’t know? Most people would be sleeping, I guess?”

“But you do not know for sure.” Castiel moved closer. “There could be a huge fire across the city, or a flood. We don’t know.”

Castiel was grinning and Dean still didn’t understand why. “Yeah, I suppose…but I’m pretty sure we could tell if there was a massive fire, not that hard, Sherlock. What’s your point?”

“My point is, D, that here it’s just us. The world is still turning, people are continuing their lives back there completely oblivious to us and us to them and that’s just perfect. It’s perfect because nothing else matters right now, nothing but us.” Castiel moved closer and closer to Dean until they were just inches away from each other.

“C…”

“Don’t you see, D? You’re my best friend and this,” he gestured between them, “What we have…it’s perfect. We’re not affected by what happens out there.” He gestured back to the direction of civilisation. “It’s not important who you really are or who I really am, all that’s important is that we can share this with each other.” Castiel’s hands lifted to Dean’s cheeks, cradling his face delicately and affectionately, thumbs toying with the edges of Dean’s mask. “So please, please don’t make me give that up. Please don’t take that away from me.”

Dean sighed and relaxed into the touch, feeling as though his entire body had melted right then and there. This was the Castiel he first fell in love with. This was the beautiful, pure soul that had shone so bright it left Dean in awe and with fingers outstretched, desperately grasping for that light. Shaking his head lightly, Dean composed himself and leant in closer to Cass so their breaths were mingling. He had to stop himself from kissing Cass, remembering once again that he was D right now.

“…okay.” Dean mumbled out then blurted the first thing that came to mind. “Can I kiss you?”

Castiel bit his lip and looked down thoughtfully, hesitantly. “I suppose you can if you must.”

At Castiel’s approval Dean moved in slowly, allowing their lips to play a hair’s breadth between each other before closing the gap. It was different to their kisses a few hours prior, this one was softer, hesitant yet all the more sweet. It was so lovely, even if it was only short, that Dean could hardly think about how Cass had technically just been unfaithful on him with…himself…god, this was a weird predicament.

When they separated Cass slammed his hand over Dean’s mouth. “No more of that from now on, okay? That was just a courtesy.” Dean could only nod. He didn’t know that Castiel’s mind was racing at how familiar that press of lips had felt.

“Okay, but I totally deserved that and more.” Dean teased. As Cass turned to walk away Dean reached forward and groped Cass, chuckling at the way the smaller boy jumped and shivered violently. Dean gave him a mock-innocent expression when Cass turned to glare at him.

“You know that could be considered sexual harassment, right? Keep it up and I could sue you.”

“Hmm,” Dean hummed, raking his eyes suggestively over Castiel’s body, “worth it.”

They quietly made their way to the centre of the clearing and laid down, watching the stars flicker across the dark blue curtain of sky in companionable silence, their hands held together between them. 

“So, anything new since I saw you last?” Dean prompted, hoping to get the ‘yeah, I’m now dating my crush’ line.

Castiel flicked his eyes over to Dean. “My brother is being too overprotective and is trying to take me out of school but other than that there is nothing of import.”

Dean didn’t know what to think of that. Surely them going out would be considered of ‘import’. Perhaps Castiel was trying to spare his feelings, knowing that a few days before D had been jealous of Dean. He groaned at the realisation that for months he had actually been jealous of himself. Fucking irony. Dean desperately wanted Cass to explain he was taken, he wanted reassurance that Cass was just as invested into this relationship as Dean.

“Are you sure?”

Castiel rolled his eyes and poked Dean in the stomach. “Yes, I’m sure.”

At Castiel’s denial Dean decided to alter his approach. “Yeah, well, I’m now dating someone else.”

Castiel sat up abruptly. “What?” He demanded and rolled over, planting his hands firmly on either side of Dean’s head and he leant over him in a way that was so distinctly sexual Dean had to congratulate himself on his self-control. “Are you serious? B-but I thought…”

“You thought I would never go for anyone other than you ever again? Wow, C, self-centred much.” Dean completed smugly. “And I know something’s changed in your life, you shine brighter than before. So what is it?” actually Dean just knew first hand, but he wasn’t going to tell Cass that.

Castiel blushed; once again it was only visible on his ears due to that damn mask. “I-I…well, don’t be upset but…I’m dating someone too.”

Dean smirked; glad to have weaselled this out of Cass. “Your guy?” Castiel nodded shyly. “He’s lucky.”

Castiel grinned. “I’m the lucky one to have both of you in my life.”

Dean nearly burst out laughing at the irony of that statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting so many reviews of people saying they can't wait for Castiel to find out. YOU CAN WAIT. YOU DO NOT WANT HIM TO FIND OUT. TRUST ME ON THIS. IT WON'T BE PRETTY.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This filler chapter was made for Zavijah! She reviewed last chapter that she was annoyed at Cass for flirting with D after he had gotten together with Dean and I completely agree! It was pretty out of line! But don't get too angry at Cass, he doesn't know any better. So I made this short filler chapter for you so I can try to clear up that he wasn't intentionally being unfaithful...while filling out my quota of fluff.
> 
> Sorry this is a bit late. I had my prom and one of my friends accidentally slammed a car door on my hand when we were waiting to arrive and it bruised three of my fingers. I didn't really want to write anything until it healed a bit.

Cass arrived at school on Friday early, just how he liked it so he could relax and ease into the school day before it started, but he was accosted by Anna and Balthazar the moment he stepped through the door. “Cassie, where were you last night? We were hanging out and Balthy and I tried to call you but you didn’t pick up.”

Castiel sighed dejectedly knowing there was no way he could get away with lying to his relatives, they all knew him and his mannerisms too well. “I was with Dean.”

A grin broke out on Anna’s face. “Oh, really? So Gabe’s joke turned out to be real then?” She teased, making a reference to Gabriel joking about Dean and Cass dating before it became a reality. Castiel nodded stiffly.

“Wait a minute, what’s happening? What’s this about a Dean? Dean Winchester?”

Anna nudged Balthazar in the arm. “Yep. Him and Cassie are dating.”

Balthazar half gaped, half smiled lopsidedly at him in awe and was obviously impressed by his cousin’s new relationship status. “Our little Casanova’s growing up! Since when?”

Castiel rolled his eyes, a gesture that would have been foreign a few months ago. “Last night actually.”

It was almost impossible for Anna to not jump up and down and squeal at the news. “Oh my god, Cass! You need to tell us everything.”

“I am under no obligation to do such a thing.”

Balthazar slung an arm around Castiel’s shoulders and dragged him off someplace quiet to sit. “You’re acting like we’re actually giving you a choice.” Castiel spent the next ten minutes retelling how Dean had asked him out and how Cass had accepted, much to Anna’s delight, and answering questions as to how their relationship developed.

“Did you stay over all night? I know you were still out until late. Gabe told me you weren’t in your room.” Castiel startled at the news that Gabriel knew he had snuck out but hadn’t said anything about it and his mind flashed to the smug smirks Gabe had beamed his way this morning.

“Really?” Balthazar drawled out teasingly and wolf-whistled. “I am so proud of you, Cass.”

Castiel threw his hands up defensively. “No, it’s not like that! I wasn’t with Dean later anyway.”

Both cousins perked up at this. “D?” Cass nodded. It seemed like everyone in this family endeavoured to know everything about him, including about his anonymous best friend. “I thought you guys were fighting.”

Castiel’s face lit up. “He was willing to forgive me.”

“Gabe told me you were really upset after fighting. That couldn’t have been a nice make up.”

Castiel shook his head. “Surprisingly it wasn’t.”

“What the hell did you guys do?”

Castiel idly picked at the peeling wood of the bench they were sitting on, pondering whether or not to tell them, his time with D seemed personal, special, private. “Nothing much; talked, hugged, joked about, watched the stars.” Balthazar and Anna shared a wary look with each other. “What is it?”

“Um…Cass…was that the best idea?”

Castiel blinked a few times in uncertainty and confusion. “Why would it be a bad idea?”

“That’s pretty…romantic. Cass what-“

Balthazar cut in. “So…let me get this straight. You just got together with lover boy…and then you decide to sneak out in the dead of night to be with someone else? Cassie, don’t you think that’s a little…unfaithful?”

Castiel’s eyes flickered around as if following the path of his racing thoughts as they swirled through his mind. “Was it?” His expression became more and more grave. “Oh god!” He never blasphemed unless it was really bad. “I wasn’t even three hours into our relationship and I’ve already cheated on him!” Castiel covered his eyes. “I’m a horrible boyfriend. I need to go apologise to Dean right now.”

“Cass.” Anna held him back, an affectionate smile plastered on her glossy lips. “You are the biggest dolt ever, you know that, right?”

“Pardon?”

“You’re so innocent that you couldn’t even tell being with another guy was wrong!” Balthazar ruffled Castiel’s hair adoringly. “I don’t think Dean could ever blame you or get angry with you for that. If he does he isn’t worth it.”

Castiel felt like hyperventilating at this realisation. He honestly hadn’t intended to be anything other than consoling and friendly to D. “B-but you don’t understand…D and I…” Castiel tucked his chin into the collar of his shirt in a half-hearted attempt to hide his face. “…I kissed him.”

Anna and Balthazar just stared at him incredulously. “Seriously, Cass?”

“You are such an idiot.”

“And you didn’t realise that might be considered as wrong?”

“How can anyone actually be that naïve?”

“I refuse to believe I am related to you.”

\--

There was only ten minutes left before class when Cass texted Dean to come meet him. Hardly a minute later Dean was jogging over towards him. “Cass!” He exclaimed with a grin, pulling his boyfriend into a tight hug despite being in public. When Castiel didn’t relax into the embrace Dean pulled back worriedly. “Cass, what’s wrong?”

“I need to talk to you, Dean.”

Dean swallowed the lump in his chest, a million worst-case scenarios rushed through his mind. Cass realised he didn’t actually like Dean after all and it was all a mistake. Cass wanted to break up. Cass found out he was D. Dean steeled himself. Fortunately Cass grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall because in that moment Dean had frozen statue-still, like Cass’s words alone had the power of Medusa.

The area Cass had dragged him to was relatively secluded however a student of two would occasionally wander by without a second glance. It was silent for a minute with Cass’ heavy breathing the only noise between them before he spoke.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” He stated solemnly.

“W-what?” Dean sputtered out with awkward stiffness.

Cass looked up into Dean’s eyes. Endless blue sparkling with moisture and tainted with pools of pain. “I humbly apologise. I-I believe I have been acting unfaithfully to you despite it being very early in our relationship.”

Dean furrowed his brows. “What are you saying, Cass?” Surely his adorably odd, socially impaired boyfriend had not found a way to cheat on him in the few hours they had been separated.

“I…there is no excuse for the way I acted. I completely understand if you wish to call an end to this relationship.”

Dean gripped Cass’s shoulder and squeezed tight. “Tell me what happened, Cass.”

Cass shook his head rapidly, like a wet puppy shaking dry. Dean had to steady and still him before he could talk. “After I left you I snuck out to be with another man. I was told my actions during this time were unacceptable and I see that now. M-my best friend…he…” Castiel tried to shake free again but it was no use, “he asked for a kiss and I…” Cass trailed off.

Dean couldn’t help himself from grinning, this was just too good. “Oh really?”

Cass nodded dismally. “In case you have not realised yet, Dean. I am not exactly ‘normal’. I do not understand things the way most people do. I am lost in relation to social norms or colloquialisms or expected behaviour and so on…I…I was unaware my actions would be considered as cheating on you.”

“Cass, don’t worry about it.”

Castiel ignored Dean’s assurance. “I want to get better. I really like you, Dean.” He held Dean’s gaze worriedly. “I-if you’d still have me, still accept me despite my behaviour…I would love to continue being your boyfriend.

Dean smiled dumbly. He considered himself insanely lucky to have such an amazing boyfriend.

“Dean?”

“Cass, don’t ever change.”

Blue eyes blinked slowly a few times. “…D-Dean, I do not understand, I-“ He was silenced suddenly by the feel of Dean’s lips solidly against his own.

“You’re fucking perfect. You know that, right?”

Cass searched Dean’s eyes for answers. “Is this an apology accepted?”

“Definitely. Castiel, I know and trust you. You wouldn’t intentionally flirt with someone else.” Dean chuckled knowing there was no ‘someone else’. “How could you even think I could dump you over this? If I can have a gorgeous boyfriend who feels the need to make such a formal apology for being adorably and harmlessly naïve then I’m not going to give that up so easily.”

Cass looked at Dean in awe, beyond grateful for his boyfriend’s forgiveness. “Dean…” He whispered tenderly. “Kiss me.

Dean gladly did.

When they separated Cass blurted out his next line. “It seems I am unable to recognise what flirting is.”

“Hey, you seem pretty good at it to me, even if it is unintentional.”

Castiel shoved at Dean’s arm. “That’s the problem! I cannot just go around accidentally flirting with people. It would be unfaithful to you.”

Dean shook his head. “There are many ways I could describe you, Cass. Unfaithful is not one of them. You just don’t know what flirting is.”

Cass blushed at Dean’s expression of trust. “Okay, well…would you teach me?”

“Teach you what?”

“Would you please teach me what would be considered as a seductive gesture and what would be considered purely platonic?”

Emerald eyes watched Cass incredulously. “You’re asking me to teach you how to flirt?”

“No. I’m asking you to teach me how to differentiate them.” Castiel corrected.

Dean smirked. “I could do that.”

Dean grabbed Cass’s hand and led them through the halls, taking so many turns it made Castiel’s head spin, before he reached a classroom he knew would be empty and unlocked and out of the way of prying eyes. The floor was raised slightly and Cass stumbled over the hidden step, nearly falling face first on the ground but grabbed the first thing he found for support – Dean’s hips.

Dean smirked. “Woah, better buy me dinner first.” He winked.

As Cass shakily returned to his own feet he asked. “I apologise…would that be considered flirting?” Well, considering the way his hands had temptingly grazed over Dean’s thighs as he moved away, it was sexy at least.

Laughter erupted from Dean’s chest. “Not unless it was intentional…and unless you’re playing me along and this lesson is also you flirting, that was just a coincident…”

Cass nodded and Dean gently guided him further into the room. Dean tried to formulate his words in a manner Cass would be able to understand easily. “Pretty much any intentional prolonged physical contact with anything other than a malicious, necessary or platonic intent could be considered flirting or personal but certain touches are…moreso.”

Cass nodded enthusiastically, mentally taking note. One of Dean’s strong hands clasped onto Castiel’s shoulder. “Okay, in most cases this would be considered friendly whereas this,” he moved his hand, trailing it along his shoulder blade and cupping the back of his neck, applying pressure to gently guide them closer together, “would be considered flirting.”

Castiel exhaled a breath he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding. “I-I understand.” He stuttered out.

Of course Dean just had to tease him some more at the sight of colouring in Castiel’s cheeks. “Do you? So then this…?” He brought his hand up to cup Castiel’s cheeks, feeling the heat through his skin, and let his thumb rub gently across his cheekbones and play lightly with his feathery eyelashes.

“Flirting.” Castiel breathed out, feeling the heat of his words dance between their skins. “Correct.” 

“S-so, anything where your faces are close together?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I suppose, touch too.” A strong arm wrapped around Castiel’s waist. When one of Dean’s hands grazed over Castiel’s backside the smaller boy shook uncontrollably. Dean thought he had liked it until he saw the look of panic on his features and pulled his hands away. “Sorry.”

“N-no, don’t be.” Cass breathed out. “I-I’m just being stupid and you probably think I’m prude. You’re so understanding and…god, I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t you dare say anything like that again, Cass.” Dean kissed the tip of Cass’s nose. “We’ll move slow alright? You pick the pace.” Castiel trembled so Dean removed his arm from his waist and leant in closer and whispered so that his lips would brush against Castiel’s with every movement. “I won’t rush you.”

Castiel choked on his breath and Dean kissed him again, only making him lose his breath faster. Castiel’s toes curled up as the pleasure rushed through him. “Dean…”

Dean slid his hand off Castiel’s cheek and rested it lightly over his lips. “Shh, class isn’t over, Cass.”

Bright laughter filled the heated air between them when Dean removed his hand from where it had been covering Castiel’s mouth. “I don’t believe they teach this sort of thing in school.”

“Hmm, they should. Maybe I should volunteer as instructor.” Dean hummed, his lips ghosted over Castiel’s with teasingly touches and the smaller boy sighed as the vibrations passed through his skin.

“Don’t you dare, you’re mine.” He pecked Dean once. “And it would render this private lesson obsolete.” Castiel leant forward, pink tongue darting at Dean’s lips once before he kissed him. It was just another simple press of lips but electricity seemed to pass through the contact, waves of happiness raked through their bodies. When they separated they stayed still and Dean’s long eyelashes tickled Castiel’s cheeks. Castiel ducked his head and kissed the tanned skin of his neck. “That was intentional flirting by the way.”

Dean groaned. “Keep doing that and I’m a goner.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

\--

By the time they got to their separate homerooms they were beyond late. Dean got hit with a detention for that afternoon and Cass got away with it purely because he was otherwise a good-two-shoes and the teacher didn’t doubt Castiel’s excuse for a second.

Dean’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he sneakily caught a glimpse of it. There was a message from Castiel…well, C in this case.

In order to keep up his guise he had had to give Cass another phone number. It would be a dead give-away if he happened to have the same number as D. He took on of his dad’s old phones that Mary had kept for both sentimental value and in case they needed them, he used a cheap sim card he’d got from the gas station. Carrying two phones around now was going to get really frustrating but it was necessary. He felt a little guilty using his dead father’s phone to deceive his trusting, loyal boyfriend but it had to happen.

C: No more hugging or kissing etc. I’m taken. ;)

Dean accidentally let out a laugh and the teacher almost confiscated his phone. He knew this deception would blow up in his face eventually but it was for the best and for now…it was pretty amusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See guys, if you tell me what you like/don't like/suggestions you might even get a chapter out of it. ;)


	13. Chapter 13

D: Damn I really enjoyed our kiss ;)

C: I’m sure you did but it doesn’t change the fact that I have a boyfriend I would never even consider cheating on?

D: Not even a little bit?

C: No.

D: Not even a casual fuck?

C: Definitely not.

D: Not even a make out session here or there?

C: D, stop it. The more you say the less I want to talk to you.

D: Hey, I wasn’t trying to get anything out of you. Trust me.  
It just means more than you know to hear you say all that  
I’m sure your boyfriend’s happy to have such a loving, loyal partner  
I know I would be

C: Where’s all this coming from, D?

D: Don’t worry about it.  
Seeya tonight?

C: Most definitely.

\--

Ever since first period, Cass had felt eyes on him, burning holes into his skin. It evoked such an intense feeling of unease and nausea in him that he’d had to excuse himself during one lesson to dry-heave in a cubical and wipe away the cold sweat that had gathered at his forehead and his collar. When the bell run it was little more than a dull throb in his head and he had returned to his locker dragging his feet. He could hardly remember ever being under such intense scrutiny before and it unnerved him, yet he was beyond curious as to find out the reason for all the sudden attention.

The answer came five minutes into break in the form of three girls.

“Castiel Novak?” A pretty brunette inquired. Lisa Braedan, Cass’s mind supplied, he could recognise a good portion of the student body now. Cassandra Robinson and Carmen Porter stood a few steps behind her but their relaxed poses and casual stance showed they were in no way inferior to Lisa in position. 

“Yes.” Castiel replied and observed the three girls, his face deadpan. “From your posture and tone in conjunction with the actions of others towards me this morning I can assume there is a problem you wish to speak with me about.” 

Lisa’s large brown eyes blinked a few times, surprised. “Wow, you really are an oddball, aren’t you?”

“What’s with the robot-speak, freak?”

“Carmen, shh.” Cassie hissed.

Lisa looked back at Cass with a pained expression. The girls did not look angry or intentionally intimidating with the exception of Carmen. “Honey, we heard you’re dating Dean Winchester.”

“Oh.”

Cassie pushed forward past Lisa and explained briefly to Cass. “Yeah, someone overheard you this morning talking to Anna and it’s spread like wildfire since.”

“Oh, yes…that.”

“Yeah, so we want you to stop lying to people.” Carmen spat at Cass sourly. “You’re a loser and will always be so don’t try and latch onto Dean for popularity.”

Cassie quickly stood in between Carmen and Castiel as a barrier and Lisa apologised for her friend profusely. “No, no! That’s just Carmen, sorry.”” She attempted to send Cass a reassuring smile but he did not respond to it. “Believe me, Cassie and I hold no bad feelings for you, it’s just…well, the Dean thing…is it true?”

Cass was starting to grasp comprehension and allowed some of the tension to seep out of his skin, the feeling of being cornered slightly less intense now. “Yes, that is correct. Dean and I have been dating since yesterday.” He informed them.

Carmen snorted. “So you’re a boyfriend-stealer as well as a freak, then?”

“Pardon? I was not aware Dean-“

“Oh, no, no, no, no, honey. Carmen’s just being silly.” Lisa stuck her hands out and shook them to halt his words quickly.

“You see, Dean doesn’t usually date many people, he’s more for the one time flings.” Cassie explained patiently while holding a fuming Carmen back. “Lisa, Anna, Carmen and I area really the only proper girlfriends he’s ever had and even then we didn’t last very long.”

“Carmen was Dean’s second last girlfriend and…well, she hasn’t really gotten over him yet. Don’t worry, she’s like this for everyone Dean shows the slightest interest in.” Lisa laughed brightly like bells in the wind and Cass wondered how Dean could ever like Cass’s gravely, rough voice like sandpaper when he’d already heard Lisa’s. “You should have seen her with Anna! I feared we’d be dealing with a corpse on our hands.”

Carmen thrashed in Cassie’s hold. “I wish! That redhead slut deserves it for stealing my Dean.”

“For God’s sake, Carmen!” Cassie cried exasperatedly. “I told you we shouldn’t have let her join us. Can you handle Castiel, Lisa? I’ll get Carmen out of here.”

Lisa nodded and before Cass knew it the other two girls were out of sight. He let himself relax even further without Carmen’s presence; in comparison Lisa’s was calming. “So, Cass, can I call you that?” he nodded and Lisa beamed. “It’s such an adorable nickname! It suits you.”

“Um…thank you?” 

Lisa giggled. “Aww, you’re so cute, no wonder Dean likes you.”

“I like to think it’s because of my personality.” Castiel corrected smugly, he liked Lisa and felt he could joke around with her now.

She smiled at this. “You’re a good person, Cass, so that’s why I’m telling you this.” She flicked her manicured nails sullenly, thoughts formulating in her mind. “It’s best if you break up with Dean as soon as possible.”

“What?”

The hand Lisa placed on his shoulder was meant to be comforting but now if felt like anything but to Cass. “Like we said, Dean doesn’t do serious relationships, he’ll break up with you anytime, probably soon too, and it’s best you’re the one to do it or it’ll hurt like hell later. Trust me on this, I know.” 

“No.”

“Cass, more girls and boys like Carmen will tell you to do the same thing for more selfish reasons and in a not-so-nice way. Dean’s really popular and a lot of people won’t like the idea of you two dating, I don’t mind it just so you know but others will. Just take my advice.” Lisa begged.

“With all respect, Lisa, screw you.” Castiel stated with such simplicity it left Lisa speechless. “Dean and my relationship…it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time and there’s no way I’m just going to throw that away. So save your spot on the league of Dean’s exs, I don’t need it and won’t need it.

Lisa smiled hopelessly and shook her head lightly. “Well, that’s a first. Maybe your stubbornness will be the key but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She walked off without a glance and left Cass with a million and one thoughts clouding his mind. He spent the next few classes with his mind elsewhere. 

When Dean met Cass at his locker at lunchtime, he was practically bounding with energy and happiness. “What’s got you so excited?” Cass teased. He smirked and his eyes twinkled with amusement.

“You.” Dean’s smile grew impossibly wide, adorable little dimples played in his cheeks and his eye’s mirrored Cass’s. “Seriously, best start to a day ever. I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” Cass snorted at his boyfriend’s simplicity. “That and you’re eating lunch with me today, you promised.” 

Cass dropped his chemistry textbook in shock and it slammed on the floor, missing his foot by an inch. Dean bent down to pick it up and Cass took the time to look around the hall and his already stiff, awkward posture seemed to freeze up more. Eyes flicked around to see all the faces staring intently at him and Dean. There were so many. Too many to have just been because of the loud bang of his textbook. No, these people had already been watching them beforehand.

They were watching him because of Dean. Watching him because he was dating Dean.

People had their phones out, cameras pointing at the pair. Whispers of disbelief at the pairing and rumours swirled through the stagnant air like a disease. All of a sudden Castiel found it impossible to breathe. His throat itchy. His pulse throbbed in his head. He would have fumbled for his asthma puffer in his bag had his joints had not frozen still. It felt cold.

At the feel of a familiar hand tenderly cupping his cheek he felt warm again and the heat moved through his body like dripping honey. “Cass, you okay? You’re all stiff.”

“Yeah, just,” he looked back at the spectators just in time to be caught by camera flashes which no doubt caught the two in their romantic position, “I’m not familiar with this kind of attention and I am doubtful it is wholly positive in intent.”

Dean leant forward and pressed his lips to the tip of Cass’s nose. “Screw them.”

“Dean, we cannot just ignore them, they’re so-“

Cass’s lips were covered by Dean’s, a pleasant touch that made Cass feel serene again despite being the focus of many pairs of eyes. He vaguely recognised the flash of cameras going off before his eyes fluttered closed, eyelashes tickling Dean’s cheek. He felt the corners of Dean’s lips turn up at the feeling and he couldn’t help but do the same. They hadn’t really gotten past the simple touch of lips but considering it was only their second day of dating and Cass’s awkward hesitance he thought it was a pretty damn good achievement, some couples went far longer. 

He leant into the touch, and turned his head, their noses knocked together clumsily and Dean chuckled at the action. Vibrations of laughter passed through his lips to Castiel’s and suddenly they were both laughing together. Their lips had separated but the same couldn’t be said about the rest of them. Cass had found a comfortable position laying his forehead against Dean’s and their arms had at some point wrapped around each other’s bodies.

“It’s just us, Cass. Screw them. Right now it’s just us.” Dean explained adoringly, endless green eyes full of undying love and affection. A small part in the very back of Cass’s mind recognised that as something similar to what he’d told D the night before, but now it was with a slightly different message.

“Just us,” Cass pecked Dean’s lips coyly, “and that’s perfect.”

Dean inhaled wistfully. “God, you’re amazing. What did I do to deserve you?” He asked to no one in particular. Cass smiled and leant his torso further into Dean’s and the stronger boy wrapped his arms tighter around his midriff and lifted his boyfriend off the ground slightly. 

“Everyone’s watching,” Cass examined without actually looking away from Dean’s eyes, “and you know what? I don’t care.”

Dean laid another tender kiss on Cass’s lips for good measure. “C’mon, Jo’s been asking about you non-stop since Wednesday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, short, deal with it! Huge assessment period for me so be glad I can spare this much.
> 
> BTW Carmen's the girl from Dean's djinn fantasy. Sorry to make her such a bitch but I needed someone like that. Oh, and some more people being douches next chapter from Dean's 'friends'.

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahaha, also I had to rewrite the "Don't diss angel Cameron! He's my favourite!" line a few times because I kept realising how you could assume I was talking about Chris Angel or Charlie's angels. XD
> 
> Also, any comments about Michael being too nice will be treated as white noise on the basis that I love him to death. (And the thing about Michael burning a hole into some guy's skull is actual lore for the foundation of the Mont St Michael in France.)


End file.
